Seven Types of Women to Beware Of in Ministry

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, February 19, 2016

I came across this interesting article by Pastor Joe McKeever. I think anybody who is just starting  or is already in a ministry should read it.

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech.” (Proverbs 4:3)

Before there was a folk singer by that name, James Taylor was a professor of preaching. This veteran teacher of preachers held forth in classrooms at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for many years. One day, in a room filled with young preacher boys, Dr. Taylor cautioned us about the temptations we would be facing.

“The day will come when a woman will sit in your office and proposition you. She will make herself available to you sexually. If your marriage is in trouble or if you are not up-to-date in your relationship with your Lord, you could get in big trouble fast.”

I raised my hand. “Dr. Taylor,” I said, “do you really believe that every one of us in this room will face this?” My mind was incapable of imagining a scenario in which a woman–any woman–would sit in a pastor’s office and try to seduce him.

“Yes, I do,” he said. “Even you, McKeever.”

That got a laugh.

I lived to see that day. (Fifteen years after she sat in my office making herself available to the young preacher, while preaching in another state, I spotted that woman and her husband–the same husband whose antics had given her cause to seek my counsel originally–in the congregation. I was thankful I had gotten this thing right in my office that day.)

The writer of Proverbs tried to do the same thing Dr. Taylor did for us in seminary that day: prepare the young lad for what he would be facing down the road.

“My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding;

That you may observe discretion, and your lips may reserve knowledge.

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.” (Proverbs 4:1-6)

Many pastors have paid the ultimate price for sexual sins.
If temptation would tell the truth, no minister would ever succumb to its enticements. If the allurement to commit adultery would adhere to a “truth in advertising” code, the “full disclosure” would read something like this:

“Subject needs to understand that by crossing this line and entering into a sexual relationship with this person, the minister will be despising His Lord, delighting the enemy, violating his marriage vows, disappointing everyone who ever believed in him from his youth until now, destroying his family, and ending his ministry..”

No one would ever commit adultery if he was required to sign that!

The devil, however, has no intention of ever revealing a list of side effects. Listen to him and you would think to disobey God is the way to fulfillment and happiness.

The sinning minister fools himself into believing all kinds of lies, most of them originating with the one Jesus called “the father of lies” (John 8:44). He convinces himself that “I deserve this, no one will ever know, I can have all the wonderful things in my life and this forbidden fruit also,” and then, there is the clincher–“This feels so good, it can’t be wrong.”

Too late does he find out the truth of the old adage, that sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost far more than you ever intended to pay.

Here are 7 women, pastor should watch out for in your ministry.

1) The woman who wants to be your wife.
She is unhappily married. Her husband has disappointed her in a hundred ways. Sitting in church week after week, it occurs to her that you are everything she has ever wanted in a husband. You are kind and gracious, thoughtful and spiritual. You love the Lord and are devoted to your family. You earn a good living and you do not drink or smoke or hang out in bars. So, she fixates on you.

Now, if she were rational, she would know that by seducing you–or winning you, however she would put it–all of those wonderful qualities she admires would suddenly go away: your ministry, your family, your income, the respect with which you are held in the town, your joy in life even.

In most cases, she thinks clearly enough not to actually try to break up your marriage (although that has happened often enough). She merely feels a strong attraction to you and puts herself in a position for you to pick up on it. Consciously or unconsciously, she becomes a trap for the unsuspecting minister.

2) The woman who wants to be your mother.
She will smother you with attention, inundate you with goodies she cooked “just because I knew you liked these,” and make life miserable for you. If you never suffered from claustrophobia before, you do now.

It’s not so much that she poses a sexual danger to you as that by allowing and encouraging this attention from her, you will give occasion to gossips to ply their trade. Avoiding “the appearance of evil” is always a good principle (I Thessalonians 5:22).

3) The woman who wants to be your lover.
This one has a particular allurement to the minister whose relationship with his wife has grown  stale. This really is the woman the Proverb-writer describes. And, in case one wonders, I seriously doubt that Solomon wrote this. The man with 1,000 girlfriends is in no position to offer such advice as we find in Proverbs 4! (Although he surely knew the truth of it!)

Such a woman seems to be amoral, without a sense of wrongness about anything she does. She justifies making herself available to the minister by statements such as: “You deserve this,” “God wants all of us to be happy, don’t you agree?” and “No one ever has to know; I certainly won’t tell.”

