That Dirty Nigerian Vagina Song By Princess Vitarah

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, March 01, 2016

I used to say it all the time that the internet or rather social media is where you can easily amp up yourself to become popular provided you do something very different from the usual bandwagon of activity you see every day.

The only problem with something different is that it goes both the ways of good and bad. Unfortunately according to modern day tenets of public relations in entertainment, there’s no such thing as bad publicity which means that anything controversial or fresh thing you do that creates a buzz, be it good or bad will always boost your popularity.

Rebecca Black

We have numerous case studies that have proven this - like Rebecca Black who launched her debut song and video, Friday on Youtube in 2011 and got negative feedback as the song was reputed to have stupid lyrics, autotuned, recorded and arranged on a well-orchestrated beat. But not even the beat could save the stupid lyrics. She got so much negative publicity that made her popular and turned her into an overnight celebrity.

Vic O

Okay let me even move closer to home and reference someone from Nigeria – Vic O. He is that so-called artiste who everybody knows by now and his popularity is gathered from the negative publicity he has received due to the nature of his vocal delivery and his music. If you don’t know Vic O, you need to check out his videos and songs to know what I’m talking about.

Now moving on to the reason for this post – American based rapper, Princess Vitarah recently released a music video on Youtube titled Nigerian P*ssy.  She even included the lyrics to the song in the video description area. The song, as the title already precludes, is explicit and talks about nothing but the vagina, particularly the Nigerian Vagina (Hian! I feel weird talking about this). It equally berates its Ghanaian counterpart.

Princess Vitarah in the video

I must confess that I was caught off-balance by this video. In a world where we are still trying to live with controversial figures like Maheeda and Afrocandy who are fond of shocking us unexpectedly with risqué material, Princess Vitarah springs up with this lewd presentation of rap music that’s reminiscent of the likes of Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda.

Thank God the video did not show nudity or suggest it in anyway as that would have exploded to another level. Some people have started placing her in competition with Maheeda which I don’t think is necessary as Maheeda ‘shows the lewdness’ while Princess Vitarah ‘Speaks the lewdness’. Those are two different things.

Going through her Instagram/Youtube page, I could see that she had dropped two other videos before but probably never gotten all that popular until this controversial one that is catching attention like wildfire. The reactions to her video are mixed; many are condemning her on social media for doing such, others are commending her and somewhat feeling the song.

I wouldn’t commend this because I see it as an attempt to just blow by any means irrespective of whether it’s good or bad. I see this as what desperate artistes do when they’ve run out of options – like the way they do with music videos today when there’s no tangible concept; just have women twerking while the main act sings and cavorts about.

Who did this to this kid? He's everywhere in this rotten song

Watching the video, I noticed a white kid wearing a T-shirt with something like ‘Nigerian’ written on it was dancing all about . What the hell is a little kid doing in this video that’s glorifying the lucrativeness of the female genitalia? This boy who was barely into his teens (probably 5 or 6 years old) was in most of the scenes, especially the opening scene as though he was some kind of special eye-candy. I was forced to scream out on the Youtube comment page in the fashion of the popular Vine/Instagram meme ‘WHERE’S YOUR MOTHER??

That white guy who\s happy about Nigerian Vagina...

There's also this white dude that was doing a background dancer (or is it a waka-pass?) in dark shades and danshiki who ecstactically choruses the part that says 'Naija P**y is the tightest' as though he was a part of some insane occultic orgy experience. Why was the focus on him more than those other black dudes goofing around?  Me suspects that kid is his son - can someone say PARENTING FAIL?

There’s no way this is getting played on Naija airwaves,  I can bet my life on it! It’s gonna remain on the internet only. It’s just too raw and dirty for the general public. One thing for sure is that its going to end up on Worldstarhiphop for sure. That's where explicitly amusing stuff like this end up.

