WACO DICO 1

One thing I've come to love and appreciate about comedy is the fact that a lot of the funny jibes thrown at the audience has some wisdom or salient truth in it. The same goes for these spoof dictionary descriptions I got via email. I was so intrigued by them that I went a-searching online for more to beef up the collection. take a look for yourself and feel the outrageous wisdom of these wisecracks.


CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!




CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


DENTIST:
A magician who puts metal into your mouth, and pulls coins out of your pocket.


DISNEYLAND:
People-trap operated by a mouse.


ACHIEVEMENT:
The end of doing and the beginning of bragging.


ADOLESCENT:
A teen who acts like a baby if you don't treat them like an adult.


ADVICE:
What we ask for that we already know the answer to but wish we didn't.


ALIMONY:
A mistake by two people, paid for by one.


AMBASSADOR:
An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.


ANONYMOUS:
The worlds most popular author.


ARCHAEOLOGIST:
Man whose career lies in ruins.


DIVORCE:
Future tense of a bad marriage


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before


CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read


SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life


ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do


COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together


EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes


ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions


YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip


IMPOTENCE:
Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"


INSANITY:
Driving forty minutes to a health club, then waiting thirty minutes to get on a treadmill for twenty minutes.