The thing to keep in mind, pastor, is that this woman making herself so available to you with no strings attached–that’s what she says, although we know better!–does not look like a Jezebel, painted and padded and bejeweled. You will not know her by her adornments.

She may be the pretty wife of  a deacon, the friend of your wife, or a church member who came to you for counsel. No one would ever pick her out of a crowd as a party-girl. But she is your biggest enemy.

4) The woman who wants to be your best friend.
She wants to confide in you as to who is doing what with whom in the church. She is a gossip.

She wants you to (ahem) “feel free to come to me anytime you need to talk to someone.” She wants to be your counselor.

In order to pull that off, her primary tactic involves a) spending a lot of time around you, perhaps volunteering in the office but more likely volunteering as your personal assistant, b) telling you intimate things about her own life, and c) asking you to unburden yourself with her.

If she cannot worm her way into your life any other way, look for her to befriend your wife and begin showing up in your home on a regular basis. Unless your wife is on your team, nothing about this is good from that moment on.

5) The woman you want.
There she is, the girl of your dreams. Maybe not the most beautiful woman in the world, but all things considered–her looks, her personality, her laughter, her spirituality, and a few other qualities that defy description–she is everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You get all swimmy-headed around her. You wonder if she does not pick up on all the vibrations your body is sending out.

There are a few problems, of course. You’re married and she’s married, for starters. And so you wisely tell yourself this can never be, that regardless of how wonderful she is, she is off-limits to you.

The problem is you keep being drawn to her and thrown with her (committees, work projects, etc). Because proximity fosters intimacy, unless you do something quickly, you are a goner.

In most cases, you cannot tell your wife this. You need a mentor who will be tough with you. If you have none, find yourself one now! Confide in him before you make the mistake of your life.

6) The woman who doesn’t know what she wants.
In most cases, this mixed up lady has come to you for counsel, asking you to tell her what to do. You listen to her whole complex life story.

Nothing about her is your ideal. You have never fantasized about her or anyone like her.

So, how does she become a problem to you? By her repeated visits to your office.

It’s a matter of focus. In sketching perhaps a hundred thousand people over these many years, I’ve found that everyone has a certain beauty and attractiveness about them. By focusing on the individual and not comparing them with anyone else, we can see it.  In the seclusion of the counseling room, as she unburdens herself with intimate details of her life, the minister may feel emotionally drawn to her.

The problem then becomes you, pastor, and not her.

Pastors should almost never become professional counselors. When church members come to you for help with problems, if it cannot be solved in a session or two, refer them to a trained professional.

Pastor Ed Young of Houston’s Second Baptist Church told some of us pastors once that we should not counsel at all. “All you need is for someone–man, woman, or child–to run out of the office accusing you of something, and your ministry is gone!”

He’s right. Pastor Young said when someone says to him following a church service, “I need to talk to you sometime,” he says,”Let’s sit in this pew right now and talk.” It’s in public and it will be done quickly.

I hate that life has come to this, but it has, and we have to deal with it.

7) The woman you work most closely with in ministry.
Once again, it’s a matter of focus. The minister of worship meets with the organist (or pianist or his personal assistant or whoever) on a regular basis to plan the services. The youth minister has frequent conferences with his secretary or a young woman in the church who assists in programming. The pastor meets with his children’s director or ministry assistant or the head of the women’s ministry or the chair of his personnel or finance committee.

Beware, minister. You must be proactive in heading off any possibility of a compromised situation.

Billy Graham decided early in his ministry never to be alone with a woman at any time. Some might find that extreme, but say what you will, his long and very public evangelistic ministry was never tainted in the least by sexual scandal or innuendo.

The most important woman in the church to you the minister.

Your wife must be your lover, your intimate friend, your best adviser and strongest counselor, and your “mother” (the one who cooks your favorite dishes and is always there for you).

Let the home fires get cold and you are setting yourself up for trouble, pastor. This is why the writer of Proverbs urged the young man he was mentoring to “drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well.”  He says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 4:15-23).

A pastor I know makes frequent mention of his wife from the pulpit. He makes it abundantly clear that he loves her dearly and, may I say, you get the impression that their intimate relationship is strong. He makes sure the church knows and supports his devotion to his wife and family, which means (among other things) that his off-time is as holy as his time in the office.

