A Visit from the Weird Ones [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, January 31, 2013

I was at my desk late yesterday afternoon skimming through my twitter account and doing some online research when the door opens and in steps Goldie and Denrele. In case you don't know who they are, Goldie is an recording artiste known for her weird videos and a Big Brother Stargame Housemate while

Denrele is a VJ with Channel O and red carpet host renown for his wild eccentricity.

At first I thought it was a case of the proverbial mountain moving to mohammed because mohammed has refused to move to the mountain - this being the fact that I had been recieving text messages from Goldie's manager to meet with us for collabos and endorsements but I had 'accidentally' ignored the message. Don't blame me, there was no way I could have determined if it was fake or real.

Later I was to find out that it was a visit for the same purpose but aside from the text of which Goldie was not even aware of.

Goldie was somewhat slimmer than what I usually see on TV. In fact when she stepped in, I didn't know it was her until my CEO who had shown them to our office asked me 'Do you know who this is?' That's when it hit me - the matching hair and skin.

Denrele was a trip. I don't know how he does it - he just bonds with everyone he comes across as if they've known each other for a long time. Beneath all the weird exterior is this pleasant extroverted personality that knows how to liven every moment.And he sure had a lot of interesting gist to spill. 

Did you know that the hair on his head is actually his real hair? No weave, no attachment.

We talked a while; Goldie and Denrele sharing their own side of experience, what they could bring to fore and we on what the industry entails and expects. I know this year promises to be an exciting and buoyant year, I just can't place which celerity is going to be involved with us. Not too long ago 9ice was also in our office on a visit too. 

All I can say is let the celebs keep proposing, in due time we'll dipose.

The Abuse of The Next Generation

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Terrified Toddler being tattooed.

I was on Myne Whitman's blog today when I came across this piece she wrote yesterday about a video on youtube which shows a Mom holding down her reluctant toddler as he got tattooed by some tattoo artist.

The sight enraged me.

For goodness sake...a tattoo? Of what value is that going to add to the child's life? Is this brutal branding really necessary?

I was gonna write about something else for today's entry but I just had to vent on this.

Why are people doing crap like this to children? It goes on to show that there's a generation of downright stupid accidental parents out there busy failing at their responsibilities by robbing little kids of their innocence.

The other day I was generally surfing searching for info and came across this African American toddler with conrows, carrying a water rifle like he was getting ready to bust a cap in someone, swearing and spitting out F-words like he was born with it.

Riley from 'The Boodndocks'

The video was tagged 'Real Life Riley Freeman' (A character from the Boondocks cartoon series). This little guy has totally been denied of his childhood by some idiotic gangster  parent with no conscience...or rather just plain ignorant.

And while we wonder at these parenting fails, one of the greatest would be the sexualisation and exploitation of childhood innocence by that abomination of a show called 'Toddlers and Tiaras'. These little children may never know the simplicity of innocent childhood. All has been selfishly hijacked and selfishly manipulated by possessed adults and the glitz and glamour of an evil showbiz venture.

A mother is shown forcing her screaming and trembling 5-year-old
to get her eyebrows waxed  in  the 5th season of the show.
Looks a lot like the first picture above.

According to a wikipedia report, one mother on the show was criticized for padding her daughter's chest to resemble Dolly Parton's and another was criticized for asking her daughter to smoke fake cigarettes on stage!

Yep. That's a frigging 4 year old with a padded chest!

And she smokes a fake ciggy to add finesse.

A shameless mom dressed her daughter on the show
as Julia Roberts' prostitute character in 'Pretty woman'!

                                       

Kids just wanna be kids. They just wanna play...like other kids!

I've always seen child beauty pageants as nothing but a peddling of children's sexuality for budding pedophiles and a desecration of the precious gifts of life God has placed in our hands.

Children have a stage in their lives. Its called childhood. Its the stage when they do all the things children love to do. Why must we microve their future and start getting them to do adult things? Are you parents that do that insane?

Look at the clothes some of our children wear today. I presume they were designed by people who hate the family unit and want to destroy children by all means. I was alarmed during Timi's christmas party at her school when the DJ started playing a mix of songs and I suddenly heard W4's 'La Tan' (Open your laps). I challenged the organizers and they changed it instantly. Some people will think and say its just music and that they (the kids) won't understand. I'm sorry but that would be the most retarded thing anybody that calls himself a good parent would say.I'm sorry but music is more than just 'tunes and vibes' to dance to.

 Music is a WEAPON OF MASS SEDUCTION.

If you don't understand what that is, research on it or check out my post on the strange power of music and know the extent of the damage that's taking place.