The video is not spectacular anyway and was obviously low budget - if there was any budget at all. If I muted it and just watched the visuals, I wouldn’t be ‘wowed’ and would never have imagined that it’s talking about the female private part. In terms of her ability to deliver lyrics, Princess Vitarah sounds way better than Vic O. She has potential but she obviously doesn’t have lyrics. Too bad she went this route because once you start like this, you have to keep doing it to stay where it’s getting you. And believe you me, the juice eventually runs out.

If you want to see the video you can go watch it on Youtube. There’s no way I’m embedding that risque song on my page.

Pants Down

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 18, 2014

[- Warning: For Matured Readers Only! -]

On a busy Friday morning, when most employed persons were hurrying to finish off work for the day so as to be free on time for promises of the weekly TGIF (Thank God it’s Friday), Lara Benedicta Aihkomu catwalked smoothly into the air-conditioned office complex of a renown multinational company like a suspicious omen on a mission to spring up strange surprises.

Her powerfully obvious appearance created a stir.

She wasn't an unfamiliar face but today her look was downright unfamiliar.

From her well treated long flowing hair which nestled gracefully about her shoulders to her expertly made-up round, dimpled face.

From her artfully outlined eyes to her sensually beckoning well painted lips.

From her red body-tight mini gown designed to beautifully highlight her cleavage, enhance her full derriere and present a mind blowing expose of silky creamed legs, to the classic Prada high heels that made every female in the lobby churn with envy. She looked glamorous in every sense; dressed to stun every beholder into oblivion.

A powerful and pleasant perfume scent topped her bodacious menu and held many spellbound as they watched her she pass by.

She sauntered through the main hallway reception, rode a lift to the 6^th floor and headed for the lobby that housed the different offices of senior management.

Men ogled; some whistled, others gave smirks and lustful gasps of admiration.

Women sized up her look in their mind and mentally digested it; a gossip topic that would trend was ideating all over the place.

She made her way through the lobby reception of the adjoining management offices.

Someone noticed her and buzzed someone else on an intercom.

As she walked towards the main reception of the office she was headed, its receptionist, a conservative looking short lady who had been on the intercom before she walked in, dropped the intercom’s receiver and voiced a greeting, stunned at her look.

Lara mumbled a reply as she walked past the receptionist and three guests who were waiting to see the Brand Manager.

The guests were about protesting but the receptionist pleaded with them making them realise that Lara was an important person that had exclusive rights to enter as she liked.

She watched Lara go into the Brand Manager’s office and feared the worst.

Ben quickly dropped the intercom and looked up as Lara stepped into his office. At first he didn't recognize her until she smiled at him. The realization rattled him, almost toppling him off his chair.

He had never in the last three years seen his wife look like that. He had become accustomed to her usual boring wardrobe of boubous, cliché native wear and abstinence from any form of facial make-up.  

''Sweetheart...what...is this...I don't understand....why are you...?'' Ben lost his words. Lara's look was just too much for him to take in.

She said nothing but just stood there in front of his desk looking and smiling at him. Then she placed both hands on his table and bent forward, her ample bosoms in full luring view, taunting his sexual sanity.

'Hi darling, how's work?''

''Work is f...fine...but t…that doesn't answer my question...''

''Oh...you wanna know why I'm looking like this?'' She ran her hand slowly over her body.

''Y…yes. What’s the occasion?'

She gave a mischievous smirk and walked round his desk coquettishly as though she was about to do something naughty to him.

Then she dropped her purse on the floor and bent down to pick it while backing Ben. It seemed like a calculated move but whether it was or not, it had a powerful effect on her husband. The sight of the lower areas of her full rounded butt and slight show of red lacy panties set Ben’s nether regions on fire.

‘’Do you like what you see honey?’’ Lara cooed standing up again still backing him.

He reached out in dazed state to grab a handful of her butt but she slapped his hand away. His face flushed over with embarrassment.

‘’Ýou still h…haven’t answered my q…question.’’ He managed to say in between the waves of belittlement.