When he counsels women in his office, my pastor friend takes care. The door has a small window which allows anyone to see inside. At an agreed-upon time, his assistant phones to allow him an excuse to end the session. He is not a hugger.

Resist the devil by being strong in the Lord!

Source

Nuff said!

On Ayo Shonaiya's Concerns on Olajumoke Orisaguna's Breakthrough...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I came across this article that featured on Snitchngr.com which was said to have been written by Nigerian Film maker and promoter Ayo Shonaiya on his Facebook page. Though I was unable to find anything like that on Facebook as it was claimed to have been culled from, the piece was however interesting and insightful.

The article surrounded the story of Olajumoke Orisaguna who was catapulted from grass to grace by accidentally photobombing a photo shoot being done for Rap artiste Tinie Tempah.

Her story is heavily trending with serious follow-ups on her progress hitting entertainment/showbiz tabloids and blogs.

Ayo Shonaiya

In the midst of all the razzmatazz, glitz and glamour, Ayo Shonaiya fears that there may be some things that could be dangerously overlooked and I very much agree with him.

There was a statement where he was said to have mentioned that in his line of work, he looks where no one else is looking. Now I liked that because its one thing I always try to do on blogosphere. I could relate with what he said very much because my line of work also had to do with working with models and artistes of all kinds from time to time. What he said was very on-point.

Check out the article if you haven't read it:

At the risk of sounding like a hater, I am genuinely nervous as I read and watch this amazing story of a bread seller, who unknowingly strolls into a Tinie Tempah photoshoot, caught the eye of photographer TY Bello, and almost overnight becomes a global talking point. I must say also, that I absolutely love it.
This type of story gladdens everyone’s heart and serves as inspiration to millions of people that despite your current situation, your good fortune is just round the corner and never loses hope in life.

But, I can’t help but look beyond the fairytale and feel a sense of apprehension at the same time. In my line of work, my job is to look where no one else is looking when it comes to negotiating contracts, maximising earning potential for talent, and pretty much protect such talent, and I pray to God there’s someone doing that for this girl. I have discovered and developed raw talent in my time, some from unknown status to superstardom.

I have met others half way in their progression and developed together, but one thing I’ve never done is base anything on sentiment or “eeeyah”, or “Na only Baba God o…” etc, I am sometimes the one to bring up the unpleasant reality, the reality no one understands until years later.

But I always feel it’s best to understand the whole picture and be prepared for whatever happens next.
When I saw that this Olajumoke girl couldn’t even speak or read English, my first concern was she’s going to be bewildered by a lot of things, especially in the fashion and modelling world in Nigeria. Then the sudden fame and spotlight, which often times can confuse ‘experienced’ talent. There’s also the clamour for her time, makeovers, interviews, and of course the good stuff, endorsements, jobs, goodwill offers and donations (I hear she has 2 kids already).

I’ve seen her take pictures, holding up a Contract (which I hope has been explained to her well as she can’t read it), then the makeovers with heavy make up and lipstick (she looks nothing like the sweet girl we all fell in love with).

Forgive me I’m not a designer o, seeing her dressed in some shine shine outfits, I start to wonder, firstly I hope she’s getting paid well at least, and secondly, most people are only absorbing her story, as most of us don’t really know much about characteristics that suggest a great modelling career.

I really do hope and pray that, whatever happens to Olajumoke from now on, she is well protected.
The fashion and modelling industry (in Nigeria or anywhere in the world) can be the worst place you wanna be when “they” decide you’re no longer happening or trending, or worse, not useful anymore.

You wanna bet that some other models are already beefing her already? And another thing, when the same people who are “tapping into her anointing” now, start to write really disgusting and hurtful comments about her (anonymously of course) on blogs because her own is now getting too much, I hope she has a strong support system in the people that really love and care for her. But for now, Olajumoke ride on and God bless you.
Anyway, that’s my own. Me too I need to go and sell my proverbial bread in the market.” - From Facebook acct of Ayo Shonaiya   

Like I said earlier, this article was claimed to have featured on Ayo Shonaiya's Facebook page but on visiting there, I saw no such thing there; in fact his last entry on the account was on March 10, 2015. So where did this post come from? Was it mentioned on somebody elses page or comment section? If it was then this report was not done properly. I just hope its not a fake story.

Nevertheless, a lot mentioned in there made a lot of sense. Olajumoke needs to be protected....moreso, she needs prayers that will preserve her testimony.

