When a Man Falls In Love With a Goat...SMH!

Is the goat a unique animal?

Is there something that makes this renown ruminant stand out?

Apart from the fact that it is a symbol of stubbornness, (you've heard of the stubbornness of the he-goat, no matter how much you smack it, it never learns.) stupidity (they never seem to understand what it means to be in danger until it is too late.) and ability to crap at random (ever seen a goat drop shit like its hot?), they are also used as metaphors for elements that won’t make heaven, the likeness of the devil and his esoteric symbolisms (occultic baphomet and the likes)

But nowadays, we are seeing goats standing out in more bizarre circumstances.

From news of men ‘straffing’ goats to even marrying them to people paying millions for them.

I came across a news item where a Saudi Arabian businessman sold a goat for three million dollars. I was like…is there something unique that this goat would do to my life if I ate it? Would I become smarter? Would I shit out the remains of the digested goat as pieces of gold?

Why did the goat cost that much? They said it was because it had unique features! *SMH!*

Maybe I should start looking about for any weird-looking local fowl in my neighborhood to sell to a Saudi Businessman, those guys have a lot of oil money to waste.

Back to the issue of the goats, I read a news item where a man was banned from every farm in Britain and sentenced to six weeks in jail for ‘kpanshing’ a goat.

While the news of humans getting caught sexing animals is not new, even here in Naija, I’m just trying to figure out what kind of sick devilish ‘agro’ would make a full human-being lust after a ruminant? What kind of insane sex appeal does a grass-eating-stinking-herbivore have that a fellow woman-being doesn’t have?

I tire.

And if you think that’s downright disgusting, what will you say about Aparecido Castaldo, a retired stone cutter from Jundiai, Brazil who decided to actually marry a goat?

Imagine being labelled the husband of a goat...eeww!

Did I hear the person who never heard the story say ‘Haa!!’?

Oh yes he did. And guess where he did it? In a Church of Satan!

Why? No Christian church would ever honor such a disgusting request to be married to an animal. According to the report, Aparecido fell in love with his pet goat two years ago, and apparently she has already been accepted as a “stepmother” by the man’s seven children.

Hmm…so the insanity is no doubt hereditary – that his kids decided to embrace his move an accept a goat as their ‘stepmother’!

I can’t even imagine it!

Although the wedding between the man and his goat caused a lot of controversy in the community and attracted accusations from animal rights activists, Castaldo said they don’t intend to ‘straff’.

See attempted tomfoolery! There’s no way I’m buying that story.

This sick old man must have been ‘kpanshing’ that goat till he developed a sick soul-tie and couldn’t imagine life without it. Thus they got married….

What an abomination!

Goat illustration courtesy:

www.dragoart.com