‘’Is that why you’re stuttering? Am I scaring you ….” She gave a naughty chuckle as her voice dropped into a husky naughty drawl, ”…or am I turning you on?”

Ben found himself in an instant quandary; a cocktail of emotions – confused, nervous and seriously turned on. Why was she doing this to him?

Her eyes locked onto his from a distance as she reached under her gown and swiftly yanked off her red lacy panties. She spun it round her index finger then threw it at him.

He caught the underwear which was damp with her essence, sniffed it and felt a thunderous ache inside his trousers. He stood up behind his desk, eager to throw decency into the winds. She seemed to get the message from his action and smiled sweetly at him. She cat-walked slowly to the door and locked it before coming back to the front of the table and leaned over it.

‘’You want me so bad, don’t you?’’ She cooed at him, tugging at the hem of her cleavage area.

He could only give a frantic nod. The lump in his throat aggravated by a sudden libidinous surge had stifled his capacity for speech.

“Ýou would love to take me right now on this desk wouldn’t you?’ she said or rather moaned. The sound of her voice at this setting was driving Ben nuts. He struggled to contain himself by smiling and nodding slowly.

“You would like to bend me over explore me inside out and fill me with all that ‘thick’ goodness hanging between your manly legs, wouldn’t you?” She had climbed the table, crawling across, brought her face close to his and breathed the words into his right ear.

Ben felt his breathing pacing up; his temple throbbed with the raging pulse building within his entire being.

“You’d love to lick me…touch me…”

“Yes baby…yes…yes!” He didn’t even let her finish before spitting out his craving desire. He was no longer thinking from between his ears but from between his legs.

She chuckled mischievously, turned about and crawled back across the table. Ben lunged forward to grab her pant-less behind but was not fast enough. He almost passed out from heated passion watching the nakedness underneath her gown moved away from his reach. He began fondling with his belt, not caring about the dirty secret he was hiding in the restroom.

Lara came down from the table, picked up her purse, opened it and pulled out a black semi-automatic handgun.

He stopped fondling with the belt on seeing the gun.

She kissed and caressed the gun’s barrel as though she wanted to fellate it then pointed it at him. Her face suddenly changed; the slutty/horny/seductive expression she had worn on her face all the while was suddenly replaced by a deadly cold stare.

Ben’s heart skipped several beats so much that he thought he was about to have a heart attack. He never saw this coming. A strong wave of fear and guilt enveloped him. He felt his erection dissipate fast.

‘’Lara, w...what is the m...meaning of this?’’ He retorted, the alarm quaked his voice.

”Sit down.” She said, supporting the gun with both hands; her eyes fastened fully on him.

”Lara...w...what are y...you doing with a g...gun?” Ben felt sweat that had never been there before break out under his clothes. Not even the air-conditioning could help at this point.

‘’You’re a fool Ben! A low-life scum of a husband!”

“Ehn…wha…?”

Compared to her angry outburst, Ben’s response sounded small and guilty.

“You think you can cheat on me, your wife of seven years and get away with it? You think I don’t know why you come home late? You think I don’t know about your so-called ‘official trips’ which are nothing but trips in between some bitch’s legs? And now you see me looking like this; like one of your office whores and you want some of me? Oh, so now you can see what you’re looking for in them in me? You’re a damn fool!’

By now Lara was trembling as rage consumed her and tears fought for release around the circumference of her eyes. Amazingly, she looked more beautiful in this intensified fit of rage; her breasts bounced with every angry demonstration, her lips were a delight to watch as it mouthed insults and invectives. Why had he never noticed how enchanting she could be? How could he not have seen this in his wife? Ben felt his erection awkwardly build up again.

Lara stopped talking and just stood there, eyes locked angrily unto her unfaithful husband’s, breasts heaving as she panted gently. Tears trickled down her eyes leaving make-up skid-marks down her dimpled cheeks. Gradually, she relaxed and until she was able to talk again.

“And that’s why I’m going to kill you.”