Fifty Shades Of Grammar - How Bad Was It?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, March 05, 2015

As a writer, there are certain resources I'll always find very useful; one of such is the website www.grammarly.com - a site designed and dedicated to constructing proper grammar in the construction of the English language.

Despite the fact that I write, I'm not a stickler for jumping on the bandwagon to read every bestseller because not every bestseller seems to have actually sold its best to me. So when the hullabaloo about the novel Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L James was all over the place, I was just aloof....mainly because I didn't like checking out the romance (or sex bondage/fantasy?) genre.

But when grammarly.com came up with this interesting infographic and asked me to post it, I felt it was something that might interest other authors and fans of the novel.

Fifty Shades of Grey was said to have been panned by critics for its poor use of language. The Grammarly team reviewed the book and found mistakes similar to what could be found in some of the classics.

Check them out...

Courtesy www.grammarly.com

Someone once told me that no matter how well a book is written, it can never escape having a mistake. I'm wondering if this actually proves it.

Doesn't it?

What You Never Knew About Your Mobile Phone - Sage Harman

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Its amazing how one can own an indispensable gadget such as a mobile phone and not know half of what it can really do. My guest writer; Sage Harman, gives us the lowdown on the much more you can do with your phones. I went through his list and I was like 'Darn! For reals?' How much are you familiar with the intelligence of your mobile phone? Let's hear what Sage Harman has to say.... 

Mobile phones have come a long way over the years - from big, bulky monstrosities to ultrachic and sleek smartphones we carry these days, offering quite the same functions as computers. They have become a crucial part of our everyday life too, capable of making calls, sending emails, playing music and games, taking videos and photos and surfing the Web. But did you know that most smartphones can do so much more? Yes, here's a few other practical features and apps you may not know about.

Measuring Tool - you can use your smartphone for various measurements like distance, height, area and width.

Tracker - you can locate not only people, but even your lost or stolen phone using your smartphone's GPS tracking apps.

Webcam - you can video chat using your smartphone.

Health Monitor - you can become more health conscious by monitoring your diet and exercise using your phone. You can also use it to track your blood pressure and blood sugar levels.

Wireless Router - share your data access with your friends by turning your smartphone into a mobile hotspot.

GPS Unit - with the right apps, your smartphone can be a decent GPS device you can use online and offline.

Courtesy www.englishblog.com

Universal Remote Control - you can program your smartphone to control various home appliances.

eReader - you can turn your smartphone into an excellent reading device by installing eBooks and eBook apps.

Scanner - you can make your phone a barcode or QR code scanner with the help of various apps.

Television - you can live stream your favorite TV shows on your phone.

Digital Cookbook - you can turn your phone into a portable, virtual cookbook by saving recipes and cooking apps.

Digital Wallet - you can store your credit card and banking information on your smartphone so you can shop credit card and cash-free.

Do you know of any other cool uses for your smartphone, don't forget to comment and share! In the market for a new smartphone? Compare plans and get free information at http://www.no-contract-plans.com.

A frugal living enthusiast, wife and mother, Sage Harman runs http://www.no-contract-plans.com, a site dedicated to providing free information to consumers trying to find viable no-contract phone and internet plans.

Flashback Fridays: Yvonne Maha the Wonder Kid

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, May 09, 2014

Many who grew up in the 1980s will very much remember this talented child singer named Yvonne Maha. She stands for what the perfect Naija child star should sound like back in those days with songs that impact kids positively, not like today's Ozzy Bosco and Amarachi who have no idea about music and constantly have their voices over-cooked on computer auto-tuning, not to talk of the fact that the lame lyrics of a song that's just plain silly stunt for commercial reasons.

Listening to her music, I could still see the professionalism and power of childish purity that had undoubtedly been under adult direction and puppetry. Yvonne's voice is lovely and nice to listen to; a production credit that should go to the genius of the late Sonny Okosun. 

Yvonne was a child star that set the pace for the likes of other Child stars like Tosin Jegede and maybe Benita. I often ask the question where is she today? Rumours have abound about her passing away due to an abortion but the rumours where later discovered to be lies. The same rumour would be noted to have been passed down onto Tosin Jegede as well.   

In my search to find out more about what's up with Yvonne today, I came across this interesting article from Uchenna Ikonne of Comb & Razor:

I think it was sometime in late 1985 that I first heard that Yvonne Maha was dead.

