The Mutation of the Underwear

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I’m getting tired of having to talk about undergarments…seriously!

But I have to because people don’t seem to realize that we are fast moving into an age where the ritualistic act of wearing undergarments will soon totally disappear and many will eventually be wearing nothing (well that seems to have started already from a post I put up some time ago). We have been lamenting the alarming trend of clothes (especially that of women) that seem to be fast changing from the simple mission of covering ones ‘valuables’ to exposing them, thus accidentally turning all that come into visual contact with them into voyeuristic perverts.

I've always questioned the existence of thongs or G-strings as undergarments and I've gotten rationales that seem to make sense though I still suspect it is also a sinful tool for causing emotional and hormonal havoc to the opposite sex. Well, we just had to live with it; wifey even had some and I must confess that I liked them on her.

I had obviously forgotten that we’re in the last days where things just get worse and worse like in the days of Noah.

I happened to be on Verastic’s blog reading an article that Vera had put up when I saw the thumbnail of another article she had written. It was about a new kind of underwear for men, The weird thing looked like a half-thong or half-brief. They called it the ‘Lateral Thong’.

The Lateral Thong

I can never guess the reason for this abominable conception. I can never even dream of wearing this weird thing. Wifey would think I was nuts and also question my sexual orientation if I showed up in it; I’m sure it was designed by some gay dude. I know women wear G-strings and other kinds of underwear for rationalized reasons by I can’t seem to find any reason why a dude would wear this.  I’m fine with my boxer shorts, thank you!

Reading through Vera’s blog, she made mention of the ‘C-string’ for women being way better than this and there was a link to it.

A ‘C-string’? Which one be that again?

I clicked the link to check it out and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. For those of you who don’t know, a ‘C-string’ is like a G-string minus the ropes, like in the picture below:

The C-String

When I googled it to be sure of what Vera was saying and my screen became a skin display arena as different kinds of photos of ‘places where the sun don’t shine’ under the cup-covering of C-strings filled the screen; I had to close it before someone saw it and thought I was engaging in a perverted act of checking out other people’s nether regions!

If you even saw this underwear from afar (especially if it was black in color), the person would look like she wasn't wearing anything below!

Vera had mentioned it on her blog in regards to women wearing it. To my horror, I discovered on the google image page that there was a version for men! If you haven't seen it before click here to view how it looks. It's a bit too risque to put on my site.

Was that really necessary?

Days later, I was discussing with Wifey over a gist about underwear issues and she laughed and said she had something to show me amongst a set of female undies she was helping a friend to sell. Then she brought out this undergarment that I had to actually ask her several times over again, ‘You sure say this one na ‘pata’?’ – because I couldn’t believe people actually wore such.

This one na pant?

It looked like a G-string in reverse – instead of having a rope, it had a string of beads that went over and underneath your crotch!

I found it hard to comprehend that this was an underwear, it looked like something designed for a woman to masturbate while she walked…uurrggh!

And while my mouth was still ajar in perplexity and my mind struggled to figure how a person would feel comfortable in that, she brought another one which was not new to me – panties with extra butt-pads for women that have no ‘Nyansh’. Though it wasn’t new to me, I had never actually seen a real one (don’t need to, wifey has the REAL thing) except the one I saw on the internet which had a variety of sizes.

Undie with butt-pads (Back view)

Undie with butt-pads (Front view)

Men are seriously being deceived…especially if you are the one who likes your spec of woman to be heavily endowed on her backside (a good reason not to base a relationship majorly on looks).

I remember I put up an illustration in another post way some time ago in which someone had created of the progression of women’s underwear through the ages in which they keep shrinking until they practically disappear.  

I’m beginning to think that prediction is becoming a reality!

Not only are undies disappearing, they are also mutating into weird hybrids.

Additional Images courtesy

www.washingtonpost.com

www.searchingforstyle.com 

www.vajazzling.com

Sleeping 'Beauties' [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, April 27, 2013

Sleep.

We all need it. It is that refreshing exercise where our systems are shut down and rebooted for fresh functionality. If we deny ourselves of it we just might fall one day and give up the ghost.

Sleep is essential to keep us going...its just that it cane make us look ridiculous as well as these pictures prove...

The Fantastic Four. This is probably one of the most
popular sleeping pix combination on twitter

A big belly to add some touch to the ridiculousness

The young shall grow...and they shall also
look weird in their sleep

A sleep can be so enjoyable that you wouldn't notice
a couple of rats napping beside you.

Even plastic chairs can offer some comfort for your back
while your mouth offers comfort for flies

This looks like the kind of expression one has
on his face when scratching his nuts.

No, he wasn't talking, his mouth went ajar when he saw money he couldn't touch in his dreams.

The pillow makes sleep sweeter
and your face wowo-er

Imagine you're dreaming and you're about to fight with
a bus conductor, this is probably how your face would look like.

Sleep is also the best time a concerned roommates can cut your biabia
while taking photos that make you look like a goofball.

Our mouths just have a way of embarrassing us..