Ben’s erection suddenly became as limp as a ramen noodle so fast he thought he had auto-castrated himself.

“Lara please! Don’t do this…I’m so sorry…it won’t happen again…” He crashed to his knees begging for his life. He had read about instances like this in the papers and social media, instances that ended in one spouse killing the other due to acts of unfaithfulness. He had never imagined it would someday happen to him – that he would be the one to stare at death in the face.

His life suddenly flashed before him; all he would never get to do; the children he would leave behind, his parents, siblings, his investments….the more they flashed before him, the more he didn’t want to die. He begged for his life.

“Lara stop this please…think of the kids…think of Mama…”

“Shut up!”

Ben felt tears sting his eyes. He let them fall hoping the sight would touch Lara. Unfortunately for him, she ignored them.

“Good bye sweetie!”

She levelled the gun towards his face, her finger encircled the trigger.

“Nooooooooooooooo!” Ben screamed in horror as she squeezed the trigger thrice…

.....The End?

Cheater's Choice

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Packaged breasts

Showcased skins

Endless legs

Merciless minis

Questioning butts

Answering thighs

Now showing for viewing pleasure

Ruining the essence of decency

Awakening urges from complacency

Endangering the purity of innocence

Conjuring waves of erotic presence

Still, responsibility is to be

The choice made by the temptee

Some see but don’t look

And thus remain safe by the book

Some look because they saw

And thus broke purity’s code and law

Ventured on a skirted quest

Ravaged breasts

Caressed skins

Tired legs

Discarded minis

Querying butts

Suffered thighs

Enraptured lust of damning interest

Explored valleys of wet sin

Scaled mountains of hard peaks

Sailing seas of forbidden ecstasy

Awoken to the moment of truth

Wallow in throes of a throbbing conscience

Been where you shouldn’t

Done what you shouldn’t

Temptation’s victory

Your shameful defeat

Infidelity claws depths of the flesh

Spirited in filth that’ll never wash

Only by redemption

Graced by salvation

For the moment

While sinfully incumbent

Stew in transgression

With self loathing aggression

All because…

Just because…

The choice to look what you saw

The choice to break the coded law

 ©Afronuts 8/7/2013

 

Much Ado About Basketmouth's 'Controversial' Joke

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, January 06, 2014

The life of a celebrity is definitely not a bed of roses as many think. Everything you you do is basically in the limelight and you dare not misbehave, misyarn or do something that can stir controversy; one step in any of those directions will not only have tabloids after you but social media, blogs and enraged fans cyber-hacking your butt for making an error.

Ace comedian Basketmouth recently went under fire because of a so-called 'costly joke' he made on Facebook. I was intrigued by the news of him being attacked on social media over a bad joke because Basketmouth is not known to frequently end up on the bad side of the media; I've always seen him as one of the most careful celebrities who takes care not to get into some scandal or media rubbish. 

After reading the joke it got me wondering; na the first time people dey read this kind joke? The joke was not a new thing and I've read something similar from some other comedian. Besides, whenever did a joke become an advice? This is not the first of its kind. Basketmouth is what I call a 'social realist comedian' - that is, a comedian who paints true life happenings in hilarious manner. While laughing at the humor of the joke, you also grab a fact or two. 

The so-called 'costly joke'

Rather than bicker about the tragedy in the joke, I expected people to laugh, learn and realise that this is very much a startling reality that should make every woman be cautious with any boyfriend she's dating. The joke juxtaposed what usually happened in the dating scenario between two different races and he was VERY REAL about it.

Basketmouth eventually apologized on twitter (a very matured and commendable move for the sake of image) but I love what twitter user @now_PokerFaced said on the issue in his/her tweets below:

People should take time to think before they go all out and blast any comedian over a joke. A joke is a means of creating a lighter mood over serious issues and are not meant to be taken seriously. What about the jokes where comedians make direct fun of audience or other celebrities? There is a silent mantra that everything  said should never be taken seriously (Some comedians -including Basketmouth, always reiterate this). If we should be attacking jokes this way, then majority of the Akpos jokes, and Naija tribal lampoon jokes on the internet used by other comedians (either real or parodied) should be taken seriously, abi? 

