Growing up as a kid in Naija is one heck of an adventure - that is if you're not some spoiled rich brat who passes through life in Naija without Naija life passing through you. The best times I always have with my 5 other siblings whenever we meet, are the times when we recount our past experiences living together as kids in a Yoruba household.
The harsh life and struggle
to survive may not only have brought out the best in most Yoruba kids but also
sometimes the worst in our younger years. Getting spanked or smacked for an
offence the Yoruba way is somewhat an undocumented culture.
It is the characteristics of
the ranges of spankings or slaps our mothers give us through our growing years.
Most ‘Ajepako’ (Naija pidgin lingo for ‘born without the silver spoon’) kids that
ever lived in the ghetto would be familiar with these ranges of beatings meted
out by our hard-core parents for any misdemeanor we committed. But don’t be
surprised, some ‘Ajebutter’ (born with silver spoon) kids have equally gone
through it too; probably due to their parents’ background.
Yoruba mums are known to produce
the best range of slaps or beatings namely the Igbati, Ifoti, Igbaju, Igbarun, Iforun, Ifakun , Ibadi and Abara.
These slaps will make you
think you were adopted.
They are meted out with
precision. Our mothers are skilled marksmen in dishing them out. You receive the
stinging justice when you least expect; sometimes it happens so fast you are caught
off balance.
The Igbati is that stinging slap that will make you correct your wrong immediately.
It is the corrective slap that serves as a physical ‘autocorrect’ to return
your faulty senses to its default settings of a well behaved state
The beauty of Ifoti is that you will be inspired to
instantly confess your sins on the spot. This one is most effective for making
lying kids spit out the truth.
The Igbarun, Igbaju and Iforun
will make you snitch on all those who committed the crime with you without
hesitation. This was probably adopted by Naija Police to coerce criminals to
snitch on their apprentices.
Iladi will
make you pee in your pants! In fact I have a ‘testimony’ to a powerful Iladi
that was given to a one-time schoolmate of mine. The beating was so hot; my guy
literarily shat his pants.
Finally, Abara is the last and the worst...The best way to describe this one
is that it will make you do all of the above at once!
No wonder foundations of home
training for many Naija families are hard to destroy.
I’m a living example and a
graduate of this spanking culture. And trust me; it wasn’t a piece of cake for
me back then; especially with my Mum being an Air Force Military Officer. *Inspired by a circulated WhatsApp message.
I read this note with fearful nostalgia and I can perfectly relate with it. As far as the disciplinary battle is concerned, my mom was a warrior...
ReplyDeleteNice piece. Hilarous but true. I didn't grow up in a yoruba household but I did "enjoy" all these except the Iladi-I'd've probably died! I remember my mom gave my younger brother the "abara" once & he coughed so hard, my dad panicked...long story short, my mom never gave any of us the abara ever again!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up as a non-ajebutter was quite an adventure though!
As am I. I am a proud graduate of the school of literal hard knocks. I did an entire post on it called abara toh behd! An ode to my mother whose precision skills in doling out revolutionary abaras, shaped me to be the young woman I am today. I have told my children yet unborn to watch out for me, cos I learnt at the feet of the Master, ie my mother.
ReplyDeleteHehehe....many memories of growing up in lagos. But spanking is not restricted to Yoruba homes only. I can testify to that, being an ajepako ibo girl. My Father's favorite was a hard knock on the head, popularly known as a "konk". Then there was the "ndowa nti" which involved the offender being lifted off the floor by his/her two ears.....scary, I tell you. I got an "abara" once sha.....*shudders* :)
ReplyDelete@Avicto....Hahaha! Mum was a warrior? wow...I can imagine!
ReplyDelete@Miss Mawee....lol, those days were something, really. sometimes the spankings get a bit extreme..but they get sorted.
@Cherrwine....wow..I would have loved to read that post. The school of 'hard knocks' - I like that term. I wish I had used it in this write up.
@Clarion...hmmm...I seriously must do a research on spanking in different tribes...lol. The konk is another dreaded one...it even cuts across the tribes.