Do not try this at home...putting your head
through burglary proof before dozing off.

And you thought it was only alcohol that can
make people look like morons? 

He's a farmer...don't think he can't get tired.

Life is so tough, its hard to close the mouth when sleeping.

Its not easy being a Naija policeman.

Sleep can make you stay in the dumbest positions ...
just look at where each one is pointing his gun.
Na only one person go suffer.

Its one thing to sleep in church, its another
to look like that's what you came to do.

It's an opportunity to arrange a photography
session for you complete with aluminium costume

This photo is becoming so popular on twitter, the sleeper
should be ready to start signing autographs with her spit.

Honestly, I thought that was jar-jar binks from star wars...sleep can be so unfair!

Standing at illegal checkpoints to collect small change is no easy job.
 Let sleeping cops lie.

No, he wasn't closing his eyes while singing from the depth
of his heart, he was snoring from  inner circles of his nose.

What a male cop can do...

No, he wasn't saying that, his snoring just sounded like that.

All work and no sleep makes lady a dull employee.

Have a good nights sleep y'all...whenever you actually go to sleep, that it!

MTN Humiliates Etisalat!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, April 23, 2013

History has been made in the Nigerian telecoms industry again with the availability to switch from one network to another while still retaining the same number.

People have wondered what consequences this would hold for both the telecoms industry and the consumers. Well from the looks of it, the consumers have quite a lot to gain while the telecoms have a lot to do to sustain their subscriber base.

And MTN made the smart move before any other telecom could.

On the day the porting service would kick off (which was yesterday) MTN immediately launched a TV commercial that not only put them in the forefront but landed a HUGE slap on another competitor - etisalat!

Saka & Princess in an old etisalat commercial

If you've ever watched etisalat's past commercials, you'd probably have come across the series popularized by Hafiz Oyetoro also known as 'Saka' in the Nollywood circuit. Saka was prominent in etisalat's SIM registration commercials last year during the period when telecoms were doing promos to get people registered on their networks. In fact, Saka ended up creating more prominence for the network due to his outstanding comedic performances. At some point, Princess, another ace comedian came on the scene as Mrs. Saka.

Unfortunately, despite the frequency of appearance on etisalat's commercials, Saka was never signed on as a brand ambassador; he was only paid per commercial.

This was might have been a big mistake on etisalat's part. If Saka was never signed on fully, he may not be fully bound by any contract.

So when the need for Porting networks was announced, MTN moved in action and swooped in on Saka. And thus the big slap on etisalat.

How humilaiting!

People had become used to seeing Saka on etisalat. Now they will see him singing in the new MTN TVC saying 'I don port oh!' meaning he has switched from etisalat to MTN!

What a way to get etisalat users considering the MTN network.

 The die has been cast...now I'm sure legal skirmishes will begin. But whatever the case, the commercial is out and its getting people talking...and hopefully porting.

Exhumed Corpse of Raped Girl Video - There were Actually Two Girls [Viewer Discretion Advised]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, April 22, 2013

I first got wind of this circulating news via a co-worker on BBM. Apparently this had been going round as the news of a girl that had been gang-raped and buried alive. When I got the link, it led to a website where the video was loaded and the only info was as written below:

‘This is an evil act. Raping a young lady and burying her alive. But thank God for Nigerian army who uncover this evil act after 12 hrs. Girls be warned...mind who you are going out with! Cultism is on the increase among the Nigeria youths....why this killings everyday! God Please have mercy on us’.

Later I was to discover that it had been copied verbatim from Onyejekwe Macdonald’s Youtube page description of the video. This same thing was replicated by other sites and blogs.

It’s a terrible scenario to behold…a naked dead girl, bound at her wrists, blindfolded and gagged being exhumed from a sandy grave which points to the fact that it happened in a beachy area which is what Bonny Island would look like.

The Culprits bringing out the corpse

Apparently from the video, there was another girl which the culprits had also killed but had not buried. From about 2:01 minutes into the video, one of the officers is heard asking;

‘Why didn’t they bury the other one and they buried only this one?’

I’m not sure people watched this video well before reporting it. Many just copy pasted without any useful addition to the report. Then contrary to the report spreading, there was no proof that she was buried alive. The army personnel there speculated that she must have been killed before being buried. For all those who are reporting that she was buried alive, where did you get the evidence? One person in the video mentioned the girl being buried alive but others voiced that she was raped, killed and buried.

The incident happened sometime last year as the Youtube video recorded loading it on the 13^th of October 2012.

I wonder why it’s being dug up so late into this year. I guess the Linda Ikeji needed to upload something that would news-trend…and it worked.

Now open to guests!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, April 22, 2013

I couldn't put this up by the side panels so I decided to make it a post entry.  

If you've got something good to write or art about, mail me let me put it up.

All is subject to screening before I put it up. 

Cheers!

Lady Bloggers of the Week - Okeoghene, Toinlicious, Ay & Daughter of Her King

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, April 19, 2013

I remember I made a promise and I intend to keep it.