Timi after recently loosening her hair.

I have a lovely daughter, Timi, and its cute to see her run about playing kiddy games and being the three year old she was meant to be, not being forced to grow up. I know if she was excessively made up, she'd be stunning but I know she'd also look creepy because its not the right thing to be doing to a child of her age.

I just had to vent.

Hi5's Big Pimping

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I used to have an account on Hi5 years back but after the Facebook bug caught on, I deserted Hi5 and moved on to the Zuckerberg wonder. Today I’m getting weary of Facebook as I began to discover reasons not to so hooked to the social network. I got tired and stopped putting up personal photos and making friends with people I’m really not interested in knowing. Maybe it’s my new obsession with Twitter, coupled with my blog and Naija Stories.

So when I got this funny mail from Hi5 (after several mails intended to keep me on the site which I ignored) I was wondering whether the network was trying to woo me back by pimping pictures of cute chicks at me.

   

The Hi5 trick mail
Click to view larger size

With my experience in advertising I know that sex always sells or draws attention and I’m quite sure that’s the strategy being applied here. Before this mail, I had been receiving notifications from Hi5 to check out new friend requests or updates that I might be interested in. I never replied or visited the site for any of these.

What got me convinced that this was some kind of trick to get my attention was the fact that the subject of the mail said ‘Kush, open this mail for 12 people you should meet’. Then on opening the mail I see ‘Play the Pets game to meet new people.’ Also there's this disturbing line that goes; 'Pets is a game where you can buy and own other people as your pet' And all these ‘new people’ turn out to be pretty ladies; not a single guy among them.

Sounds almost like an escort service if you ask me.

Nice try Hi5.

But I’m not buying it.  

Only in Naija 2 [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, January 21, 2013

People say all kinds of things about our country Nigeria. But if you look at it, our diversity and way of doing things generates so much to laugh at and about. Lighter mood stuff happens everyday and we've come to 'own' these hilarious oddities such that when you're out there on another man's land, you can't help but refer to things like these as stuff that happens only in Naija. Check out these funny oddities I gathered from friends and the internet.  

Only in Naija can you find a 'Kike Sneakers'.
Of course we know where this rip off came from.

Only in Naija do you find children named after food processes.

Only in Naija does a wife cost a fortune.
Every groom's nightmare.

Only in Naija can Amala be the major food on a wedding menu

Only in Naija do shoes and slippers get used past their expiry date.

Only in Naija can you find nutcases substituting Agege bread for birthday cake

Only in Naija do gentlemen become animals when boarding  public transport

Only in Naija does beer have fans like a football club

Only in Naija is a boot a waste of space if its not carrying somebody.

In Naija, wedding rides are never limited.

Only in Naija do traditional Igbo wedding cakes
 wear red caps and pieces of kolanuts

Only in Naija will you find an extra cover inside a bottle of maltina

Only in Naija will fuel scarcity affect the price of a plate of Eba.

Only in Naija do we sell snacks that bare the same name with a sanitary pad. 

Only in Naija do find Pastors that do weird deliverances

Only in Naija do you find cows that are Chelsea fans

 

Only in Naija will women with big behinds always find their pantie size

Only in Naija is a sleepover for life  squatting in higher institution normal

Only in Naija do pit latrines get plastic chair makeovers

Only in Naija can breakfast be hawked on the streets.
e.g Bread and Ewa Agoyin

Only in Naija do people take the weighing of options seriously

Only in Naija will you find people who prefer spoons to straws

The Mystery of Wristwatch Ads

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Every time you go through a men’s fashion magazine, you probably don’t notice it but its there all the time. Even if you googled it you’d  get a pageload of it in its variety. And it’s not recently that it’s been there, it actually has been there dating years back. Many have questioned it and given all sorts of theories. Even with explanations that have been given, people still come up with weird presumptions.

All over google, the dial is placed the same way.

It’s the mysterious reason as to why the dial on almost every advertised wristwatch reads 10 past 10.

As an advertising person, my curiosity was lit when I discovered this phenomenon. Two things came to me as a result: either there was a conspiracy surrounding it or it was a marketing gimmick by the companies advertising the watches.Surprisingly also, it applied to wall clocks as well.

So I went a-searching on what it was all about. There were many answers given all over the internet:

• Some believe that it was the time Abraham Lincoln was shot dead; that his wristwatch had stopped at that time and as a tribute to him every advertised watch is set to 10 past 10. Hmmm…were they already wearing wristwatches in Lincoln’s days? Maybe it was a pocket watch or his wall clock…

• Some believe that it’s a subliminal message that stem from the freemasonry symbolism; that the ‘V’ positioning of the dial is sexually related  - representative of the female vulva of ancient symbolism. Wow…this sounds believeable. 

