Merry Christmas....Abi?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, December 25, 2014

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Christmas is actually a time to spend money so that you'll be broke...a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus which doesn't make sense because he was never born on winter...a time that serves as a good excuse to throw parties for no cogent reason but for the fact that its Christmas....a time for children celebrate Santa Clause rather than Jesus Christ...

Talking about that last one - Have you seen Naija Santa Clauses about town lately? They're so horrible. 

Whoever says putting powder (or is it calamine lotion?) 

on your face will make you look like a white man's version 

of Santa? Poor kids, Christmas nightmare

If Santa was gay, then this should be how he should look...abi?
See hips nah...and his skinny awkward legs.
Wait...is that powder or white paint on this one's face too?

to y'all from The Kush Chronicles

You Won't Believe What These Beauties Have in Common [Photo]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, June 14, 2014

Take a good look at the cute ladies in the picture collage.

They all have one thing in common.

Can you guess what that is?

Scroll down if you can't guess...

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Could it be that they all dated the same men?

Nahhh...scroll down....

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Could it be that they are all video vixens?

Errr....nope. Scroll down...

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Could it be that they are all Call girls from the same organisation?

Hmmm....naah! Scroll further....

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Still haven't figured it out yet?

Scroll further!

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You're almost there!

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What do these ladies all have in common?

They were all MEN!

Yep....transgenders!

This is a sign to all guys to be alert and careful with anything that calls itself a woman. They are blurring the lines so well, we are being deceived like dogs to the slaughter.

*Sigh"

Lol...I know you just scrolled back! Unbelievable isn't it?

Photo of The Day: The 'Nyansh' That Drugs Built [Viewer discretion is advised]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, June 05, 2014

If you watch music videos you've seen 'em. If you know Nicki Minaj has curves, you know 'em, if you've wondered how on earth they come to look like that, you've been thought provoked by them. They are the fake assets constructed to mesmerize and taunt; they are not God given but man-made.

They are the 'Nyanshes' that drugs built - artificial bumbums, baroof bakassi, synthetic buttocks....Many amongst men have been decieved by them but one thing I know is that 'if it is not panadol, it is not the same thing as panadol!'  What happens when the nyansh that drugs are building goes wrong? the answer is the photo below.

May it not be the portion of any woman oh! Please stay close to your natural body. There will always be somebody who is crazy about it. Not all that glitters is gold and not all that is inflated by injections remain naturally firm. The picture above is that of a butt injection gone wrong.

Have a nice day!

Signs of The Times 11 [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, June 03, 2014

By now, anyone who follows my series on 'Signs of the Times' will understand that this is a gallery showcase of funny signboards, inscriptions, placards, labels, names and any design be it in print or digital that's just either accidentally or deliberately outrageous and funny. Sometimes, its not the inscription that's funny but the place where its written on. Majority of this collection is from Nigeria. Others would come from other African nations. I usually don't feature those from the western world but in some cases I make exceptions. 

This is the 11th installment in the series. Check them out and please drop your own comment! 

This is a police station? What do they arrest and detain here?
Goats and chickens or humans?

 

No matter how much sell 'oyinbo' groceries to Nigerians,
they will demand to eat their awesome bush menu.
Yes...our bush menu is awesome, oyinbo can never have 'iru' (locust beans)

Men have suffered oh! As if fake nails, hair, eyelashes, skin color etc is
not enough, there is now physically enhanced fake virginity?

They probably meant 'Humus'...costly error. Imagine having a fag for breakfast...eeww

I'd give a thousand bucks to know what's going on in her mind.

You can add sophistication to native naija, but you can't take the bush out of them.
Na Oshoms get Shoprite? Haba!

A blackberry perfume with versace design pattern....
wow, this was definitely designed to sell to stupid people

See how they reduced a whole international designer
into a sweet ontop okrika boxers

The painter must have had too much paraga the night he painted those words

This is either the most embarrassing or humiliating way  to apologize

Abge, which kain political apppointment be this?

Anything wey dey trend must enter entertainment...even if na bad news

Which kind of mindset would make people this gullible?

By their placards you shall know their digital exposure.
Atiku and Tinubu think the hashtag is the naira note symbol

If only this miracle could happen to my comatose blackberry...

I keep wondering...was her name for real or
was she playing a joke on the officials?

This is proof that idiots exist among us...

Wow...the two football clubs have a bread franchise in Naija?
Abi someone dey fool us?

Your typical Naija warning sign accompanied by a curse.

I'd love to know which school this was for....

I hope it wasn't a yoruba movie subtitler that wrote this...

Eh? What is 'Cheaps'? Some revolutional local menu?
Or did they 'chips'?

I don't know what to say about this but it just cracked me up
that I had to put it here! Insane Beyonce fan.

And that's all for now folks. which one cracked up up the most?