Movie on Aluu Killings in The Making?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, November 30, 2012

Trust Idumota marketers to cash in on the opportunity to make a movie out of anything that's either trending or making news. Reports gathered are that Simony Productions, the Idumota marketers who brought you the movie 'Blackberry Babes' are out to make a movie based on the four Uniport students that were killed by Aluu residents in Port Harcourt.

Many Nigerians have actually been condemning the development; the fact that a tragic incident that happened in October was already being scripted into a movie only just two months after the incident. Another aspect that would be violated is the unsought consent of the families of the deceased students.

Meanwhile another report says that the producer is condemning the fact that people are quick to conclude that his movie is about the Aluu killings. He is said to claim that it is not about the Aluu 4 and that people should wait to see the movie first.

Well, that's what the producer is reported to be saying but seriously, if we look at the pictures from the location shoot above, are they not enough to tempt us to ask the following questions? 

1. Isn't the fact that the beaten-up characters are four in number a striking coincidence?
2. Don't their attackers look like some sort of uniformed a vigilante group? (The real killers were vigilante)
3. Why have they've all been stripped of their clothing and huddled together looking hopeless and similar?
4. Why is it that looking at the pix alone the thought that comes to one's mind is 'Aluu'?

I guess time will tell. Until we see what this movie is really about (if there really is such a movie in the making!), we can't nail the producers for shooting a movie on an incident that's still very fresh in our minds. But if the movie has nothing to do with the Aluu 4 or is just having a scene that is a coincidence, then I'll say they did make a big mistake making it look too familiar.

The Auchi Incident: An 'Ember' Curse in Action? [With Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The robbery invasion that took place in Auchi, Etsako West Local Government of Edo State on Monday from about 6 pm is no doubt one of the most violent and destructive robbery operations that has happened in a long time in Nigeria; it all looked like a scene out of a violent thriller.

This was a robbery operation embarked upon by bandits armed with both guns and explosives, it was so violent that the community thought there was a war going on in the area.

The Robbers were said to have come in three Toyota Camry cars and a bus. Though a report said that they were 50 in number, I doubt that three cars and one bus would carry 50 people.

Three banks were said to have been targeted in the rampage (GT Bank, Ecobank and Access Bank) but only pictures of the destruction of GT Bank and Access Bank were caught on camera. The Auchi Divisional Headquarters of the Nigerian Police was almost reduced to nothing as it was bombed into a total wreckage. The whole place looked like a war zone.

The Access Bank Building

The destruction on the Access Bank building.

An ATM Machine blown out of the wall on the Access Bank Building

The GT Bank Building

The Police Area Commander, Mr. David Jimwan was said to have reported that though the Police buildings were destroyed, the robbers did not succeed in breaking into their armoury. I'm wondering if that is any news; what would robbers who came with more sophistacted weapons want with Police armoury? Then Mr. Jimwan was also reported to have said that his men succeeded in repelling the fire power of the robbers during the attack.

That sounded funny. With the nature of this attack and destruction, the police would have more or less taken to their heels rather than stand and fight. Besides, it was reported that the robbers succeeded in killing about 10 people. The Police did not even succeed in wounding a single one of them. Are they sure they really returned fire?

A wider view of the destroyed Police building.

Side view of the Police buiding

A patrol vehicle destroyed in the attack

Another affected Patrol vehicle

However, this robbery incident is an indicator of the coming festivities of Christmas and passage into the new year. As these events draw near, cases of robbery are usually on the rise. Its seen as one of the curses of the 'ember months' - the Naija urban legend that from the months of September to December, more terrible things happen and more people die, most of which are attributed to road accidents.

May we not see such again!



Images Courtesy:
www.saharareporters.com
www.nairaland.com

Kids Do The Darndest Things 2

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I was up this morning preparing for work when A.Y. trotted out of the room he shared with his little sister. He looked like a small sumo wrestler with his diapers, baby fat and small plaid shirt. I swooped him off his feet, balanced him in my arms and greeted him with a fatherly good morning.

A.Y. scooping at his finished plate of rice

He gave his usual shy smile in reply then indicated his wish to come down.