People should wake up and stop making a Tsunami out of a drop of water, biko!

Sex on a Cake - All for Iyanya [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, November 01, 2013

Yeah...its all over the media that Nigerian artiste and project fame winner, Iyanya celebrated his birthday by visiting Ikoyi prisons and having a groove time with inmates. He was said to have even promised to build a recording studio for promising inmates with music talent.

That was the heartwarming part. Nice PR!

However the 'ewo!' part would be Iyanya's birthday cakes!

First they sent in this one which was naughty in the way the artiste was featured on it.

Then they later sent in this one which was waaayyy explicit!

Haba!

And written on the cake is the line from his raunchy song - 'All I want is your waist'.

We talk about the fact that the world is getting more rotten by the day and we see it reflected in music, movies, lifestyles and fashion. Now its reflecting in our food too.

I've seen a lot of questionable naughty cakes posted online and most came from the western world where sick sinful natures are at their max. But now its becoming a trend in Naija as well. Was it not some posts away that I was talking about a cake that had underwear design on it for another celebrity?

So how would the eating of this sexually explicit cake be like? Who would consume the couple on the bed? (If they are consumable).
But seriously, this is not a good image for Iyanya. I'm no fan (Heck, I'm never anybody's fan) but this is way too extreme.

I don't know why his manager had to do this; its branding Iyanya wrongly.

He could have at least done something more tasteful like the cake Tolu Oniru (Toolz) got for her birthday.

I believe there are other creative ways to make a cake look good just like Toolz' cake. Unless...this was a deliberate attempt at sexually branding Iyanya.

Oh well...I'm just voicing my own. I know his fans, especially the females will dig the cake.

Nollywood And The Sexploitation of Women

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Women.

They are a very important necessity to life in today’s society; either be it for good or bad. You can never underestimate their value and importance.

They are the reason why a man can pro-create his likeness, they are the attraction that’s designed to soften the hard core of a man’s heart. They wield the ‘kryptonite’ that would make every strong, bold and powerful man fall to his knees.

They are the reason why many are wealthy and the reason why many are poor.

They are the reason why many rise and also the reason why many fall.

They are the ones that bring forth a man’s sweet side and also the ones that conjure his innate violence.

They are the ones who can enslave a man and also the ones who can submit to a man.

They are the mothers, wives, lovers, friends that make good things happen. They can also be the whore, nag,  fraud, mistress that make bad things happen. 

It all depends on which perspective they operate from.

And the world in its vain and infamous glory has found a way to exploit women, most especially for one of the most powerful weapons that they carry – their sexuality.

Switch on any music channel on cable or on TV. They are there in their youthful exuberance being exploited via the reckless flaunting of their vivacious bodies; video vixens shaking every element that palpitates the sexual heartbeat of any male that dares to glare at their movements. 

The music artiste that lacks creativity has come to find them to be the key element to boost viewership of his music video on air. They are the eye candy that any man extra-fond of the female gender can neither resist nor gainsay. This has become the norm; creativity is going extinct as smut and sexuality is being touted as imagination. While the music industry in the western world has overblown the exploration and sexploitation of women in their videos and moved on to showing scary esoteric visuals, Naija has firmly embraced of the art of flaunting the feminine gender as sex eye-candy in videos.

The title is the same, the game is the same but the language is different.

And just when the glass cup of the Naija music scene was foaming and frothing over with sexual exuberance, Nollywood decided to up its ante by exploring the idea of amplifying it further.

Sure, men are also involved but a man doesn’t pull in as much ratings as a nude or half clad woman on a DVD cover. But it’s not even only about manufacturing misleading DVDs covers but now about shooting movies that focus entirely on women and sexcapades or using risqué scenes of a flick to sell movies.  