• Some believe it’s the time the Hiroshima /Nagasaki atomic bombs went off; it is said that all the clocks stopped at that time when one of those bombs went off. Sounds like part of a nice movie plot. 

• Some believe it’s just a victory symbol.

• Some believe that when the first watch was made, it read 10 past 10 and ever since then it’s been advertised that way.

Eventually I got information that explained everything. And the explanation turns out to be a simple matter of aesthetics.

Most Watchmakers believe that 10 past 10 is the most aesthetically pleasing time to display. It is also said that the position reminds people of a smiling face

According to a New York Times article published back in 2008, the wristwatch brand names are generally centered on the upper half of a watch, the hands are positioned at 10 and 2 to “frame the brand and logo,”  

With the little experience I have in photography and my knowledge of advertising, it was easy to put two and two together and fully understand the import of this. Product photography has to be done carefully; there are details you need to check out and this is definitely an example.

The placing of the dial at 10 past 10 dates as far back as 1926, the Hamilton Watch Company being one of the first to do so.

The dial on this Oris wristwatch is placed differently
due to the positioning of its logos.

In the cases where some watches don’t have their dial placed at 10 past 10, it’s simply because of additional functions or secondary dials on the face of the wristwatch which will be obscured by the 10 past 10 position.

It’s also noted that you can still place the dial at 8:20 and still have your logo or info in view but the placement of the dial would look like that of a sad face.

The Missing Bliss in Today's Marriages

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, January 11, 2013

It seems marriage has become a child's play nowadays. Today its becoming a normal thing for couples who believe they can't get along to call it quits. Many reports say they split amiably or over irreconcilable differences. These and a lot of other funny reasons are played up as the reason for heading to splitsville.

All I can say is that too many immature-minded people seem to be heading for the altar nowadays. Also, many people tend to build their marriages on the wrong foundation. This is one of the major reasons for many failing marriages.

One thing I've come to understand over time is that anything that will come out good will have to undergo the test of time. It is how you fare under these tests that will determine how solid the foundation of your marriage is and thus whether it will last or crumble.

The test can occur from many angles and through various factors. I won't list the factors because I know different factors can be peculiar to different marriages. But I can share a few of my own.

I know that my loyalty to my wife is always tested by one particular factor which is the temptations one faces at work.

Sure, work place temptation is one factor that is peculiar to everybody (with all the infidelity and scandals happening in offices) but in this case, the temptations at my work place are somewhat amplified because I handle tasks that require dealing with beautiful models...and God help me if I end up meeting a desperate one. 

Despite this, I have remained true to my marriage simply because of the foundation it is built on. Everyone has their own preferred type of foundation for their marriage. All that matters is if your foundation can hold strong enough for everlasting marital bliss. 

We should never forget that marriages always need re-invention to keep the bliss going. If your marriage ends up being a boring co-habitation with a partner, then it's the fault of both of you. You need to do things that will keep sparking up the flame that keeps the relationship vibrant. There may be days when you are down but you never stay down forever, you get up and do something about it. And that's because you are both responsible to yourselves.

I came across this beautiful and touching video online which is an adaptation of a popular story that has been circulating the internet for a very long time. The story borders on the danger of not being responsible to your marriage and to your spouse.

After watching this heart rendering video, I couldn't resist dropping the following words on twitter:

Apparently, Wifey saw the tweet and was blushing when I got home, she was heavily flattered. She cooked extraordinary good food for me that night.The things good and sincere words can do to a woman!

I won't go into details of things you can do to ignite your relationship; that's for you to figure out since every relationship is peculiar; what may work for Couple A may not work for Couple B. After seeing the above video you should be able to decide what you can do to ignite the love and fun in your marriage.

Trust me, this video is worth the watch.

Images courtesy:
www.Picturesof.net
www.shutterstock.com

Can a Heartbreak Kill? - The Freddy E Questions

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, January 08, 2013

I remember way back when I first asked a girl out in high school. It took me weeks to get myself together and summon the courage to walk up to her and talk to her. You know in those days 'toasting' was what we called it when you wanted to ask a girl out; and the lines in those days can be kind of lame. Most of what gets you into a relationship then was either your daredevil or bad boy nature, not much of lines. Lines where a necessary cliche. you use them with courage, you get lucky; you don't, you get an 'isho' (a slang then for rejection).