I put him down wondering what his mission was. He continued trotting further into the master bedroom, his diaper bouncing underneath his little butt. I eventually saw where he was headed – to the corner where we kept the Bobo drink packs for him and Timi to be taking to school daily. There was actually only one Bobo left in the pack which was reserved for Timi since she leaves earlier for school before her brother. We intended buying his later on the way to school.

A.Y. reached into the pack and drew out the last Bobo bottle.

Wifey came in and saw the drama. She gently took the drink from his hand and he instantly lost it. He bawled angrily and refused to be petted, carried or offered anything else except Bobo.

I was perturbed.

I had never seen A.Y. in this state. And I could see clearly that he was not just unhappy but plainly angry. It was an amusing sight; he sobbed like he had been robbed and denied his fundamental baby rights. He even refused to have his breakfast and frustrated his Mum in the effort. Looking at the fact that he was just a year and five months, he would never understand that the Bobo drink was meant for school or Creche and not for breakfast.

Timi who had just had her own bath and was only in her briefs and vest came to where he was feeling sorry for him and for a moment I thought she wanted to scold us for making her baby brother cry.

Eventually A.Y. calmed down and allowed wifey to feed him.

Later I was in the bath when I heard A.Y. scream again and start crying. When I finished up and came out, I asked Wifey what had happened again.

‘It was that Domo character that scared him on TV. I had to change the station.’

I laughed. Domo was actually a children’s stop-action animated series that showed in between broadcasts on Nickelodeon on DSTV. The character had this open-mouthed face with exposed dentition. Was that really a scary sight for kids? I mean take a look at the picture of Domo below:

Domo

  

I picked up my shirt, put it on and was buttoning up when Timi squealed.

‘Eeee! See Daddy’s shirt! Mummy! Daddy is wearing ah shirt!’

I looked at her in surprise.

How on earth did she know the shirt I was wearing was brand new? This was not the first time Timi had appreciated any new clothes I wore. I began to realize that she was a very observant child.

I looked at wifey who was shoving food into hungry A.Y.’s eager mouth.

‘Does this girl know all the clothes I have?’

‘You’ve forgotten the kind of daughter you have?’

Timi smiled and jumped about obviously aware and enjoying the fact that she was creating some level of amusement.

Timi amused at my new shirt.

‘Man, kids of nowadays…at her age, I never enter school oh. I was still pushing tyre and running about in my small pant’ I said.

‘Point of correction, sweetheart; in those days you ran and played about wearing ‘Pata’, not ‘Pant’. There’s a difference between the two.

I roared in laughter. Timi laugh join, A.Y. chuckled spitting bits of rice all over the place.

I looked at them and shook my head again in wonder.

Children of nowadays are sharper than we think!

Only in Naija [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, November 26, 2012

Only in Naija - do Bus bumpers have multiple uses

Only in Naija - do we get flogged like this as kids

Only in Naija - do staff use their office AC to refrigerate drinks

Only in Naija - can a water seller be a learner

Only in Naija - do some drivers drink what they drive

Only in Naija - can a woman marry her fiance in absentia

Only in Naija - will a honda accord carry combined load meant for a pick up

Only in Naija - is 'giraffing' in exam hall an art.

Only in Naija - do goats also wear 'Aso Ebi'.

Only in Naija - do women wear helmet on top of headgear

Only in Naija - do students do pissing competition

Only in Naija - will somebody ask such a stupid ignorant question.

Only in Naija - are empty promises a tradition

Only in Naija - do you see ridiculous scams in papers.

Only in Naija - do planes carry 'attachment' and load like this.

Only in Naija - does this punishment happen in secondary schools

Only in Naija - do most female students wear this in Secondary school

Only in Naija - can you find all kinds of useless associations

Only in Naija - does an aboki rock this outfit combination

JobClickr - Revolutionizing Job Search in Africa

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, November 26, 2012

I've come across many sites that assist Nigerians in seeking for jobs (in fact I used to have one linked on my site before the site developed template problems and I lost the link in the process of revamping it). And while so many job search sites are springing up, one young man has decided to add a different twist or feel to it; one that will revolutionize the way we search for jobs online.

The site in question is www.jobclickr.com a job search engine designed in the likes of google. Its simply a search engine that allows you to search for jobs in Africa as if you were  just googling it. Even the template of the site bears that clean spacey look most search engines are known to have. It features input for data such as the Job description, the country, your CV/Resume (for employers to find you).