Nollywood Chick Flicks: so many things in common.

Currently, the trend has spread across Nollywood and we can see it oozing from the numerous movie posters about video clubs and movie shops. Movie producers have now delved into all kinds of productions of these Naija chick-flicks most of which have storylines surrounding a clique of scandal-minded or adventurous young women. To push the edge, sex scenes have become more graphic and pronounced in many of these flicks (I wrote stuff about this some time ago).

The trend has blown out so much that even our Ghanaian counterparts have also caught the bug and churned out their own chick-flicks as well. Oh, did I mention that Yoruba Nollywood also has a big share in this trend? Oh yes…and it’s never stopped escalating.

While these chick-flicks may draw the attention of women for the fact that they can relate to the issues reflected in the movies, the men are drawn by the vivacity of women displayed in the movies. Have you noticed how the costumes are usually extremely flashy? The ladies in these chick-flicks a lot of times are not just dressed to kill, they are dressed to mutilate.

Chick-Flicks exploiting social media and trending names

Each time I see any of these movies I watch how the camera shots visually harass the actresses – focusing on their ‘arsenal’ at naughty angles, accentuating them in ways that could turn a celibate priest into a hypocrite. Even in love-making scenes, the focus most of the time is on the woman. I can only conclude that producers or directors are out to make sure they exploit every avenue of exposure as much as they can.

No wonder almost every chick-flick has age rating ‘18’ on them – another way of saying ‘watch at your moral detriment'.

Yoruba Nolly representing.

Another paramount trend is the cheesy and naughty titles of many of these movies.  Even the titles appear to be a cheap exploitation on the female gender. You see smutty titles like; Vain Girls, Sexy Girls, Hot Girls, Angolo Girls, Tattoo Girls, Airline babes, College girls, Lagos girls etc. Some also exploit social media, famous and infamous brand names to hype their flicks. You see movies with titles such as; Fazebook Babes, Omoge Facebook (Yoruba counterpart),Twitter babes, 2go Babes, Obama Babes, Blackberry Babes, Bold Five Babes, Brazillian Hair Babes, Aso-Ebi Girls, Illuminati Girls. From the Ghanaian stables comes others like; Azonto Babes, Perfect Girls, Government Girls, Bigger Ladies. The Yoruba offers its own share with movies like, Omo ghetto (Ghetto Babes), Omo Gucci (Gucci Babes), Awa Obinrin (We the women), Gbogbo Bis Gees (A spin off idea from Funke Akindele's Jenifa which refers to high profile chicks) . It seems the words ‘Girls’ and ‘Babes’ have become a recurring decimal in this trend. 

Ghanaian Chick-Flicks

Some flicks have however managed stay clear of using the now cliché qualified-gender titles and have gone the way of other cheesy titles like Private Part, Girl’s in the mood, Mama and the Girls, Girl Connection, All My Ladies etc. The list is almost endless.  

It’s a vicious cycle that doesn't seem to have any end in sight; there’s a bandwagon that’s carrying ambitious producers in its wake and they keep churning out more and more of these kind of flicks every day. The appalling thing about them most of the time is that the titles don’t have much or nothing at all to do with the story lines.

But this is not to say that Nollywood is on a total regression. I have come to differentiate Nollywood productions into two classes  - like it or not but it has become evident that Nollywood movies can now be categorized into the High budget productions (A list productions)and the Low budget productions (most of the time referred to as B-movies in the western movie circuit). Some fall in-between and fare well in quality but those that fall in the B-movie range can be classed as the productions pursued by Alaba Market based producers. The desperation of this class of producers has driven them to explore sexploitation themes. 

As of three years back, Nollywood's advent into shooting sexually graphic scenes caused so much commotion and many decried it. Today, they have gotten more adventurous with it and even explore more sensitive themes that would leave many aghast.  And to add salt to injury, some well known actors and actresses who may have been faced by the threat of irrelevance in the industry are taking up challenges to feature in graphic flicks. 