Two years earlier, she had been the sensational talent find of 1983. Her Sonny Okosuns-produced debut Child For Sale had been a smashing success--the toast of the primary school hit parade, the soundtrack to many a preteen birthday party and family roadtrip. She had blown into our lives like a whirlwind of adorableness and goshdarn it, the public was sucked in. Now two years had passed since anybody had seen or heard anything from her. Two years can feel like a mighty long time when you've been alive for just over a decade yourself, and people started to wonder and speculate as to why she hadn't come out with another album. 

Yvonne being interviewed on the Bala Miller Show

And then the news of her fate hit the national gossip network: Yvonne had gotten pregnant. Tried to have an abortion. Something went wrong. She died.

Now this puzzled the hell out of me at the time. "She was having an abortion? How old was she, thirteen?"

"Yes," my aunt replied sternly. "That's why she died. She was too young and her body could not withstand the pregnancy. And the moral of the story is: Don't have sex before marriage! You hear?"

Well, however well-meaning the moral may have been, the story itself was soon discredited as pure fabu(lism): Some people knew which secondary school Yvonne Maha went to and confirmed that she had never been pregnant and was certainly not dead. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief and went back to waiting for her follow-up to Child For Sale.

About two years later, the rumor mill once again reported again that Yvonne Maha had died.

"I thought they said she died two years ago!" I groaned.

"That was just a rumor," my aunt clucked. "She didn't die back then, but she's dead now. This time it's true."

"How did she die?"

"Complications from abortion."

Oooooooooookay.

"And that is why you should not have sex before marriage!"

After that, the "Yvonne Maha is dead" story would resurface anew every few years. And with each new iteration, its peddlers would firmly assure you that yes, this time she really was dead and that yes, she died during an abortion. As recently as 2005 I heard people telling that story.

Well, for the record: In 2007 Yvonne Maha is alive and well and living in Brazil. But the persistent reports of her demise do kind of beg an interesting question: Why did the public seem to so desperately want--almostneed--Yvonne Maha dead? And from an abortion, of all things? And why is it that as years have gone by and Yvonne Maha has receded somewhat in the public's memory, the "death by abortion" story has been passed on to early-90s preteen singer Tosin Jegede? (For the record: Tosin Jegede is not dead, she's a sculptor.)

Could it be that these little girl singers represent purity and innocence, and so the thought of them growing up into womanhood and inevitably engaging in womanly activities such as sexual intercourse is so unacceptable that we must create these myths where their sexual precocity leads to their destruction?

> shrug < Shit, I dunno.

Anyway, if you were a kid in Nigeria in the 80s, you almost certainly know this album inside out. Listening to it now, I'm surprised at how well it holds up for me--I mean, even if twee cutesy-kiddie stuff like this makes your molars hurt, you can't completely front on the music itself, can you? This was the period when Sonny Okosuns could do no wrong and his Ozziddi band was on the way to becoming the Ozziddi brand. The tasteful instrumental performances and production on this album are very much on par with great Okosuns albums such as Fire in Soweto and 3rd World. I remember really loving the backing vox on this record, and they still sound pretty good to me, too.

The song "Don't Treat Me Like a Child" still makes me slightly uncomfortable, too. I used to love this song back in '83, when I first realized that I loved ballads, but even then I thought it was a bit on the creepy side. It was so obviously a ventriloquist number with a grownup putting these supposedly cute/coy words into a little girl's mouth, but what made it particularly discomfiting was the video: Yvonne and some boy sitting on a bench at Apapa Amusement Park, dressed in their best birthday party duds as she serenades him. Both of them look ungodly embarrassed by the whole affair, especially the end where she reluctantly slides over (you can actually see her blushing as she looks off camera at someone who is obviously goading her forward) and hugs him, singing "Wait for me to grow up... Then I will kiss you, too... Then I will kiss you... Wait for me to grow up, then I will love you... too."

And the worst thing about it was that rumor had it the boy was her brother!
- Uchenna Ikonne

Tosin Jegede is still in the news from time to time. Her pictures are available on the internet so we know how she looks today. But with Yvonne, its been hard getting a photo of her online. 