The site is designed to index all job sites in Africa and deliver the results in a uniquely arranged format to any job seeker based on their search. It basically searches out every African job site,  corporate website, blog or social network on the internet for jobs, gets these feeds and provides it to any job seeker based on their search criteria. Whether you are a Nigerian in South Africa, that seeks to work in Ethiopia or Ghana, www.jobclickr.com is the site for you.

This gives you better advantage in your job search. Instead of painstakingly going through the trouble of searching out job sites out of many ambiguous searches online, www.jobclickr.com just simply filters out the sites with Job vacancies.

Now this is definitely notches higher than just logging onto one particular job site to search out the job you’re looking for because this site lists out all sites that are offering just across the internet in Africa.

Jobclickr is owned and operated  by Mr. Neme Muoka, a young Nigeria based in the USA, New York to be precise.  Muoka over time has garnered a lot of experience working for a number of software companies including American Software Resources (An IT recruitment firm based in New York) and Google.  He is a physics graduate from Federal university of Technology Owerri (FUTO) and launched his first business from the age of 16.

How to use Jobclickr

1.     Log on to the site, www.jobclickr.com

2.     Select the country you wish to find jobs in, enter the job description you seek and it will bring jobs in that field to you. If you want to search by city, click the city tab and select the city you desire.

3.     Jobclickr will search over 5,000 job boards, blogs and newspapers (including this blog) and will deliver the results to you immediately.

Mr. Muoka can be reached at cmouka@jobclickr.com 

Happy Searching!

Pockets Unplugged for Rhythm Unplugged

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, November 23, 2012

If you’ve been watching Nigerian Tv lately, you might have come across this TV commercial for another episode of a Harp Sponsored annual show coming up in December at Eko Hotel & Suites titled ‘Rhythm Unplugged’.  As usual it features a large collection of celebrities considered to matter in the entertainment industry.

I usually ignore Ads like these but I happened catch a glimpse of this one and was alarmed when it came to the cost of tickets and tables…tickets @ N5,000 and N30,000 while Tables were N500,000, N750,000 and N1million!

Okay…maybe we’ll consider the fact that it’s taking place in a high profile environment such as Eko Hotel and Suites but then there have been shows that cost far less that took place there. I’m not one to go to such events but what actually irks me sometimes is the money required to be spent by those coming to these events.

I won’t worry about the cost of the tickets but I still don’t get the cost of the tables. …N500,000, N750,000 and N1million all blown in one night? Is there something extra super duper special about those seating positions that they cost that much? If I seat on them tables will my intelligence and ability to make more money be upgraded instantly?

And people open their mouth to castigate Pastors that got private Jets as gifts to enable ministry work yet blow over a million naira away in one night of fun! (Of course after buying the seats you go still pay for expensive drinks abi?)

It’s true what they say about Nigeria…we’re a very rich nation but the money is always going into the wrong places and spent on the wrong things.

I won’t be surprised if corrupt Politicians and big wigs litter the event ready to spend their hard stolen cash on the event.

Na dem sabi waste money like that.

Naija Among Top 5 Nations That Shit in Public

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Of all the embarrassing stuff about my beloved country spreading all over the globe, this one has got to be the most scatological and alarming. How on earth can they say 34 million Nigerians have no toilets? Sometimes I wonder how UNICEF and WHO come about their ridiculous statistics.

According to the claim jointly made by these organizations, Nigeria is also among the top five countries in the world with the largest number of people that defecate in the open!

How in the world did they come up with that?

Did they launch neighborhood guerilla spies to check out Naija folks whenever they endeavour to take a crap?

Okay, I do agree that in Naija we have people who have got a problem with sanely taking a shit the proper way but haba…how dem reach up to 34 million?

Oshodi alleyways, back in the days before Governor Fashola's
transformation, was a popular crapping  arena  for area boys.

The research was carried out due to the need to find out ways to prevent diarrhea and respiratory infections which was attributed to water sanitation and hygiene challenges. The UNICEF representatives are on a mission to help sanitize and encourage behavior change in this respect.