And that’s to review some of the blogs that answered the photo quiz titled ‘Who are they?’ which I posted some time back. It was a collection of old photos of celebrities in their baby or younger days before they made it.

Those who got most of the questions were Debby Baro and Okwuchi. Unfortunately, Okwuchi didn’t have a blog registered on her name and I accidentally reviewed a blog she was following instead which happened to be Aisle Perfect. Guess it’s their luck then.

I gave both Debby & Aisle Perfect full reviews while the others – Okeoghene, Toinlicious, Ay and Daughter of Her King - get joint reviews. 

So here we are!

Lets start with Okeoghene.

Okeoghene’s blog greets your eyes with its flowery background motif and transparent thread for the posts. It’s simplicity and arrangement makes it a pleasant and easy blog to read; you have too many items conflicting with your vision. Her  blog looks like some mild and pleasant eye candy. 

Okeoghene’s tagline reflects the issues discussed on her blog – ‘God, Parenting, Family Life and everything in between’. The blog focuses on topical issues that are enlightening as stated on the tagline. She also does one thing which I’ve always stated is important for any blog – she makes use of pictures to illustrate her points and she does select apt ones and equally credit it to source.

My only grouse with Okeoghene is consistency. The blog is not consistent; sometimes an entry can ride for just a month only. Besides that, it’s a nice blog.

Toinlicious

Like Toinlicious’ tagline says, her blog is all about ‘everything from a wondering and wandering mind’. She does a lot of wondering and wandering on her blog posts as she relives her personal experiences as well as share external features.

While her blog adorns a artistic rock star template, it retains a readable simplicity in some of its interesting and precise entries. Toinlicious does happen to have a list of entries which are quite an interesting read and even though she lacks in keeping some consistency on the blog, she has managed to garner online blog awards via friends and tag games. I hope the blog doesn’t die off like a number of other good blogs because it’s becoming characteristic of most blogger’s interest in blogging to wane; hope she doesn’t wander off.

 Ay

The tagline on Ay’s blog tells us she’s on a journey of self-discovery. A smart one which makes the existence of a blog very important.  She gives us points of view on life from the perspective of a upcoming pharmacist.

With a pleasant orange template and eye-friendly font, you get to read Ay’s blog with ease. I guess the colors add to the warmth.

Ay’s love of books (which is obvious from her posts and even her site's url) equally helps enrich her content. From my experience both as a writer and a reader,  I’ve come to understand how reading can influence the way you write; and the more avid you are as a reader, the more you are bound to be expressive and sometimes creative when you blog.

You’ll see this evident in the fact that Ay also does poetry at times. The way I see it, this is one blogger who make an interesting follow…if only she were more consistent with her blogging,

Daughter of her King

From the title of her blog you can tell she’s all about the Lord. Her tagline emphasizes on stages and timing as per living life. DOHK’s blog stands out like an counselor online; one that shares the bits of words of wisdom she has learnt in her own life time. The blog is a personal blog just like the others discussed. Her updates at times come with her own personal pictures which tells us that she’s got nothing to hide and is as open as possible on the blog.

DOHK is practically a teacher because there’s a lot of stuff you can learn from her blog posts; she kind of counsels you and gives answers to a myriad of questions you may have never thought of asking. The richness of her material would account for why the blog posts are not a daily feature on the site.

I only wish she had a nicer looking template. For a blog that’s got rich content, it deserves a better template that would make reading the material more enjoyable. While the present template isn’t exciting enough to make me want to stay glued to the blog, the content keeps me staying there to read.

Keep doing your thing ladies...blogging is cool.

Now I can breathe...I kept my promise!

Blogging Girl Image courtesy

www.zafiranabilah.com

Tribute to My Little Genius [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 18, 2013

You're probably wondering what this post is all about and for most who are not familiar with the face of the little man in the photo, that's A.Y. Yes, that's my little dude whom I call 'The Little Genius', 'Okunrin Meta', 'Ekun Wewe' and 'Baba Kekere'. I gave him these knicknames for certain reasons. 

                               

I call him 'Little Genius' because he's fond of finding solutions to problems by himself; he dislikes being seen as helpless. He even refused to be helped when he tried taking his first steps.

                            

                            

I call him 'Okunrin Meta' (Three times a man) or 'Ekun Wewe' (Small Lion) because he's got guts, does what his sister can't dare, loves to explore everything and takes being serious seriously.

   

I call him 'Baba Kekere' because he's got this baby swag which makes him look 'elderly' when he walks. When he puts on native its further amplified! One of our friends saw him walking that way and said he walks like a 'Landlord'. I initially wondered if landlords had a certain swag but later understood that he was referring to the way he walks - like someone with power and wisdom.

                                

Today is a special day because it marks the day A.Y was born and I'm so proud to be a Dad to the little dude. He has such an independent mind like mine, a load of expressions like his granddad and is said to strut like his great-granddad.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY A.Y.!

MANY BLESSED RETURNS AS YOU STRIKE TWO YEARS OLD!