Tosin Jegede as child star and as adult

In my search for Yvonne's whereabouts and how she looks today, I came across this lady on Soundcloud.com who calls herself Yvonne 'Maha' Okolo (probably now married?). Is she the same Yvonne Maha that touched the hearts of all of us back then now fully grown? Anybody that knows should hit me up abeg.

Is the lady on the right Yvonne Maha?

Looking at her face and that of the young girl on the 1980s album, Child for sale they seem to have similar looking noses and smile but i don't want to fully assume until I get a clearer info. 

I know that if Internet existed back then, we'd have enough info but sadly it didn't so we'll have to demand on humans with first hand information.

I'm looking forward to the day we will have another kid like Yvonne who can really sing without their voices being manipulated by music production software to actually sound good; a kid that can sing songs that have substance and not repetition of lame words and worded sound effects all for the sake of commercialization only. As far as I am concerned, Yvonne Maha, Tosin Jegede and maybe Benita where the actual wonder kids of music; Ozzy Bosco being called a wonder kid is only because he happened to be the only one on the scene making noise like many other clueless artistes today. That's why he could win some award and receive a 'chieftaincy' title. The poor boy is just some adult's untalented cash cow.

A Writer's Funny Mail To Me...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, February 03, 2014

I guess one of the 'benefits'of consistent blogging is that some people tend to think you'll be in the position to hire them. Well...if you're a Linda Ikeji, that's very possible, especially when you have a very heavy traffic and you're making quite a good deal of money.

Someone probably thinks I'm as buoyant in blogging as a Linda Ikeji 'cause I got this funny mail from a reader I just felt I had to share. The mail was creatively written and I must confess, I almost wish i could hire him.

Read on...

Hello Sir, my name is *******. I am a professional writer.
I boast such delicious writing skills as I could even write a nun into
falling in love.
With a very fertile brains far from "intellectual menopause", I have given
birth to several books and poems- though they are yet to be published as
I don't have Dangote for a relative (no sponsorship). Yet I boast such hypnotic
writing skills as I could write a DEAF man into buying a RADIO. I am seeking a paid
writing position in your firm ( or if you could please link me with
one); the chances of me not satisfying your clients are as slim as the chances
of OBJ wearing suit.
Sir, I humbly wish you hire me as I boast such mental
sophistication daring enough to win for your firm a Forbes
recognition!  Hire me sir and get hired into a more glittering world
of more fulfillment as I am ready to plant all my nutritious brains
filling your financial barns to the brims. Below are some of my
works.Hoping to hear from you soon Sir.
THANKS.

I laughed after reading this mail. The guy really feels he's very good....I like his confidence. Unfortunately, I'm not hiring for now...heck I wouldn't mind being hired to write myself!

The Last Job

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, November 23, 2013

My guest writer for today is Harsh Tag who wrote this very short yet powerful piece of flash fiction titled 'Last Job'. This story is so poignant that I began to doubt whether it actually is fiction or something that really happened. In fact, just reading it alone makes me want to shoot a short movie on it. Its a touching story with a strong lesson of depth to learn from.

Enjoy!

By the time you’re done reading this, I want you to remember this saying:

“Every saint has a past; every sinner has a future.”

***
My future is long-begun, and when I look at the past, I’m not trying to find absolution. Instead, I hope to find understanding of how the past has led me to this place of love for children; this place of peace; this place of hard work; this place of integrity; this place of piety, where I pray for people – and not judge them.

Armed robbers stormed a home one night, and ordered everybody:

‘Face to the floor! Close your eyes!’

Among the victims were two children – a boy and a girl – whose estimated ages were 3 and 4, respectively.

The job was almost over when one of the robbers felt a hand tugging at his left trouser. He looked down into two bright eyes full of innocence, not fear. The little girl spoke, and her voice shot this robber in the heart:

‘Uncle Thief, Uncle Thief…’

Her parents gasped, sure that their daughter was going to be shot in the mouth. But the little girl, pointing to the little boy, continued:

‘Uncle Thief, see, this one did not close his eyes.’

The macho man with the gun smiled, patted the girl on the head, and walked out of the home spotting two trails of contrite tears.

And that was his last job.

***

God has many voices.

Harsh Tag writes for fun, to stay sane, to stay alive, to laugh, to cry, to impress, to express, to win, to be relevant, to live. He has won a contest or two, have lost many. loves writing, though he studied geophysics, and has worked in a bank, he is presently into IT. He loves to write. You can check out his blog here.