LOL…they should also extend their mission to offices. Ever entered an office restroom and discovered that instead of sitting on the closet, somebody had squatted on the toilet seat and left dirty marks on the seat?…not to talk of painting the walls inside the closet with their crap? How about the ones that don’t ever think its sensible to flush after doing the doodoo?

The beauty of using a water closet -
you can chat or ping away while taking a crap.

Come to think of it…is it people who don’t have toilets that act this way? Were they also included in this statistic?

Also I wondered whether Pit latrines were excluded as real toilets because many people who can’t use a the water closet may be too used to pit latrines…

I can’t blame them though…I blame those stingy landlords who prefer to install pit latrines instead of water closets.

  

The Day I Met the Governor

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, November 19, 2012

With the Eko 2012 games around the corner, the advertising awareness campaign had kicked off; our company was responsible for shooting the TV commercial and creating the print ads for the mediums requiring print for the event.

We had finished work on all these when we got another urgent brief that required us to film the governor welcoming people and participants to the event.

I left the office with Muyiwa, my colleague who was the Management personnel in charge of the account. We arrived at Teslim Balogun stadium where we met with top personnel of the organizing committee. We joined them in their bus, a Toyota Hiace branded in Eko 2012 games colors and headed for the State House where the Governor lived in Victoria Island.

Meanwhile, the film crew, DvWorx led by Mr. Femi Odugbemi, had already been informed to meet us there so they were on their way to the State House.

After being checked by the security, we were allowed into the big compound with well manicured lawns and neat white buildings. I dared not take any pictures because of the security guys checking on us intently from time to time.

Eventually, we were led to the building where the shoot would take place; it was a block of lounges or parlours which were sparsely furnitured. An area had been cleared for us and we set up with the film crew. Props of the Nigerian and Lagos State flag along with the Lagos coat of arms were brought in to be placed where the governor would sit.

A crew member sets the lights for the shoot

A thick short man in suit with a walkie talkie came to check out our arrangement and the script of what the governor was going to say. We discovered that he was the special adviser on media to the governor (I can’t remember his name). We had typed everything and loaded it on a teleprompter in readiness, I had also made the necessary corrections before the man cross-checked it to ascertain everything’s in place. Also we were required not to be more than seven people in the room.

Also, all phones, ipads were collected and handed over to security before shooting commenced but at least I was able to snap the location before we started.

Then the Media Adviser informed us that we would only be allowed to do one take.

The Director, Mr. Odugbemi didn’t like the idea. We were hoping to do three takes for editing purposes. Mr. Bashir from the organizing committee told us not to worry, that we’d get at least two takes.

We waited for almost an hour before Governor Babatunde Fashola finally walked in.

He was corporately dressed in crisp navy blue suit. Compared to what I’d seen of him on TV and press, he looked fresh, robust and quite tall; he reminded me of my Dad. Though he wore a skin cut, you could still see follicles of grey on his head. We all stood up and greeted him.

He stopped for a minute and took in all we had set up, a slight frown on his face.

‘Is this how you want to do it? I’m not standing?’ the governor asked.

He was referring to the fact that we had set up for him to sit down and not stand up to give the address.

‘No sir, you’ll be sitting’, Mr. Odugbemi the director replied.

The governor shrugged and sat down.

His lapel microphone had already been fixed before he came in so he was set to go.

When we started shooting, the teleprompter was at first too fast for him so we slowed it down.

Eventually we got two takes and two bloopers.

The governor then stood up with a smile to shake us all for a job well done. He didn't say much except thank us for what we were doing. His handshake was firm yet friendly. I guess he was impressed at how snappy and simple we did everything since he was a very busy man (which was the reason why the Adviser did not want more than one take).

I’ve always wondered how the governor was in person and from this brief meeting I could say he was certainly a simple gentleman.

Its not everyday you come face to face with a man that's making serious impact where others have failed.

Click this link to see the final video:

Zenith Bank: The Bank with no Compassion

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, November 16, 2012

On the 10^th of November, my subordinate was robbed at about 2pm in her car at a hold-up somewhere around Dopemu, Lagos. The robbers had operated using an okada (motorbike). One of them had approached her car in the hold up and pointed a gun at her demanding that she handed over the jewelry she was wearing and her handbag. She complied and he jumped on the bike driven by his accomplice and they zoomed off.