I had walked up to her class that evening (school had closed and the classes were almost empty). She was the only one in the class, probably reading a book. A friend of mine had told her somebody wanted to see her so she waited, anxious to know who it was.

Yewande (I still remember the name clearly) watched me as I walked into the class. I greeted her, she responded back. I introduced myself and told her that I had been admiring her for a long time and would like to know her more.

She looked at me from head to toe, taking in my carefully ironed school uniform shirt, shorts and kerosine-polished rubber sandals and gave it to me smoothly. She told me thank you that she was not interested and would never ever be interested in somebody like me. Her sarcasm hit me as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water harshly against me. I had suffered a lingering crush over this girl for weeks and had been mentally rehearshing and dreaming of ways I could be her guy. Now I'd summoned the guts and gotten gutted by her cold rejection.

The days that followed were harrowing for me. 

I stayed clear of her and her friends because I knew she would gist them of what happened. If I saw them along my way, I would change route and pass another direction. But I wouldn't escape it for long.

I sat in class on one of those days when we had free periods in a chat with one of my friends and still smarting badly each time the thought of the rejection crossed my mind when one of the bad boys of our class stepped up to the chalkboard and inscribed on it:

'Afro weds Yewande'  

I felt like the ground should open up and swallow me. I had hoped it wouldn't become public but for this guy to put it on the board meant people knew. This was something I wanted to keep secret but with the chalkboard incident there was no way it would stay public; people began to ask questions and before you knew it, it became widespread news that Afro toasted beautiful Yewande and got a hot 'isho'.

I suffered.

Everywhere I went on the school grounds it seemed so many had heard my story. Its amazing how silly things make news in high school. I was so embarrassed, I descended into a psychological pit of self-loathing and self pity; I hated everyone, even the ones who were supposed to be my friends made serious jest of me. I became a recluse; I despised school and longed for vacation away from the boarding house.

I just didn't have the emotional strenght to handle it all. It was my first move at a girl and my first rejection.

But I never ever contemplated suicide because of this.

Several rejects and dumps from relationships later...I still never contemplated suicide. And thank God I never did because I changed later; first for the worst then for the better, but that's for another story.

I'm writing this concerning the sad news that hit the internet this week over the suicide of rapper and Youtube sensation - Freddy E.

Freddy E

I'm not a fan of his but the circumstance behind his suicide was what got me irked - that he shot himself because his girlfriend dumped him!

It's disturbing because that's really the silliest reason to end your life. The girl na god?

It got me curious and I decided to find out who this Freddy E guy really is and what would drive him nuts enough to take his own life.

After checking him out on his Youtube channel, I was irked.

This guy is talented! And he's got gazillion reasons to keep living! Not only is he good at the Spoken word but also one hell of a comic. His Youtube channel JERKTV has 

If he really killed himself, how come nobody saw it coming? Was he so secretive with his relationships and other stuff?

And then some questions surrounding his death are begging to be answered; questions from me of course. Take for example the news surrounding his death. Majority are assuming it was suicide but some are still reporting it as 'Suspected' or 'Apparent' suicide.

Old pic touted as recent one

Then, there's a picture of Freddy holding a gun to his head being tweeted all over twitter as the last photo he took before he pulled the trigger which is untrue. The photo was actually an old photo from one of his video clips! The actual last pic he posted was of him and his friends taking drink shots at a bar or club.

He was reported by Dailymail.co.uk to have sent a text to Honey Cocaine, (the girl he apparently died for). The text said 'I feel everyone is out to get me'.

Details surrounding his death are not clear. All we hear are just the fact that he has committed suicide. This makes the whole thing sound fishy.

Could it be that Freddy E was 'silenced'?

Freddy with one of the fan undies and fan mail

Because if you look at it, this guy had a huge following on his Youtube channel, he had fans all over the place, a lady even tattoed his name on her butt and instagrammed it; others mailed their underwear to the guy (these female fans are insane!). His twitter page has over 100,000 followers. Tthere was a lot going for him and suddenly, he ends his life just like that? 

Sounds a bit awkward.

It reminds me of a lot of artistes who have died mysteriously in the past. Did Freddy just make that list?

Notice anything awkward in this posted info?

The suicidal tweet. Some things don't seem to add up well here.

Because I've noticed from his channel that he's made some 'eye-opening' conspiracy videos that I know may not go down well with some people in some places; for example, his video that showcased the KONY2012 campaign as questionable and a rip off aimed at conning the public, or the deep spoken word video titled 'Ignorance' which questions the status quo and ignorance of the public

Whatever the case, I'm still doubtful of the fact that this guy actually killed himself.

May he rest in peace.