Between Charles Novia's Article & Maheeda's Response

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, November 04, 2013

I have since decided not to write about Maheeda anymore but when I came across this article that Charles Novia wrote titled ‘Maheeda’s Maladjustment’ and was amazed at how the ace movie director practically psychoanalysed this chick’s insane transition from the secular to gospel music and finally to a self-absorbed internet risque artiste, and finally use it to explain the depraving nature of morals in the Nigerian society. The truth he speaks about is undeniable.

I just couldn't resist pulling out parts of the article and commenting on them. Check out these excerpts: 

Somehow, Maheeda started posting suggestive pictures of her body on her instagram page which caught the interest of Nigerian bloggers. Since blogging is generally an acceptable form of lazy journalism and tittle-tattling in Nigeria, Maheeda’s pictures got the desired attention she wanted. Either by a covert or overt payment to leading bloggers to keep her in the news (as it is wont in Nigerian cyberspace) or a calculated ploy to garner more hits to their sites, the bloggers went all the way out with more indulging pictures of the young lady. And she was ever willing to give more and cheerfully too with no intention by me to denigrate her past profession by this phrase.

Very true that blogging has become an acceptable form of lazy journalism thanks to those who carry false information about and just blog news without doing any proper research. I’m not sure about her paying to be kept in the news since most of the bloggers who feature her stuff just steal from other blogs in order to draw traffic to theirs. I believe Maheeda was able to get attention because she had managed to get known through her brief stint in the music industry and the noise about her becoming born again. In today’s sick society, if you were an artiste that stopped going secular and claimed to be born again and you suddenly decided to start stripping online thus contradicting what you claimed to be, you’ll definitely get attention – both good and bad.  

It is instructive to psycho-analyse negative trenders such as Maheeda who have decided to gain cheap or compulsory notoriety by posting pictures of their nakedness on social networks. Granted, there were others before her based in Nigeria or somewhere in America , some older Nanny Goats who threw decorum to the wind as well and posted pictures of drooping breasts and disgusting backsides in a bid to gain unfathomable attention. Did Maheeda learn from them? Or did she decide to improve on their art ( or rather, their tart!)?. 

Maheeda is like a copycat of these three women.
The first two being more prominent.Recognize them?

Hahaha! Was he referring to those 'popular' women who are totally dedicated to polluting the morals of this generation with wanton smuttiness and soft-porn? But seriously, Maheeda shares similarity traits which seemed to have been copied from these women. 

Whatever the reasons are, we all should be worried about this growing trend where shamelessness and wanton exposure of Nigerian women is fast becoming the order of the day. The children see all these things and I shudder to think of what is going to happen in our social space in a few years. A replication or cloning of millions of Maheedas and her likes is probably inevitable.

It already looks like the cloning has actually begun. Maheeda is just a clone of the older ‘nanny goats’ to quote Mr. Novia. 

Oh yes, there are some who would react angrily to the fears I have expressed here and post comments under ‘Anonymous’ name tags on some blogs where this article would find amplification and vilify me and not my points. For such missing links, you are entitled to your putrid opinions in the closets of your anonimity where cowards and bullies find voice.

This message no doubt is for those people who derive pleasure in checking out Maheeda’s pictures and masturbating to them. And its evident that this was one of Maheeda’s aims from a comment she made on her twitter account after her Instagram account was deleted:

“There’s one thing 4sure , thanks to my old Instagram account, my picture is in the hard dicks of men and women’s head, delete that! Haha!‘

 Back to Mr. Novia’s article:

But the fact remains that you who support and urge the Maheedas of this clime to carry on with the de-mystification of all that is dear and sacrosanct womanhood, are no better than she is. You are intertwined in the pugnancy of her putrid purpose. You both are destroyers of the last remnants of the African woman’s mystique and majesty. You support and encourage her to destroy your children’s moral future. That is just the plain truth.

Gbam! I could have said this better! Seriously, let’s think about it – if people were ignoring Maheeda’s dirty pictures and wanton risqué behavior, would she be encouraged to continue? If she wasn’t getting attention she’s enjoying, would she have continued? So she’s not the only one to blame!

I may not know much about psychology or psychosis but I am willing to bet that Mrs Maheeda is in the early stages of bi-polarism. It is possible that she is using the pictures to Jekyll and Hyde her mental health issues. Mercifully, she lives in a Western society where it is only a matter of time where her total sanity would be called to question.