She had her ID card, ATM cards, Cheque books and a host of other documents in the bag so it was necessary to get across to her banks (Zenith Bank and GT Bank) to block any intrusion into her accounts.

On getting to the GT Bank at Anthony where she had her account, she made her complaint and was offered forms to fill to acquire a new cheque book and ATM card. She was required to pay N2,000 for both cheque book and ATM card. Meanwhile her account was blocked at no cost for the meantime to protect her funds.    

The Zenith Bank where she lodged her complaint

On getting to the Zenith Bank at First Pedro, Gbagada, she stated her case and was told that she needed to pay N5,250 to block her cheque book so that it cannot be accessed, produce a police report and sworn affidavit, and still pay N1,050 for new cheque book and also get charged for a new ATM card!

Meanwhile all the money she had just been paid as salary was in this account but it had been blocked. So where was she going to get the money to pay? At the end of the day she had to withdraw out of her kid's account in GT Bank to settle Zenith almost N7,000 to get her account back.

Despite its status as an apex bank, I've never regarded Zenith Bank as a customer friendly bank. The only reason I own an account in Zenith was because the place where I work opened salary account for its staff in the bank. I have resorted to always withdrawing my money and lodging it in my GT Bank account when time permits me.

This occurrence just further proves the kind of service you get from Zenith Bank and further confirms my thoughts about the bank.

So if you’ve got a Zenith Bank account and your cheque book or ATM gets lost or stolen, be prepared for the recovery wahala.

That their payoff line sef...In your best interest sounds arrogant.

A Close Shave With Fueled Death [With Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I had just left my office at about 12.30pm today to meet with wifey at the end of the street leading to my office when I heard a loud smashing metal noise coming from the nearby road that descended from the bridge. I saw what looked like trailers cavorting on the road, took wifey and bolted away from the location.

A trailer carrying cement was trying to overtake another which was a fuel tanker for Total petroleum. In the process, the cement trailer brushed against the fuel tanker causing the cylinder tanker to burst open spilling out fuel all over the place.
The location was between Anthony Oke along Gbagada expressway and Ikorodu expressway.

There was instant panic as cars fled from the scenario. The hold-up that had kept them at a standstill suddenly cleared miraculously. One guy actually took his bag and fled his car. He eventually went back to take his car when the chaos died down a bit.

The Petrol Tanker Trailer

The building in the background is Greensprings School

To one side of the fuel tanker was Greensprings School, to the other side was Corona School, both high brow schools attended by children of well to do Nigerians. Corona was still safe from the spilling fuel but Greensprings was not. The fuel rushed and flowed towards their compound. The location of the school has always been debated as being a bad location for a school; it sat in the axis between Ikorodu expressway and Gbagada expressway.

Greenspring Students evacuated to a safer location

Buses from Greenspring evacuating nursery pupils 

Greensprings students with staff from the school

Students and pupils were immediately evacuated from Greensprings to a safer location. But that did not mean they were all out of harms way. A student who was asthmatic suddenly began to react to the strong smell of petrol and had to be attended to as an emergency. The smell of fumes was so strong that peoples eyes watered, skins smarted from the gas emitting from the petrol.

Excess Petrol flowing in the gutter

People rushing to fetch petrol from the gutter in the distance.

Wasted fuel rushed so much that it flowed through the gutters near our office before emptying into a canal in a nearby bush. Company drivers, security men and a host of other neighborhood individuals seized the opportunity to get buckets and kegs to fetch fuel from the gutters.

I watched in stupefaction. This people still haven't learnt from all the fuel scooping disasters reported in the past in the media; the most recent the one of 20 people who were burnt to death in Abia State along Aba/Ikot Ekpene highway.

The fire service department finally showed up and poured foam all over the road to contain the spilling fuel. The road was blocked and re-routed for safety. Then they flushed the gutters to rid the fuel flowing through all the way into the canal.

The fire service surprisingly took control of the situation and did well.

By the time I sat down back at my desk, I felt heavy in the head and slightly sickly due to the fumes. The smell had been so thick in the air we all felt the effect.

I can't imagine how many houses, lives and property would have been lost if someone had been careless to do something that would ignite an inferno.

Thank God another disaster was averted.