But if Maheeda is not ill, then what is her plan? Is she possessed by a legion of seventy times seven demons after her earlier conversion to Christianity? Or is she just being plain silly? If she is being silly, then the blogs and websites which amplified her silly whims have a moral question to answer.

Another chilling truth! With the contrasting personalities that she has switched into and out of, one is forced to wonder whether she’s mentally ill and has a case of personality disorder. Then the second paragraph above explains a spiritual truth which could be said to be what has happened to Maheeda – the repossession of a back-slid Christian by amplified sin. Blogs and sites that love to feature galleries of her pics are encouraging the farce.

It is not also far-fetched too that Maheeda might be using the naked pictures of herself as a new form of visual prostitution. Selling her body now revamped and refurbished in a new clime, to her former clients as if to call them out. She might be saying, ‘You can’t have this now. I have gone to another level’.

Indeed, she has reached a new level. An all-time low of self-destruction in a gradual process. But knowing the society in which I live and where she comes from, her destruction may be pyrhic: the sick social society would soon invite her to red carpet functions and events. Soon, she just might be signing autographs and strutting societal streets of false adulation.

I guess this may be Maheeda’s aim – to become a popular socialite with a large fan base; just like Kim Kardashian who kick-started her ‘career’ (if you call that a career!) via an infamous sex tape. These are the worst kind of people to peddle as role models to a younger generation.

And what was Maheeda’s response to Mr. Novia’s article? As usual, she so loved the attention that she had to drop four tweets in response. 

I had to laugh when she called Mr. Novia ‘an attention seeker’. As far as I know, Mr. Novia doesn’t need to seek attention; he’s already a force in the industry what with his recent movie ‘Alan Poza’ which is gathering acclaim. Also, from all that Mr. Novia wrote, the only thing that Maheeda could gather was that he was writing about her p***y because he has none…this just goes to show her level of intelligence. And that talk about making a movie about her just cracked me up. What can one get from her lifestyle that constitutes anything but a material for a ‘waka pass' role?

Mr. Novia isn’t the kind of person Maheeda should even confront; he’s a heavyweight in the movie industry with experience that would make her exploit amount to the value of used toilet paper in a restroom.

No need masquerading. The truth is just too bitter for this Chick to stomach.

You can read Charles Novia's full article here.

The Smartphone Influence [Illustrated]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Smart phones...those technical little bastards that have totally taken over our lives on the entire planet. Years back when a mobile phone was a device you carried about in a suitcase, nobody would have thought that in years to come this constantly evolving gadget would soon take over the world. And with the help of social media networks that have bridged the world into one network, everybody has access to any part of the world. But we still can't deny the fact that there's a fast growing addiction to smartphones. 

I had a colleague who did a modelling gig and got paid about 100 grand and the next thing she did was use it to buy a smartphone that cost 98 grand! That sounded so familiar - like a crack addict blowing all his money on his addiction. I'm not saying smartphones are not a good thing; they have their pros and cons. Unfortunately, too many people are stuck on the cons and have become smartphone zombies. 

Here are some hilarious facts and representations of life with smartphones from C-Section Comics and Pablo Stanley on MemeCentre.    

An addict just can't resist the allure of a stupid meme
trending via smartphones

Many relationships may have been complicated by smartphones

Majority of smartphone owners are guilty of this!

Lesson: Never check other people's smartphones
if you don't want to see what you do not want to see.

Smartphone addicts watch less TV and do more phone browsing

Now you see why Cinemas campaign for phones to be switched off during shows?

Some even deliberately decide to take a crap for the sake of
browsing their smartphones

Because goons like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. have taken over...

All on a phone oh! What a way to keep us constantly distracted!

 And this strip is not lying in portraying the possible life of a smartphone addict!

I think books need to come to the rescue...oh, now I'm veering into another subject. That's for another topic, another post. May Smartphones not turn us into complete technical zombies!

Are You Involved With The Right Person?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, September 20, 2013

Someone sent this interesting and enlightening article to me by mail. Good stuff for both single and married folks to get a glimpse of. Read on....

By Bola Osareme

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me   answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.Infact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression.  It  implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even   angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking , "Did I marry the right person?"  And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling .

I couldn't agree more!

What do you think?



image courtesy
www.bossip.com