In a world where there are movements fighting for the emancipation of womenfolk from various forms of abuse, this is one form that may not get much leverage because of the many factors involved. Many ladies in question would willingly not mind getting paid for being exploited as the mind-set of 'using what you have to get what you want' reigns supreme. The threat of poverty and financial lack is equally a motivating factor.  

And so what next? What will Chick-flicks look like in the next few years to come? Is it going to get worse? Is the degradation of women going to get worse? 

I sincerely wish I could predict that.

Getting flogged 24 Strokes for illegal 'Straffing' [Photo]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Somewhere within the Low cost Housing, Abaganaram ward, Maiduguri, Borno State, Nigeria, a man simply identified as Mallam Sanusi was given 24 strokes of cane for allegedly sleeping with an unmarried lady. The young man was accused of fornication which the community said was against its practices.

There seems to be no report of any punishment being meted to the woman involved. Did she get away with it? In some other vicious communities, women get stoned or killed. If this community only deals with the men, then women are darn lucky.

The thought of it actually got me wondering...what if there was a law that required fornicating offenders to get flogged when caught in the act?

Then we'd probably see a lot of public beatings.

Some 'jealous' individuals might even turn it into a lynching episode and we'd have series of Aluu-like cases in our hands. Even the international community would descend heavily on the matter.

Professional fornicators would operate underground. All those meeting of boyfriends and girlfriends at street corners at night would have to be taken to more darker and hidden abodes because there would probably be night patrols seeking to catch secret fornicators.

Blackmail activities would trend as photos and videos of fornicating activities would become hot cake for hustling huge sums of money.

Suicide rate would skyrocket as many would find it hard to face the shame. At the same time many would proudly bear the scars of fornication, parading them as trophies of the conquests of their adventure.

It would probably even degenerate into something naughty ladies would admire in a guy; a case of 'show me your scars and I'll know what you're capable of - as though it were a resume outline.

People would start illegal businesses of offering their apartments at a fee for illegal fornicating activity while there's a lookout for security.

Professional 'floggers' who do the flogging would make money from a lot of bribes being offered to lessen intensity of flogging. Other officials involved would also get bribed often with cash. Those who preferred being bribed in 'kind' would sometimes end up being blackmailed for the same offence.

Aristos, sugar mummies and daddies, pimps and prostitutes would probably operate in abject secrecy. Parties and clubs would also make secret arrangements.

Politicians stand to suffer more scandals and blackmails.

Corrupted Pastors who 'accidentally' get involved in fornication will bear scars of shame and lose a lot of their congregation.

All manner of trials and hearings would flood courtrooms; lawyers would smile to the bank making money off randy individuals who can't do without illegal gallivanting with the opposite sex.

Some women would turn sex into a vicious weapon of destruction (if they don't face any serious punishment, that is), many men would be at their mercy.

The list of possibilities seems to never end. It looks like such law, rather than sort out the matter, would end up in chaos.

Or what other possibilities do you think?

What You Probably Never Knew About Condoms

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Condoms are probably the most popular contraceptives but how much do we know about this famous (and infamous) latex?
                                    

                                   

Source

LOL...Have you learnt anything? Hope you have!

                                   

                                   

                                   

                       

20 Weird Sex Laws Around the World

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, July 30, 2013

So when Nigerian law makers lit the fires of underage marriage, its embers burned furiously across the nation as a nationwide outrage hit everywhere. Yours truly was not left out and almost did a video about it until I had second thoughts due to a busy schedule.

Well, we were fighting against a law governing underage marriage. Some other nations don't seem to have it this good with their weird sex laws.
Well...at least that's what the gathered facts below claim. I don't know how true they are but they are downright funny and ridiculous.
                                                                 

                                   

                                   

                                              

          Source

                                   

                                   
I'm still wondering...are these laws for real? Or somebody's playing comedy central with our minds. Since today's world is full of weird creepy stuff, I'll say this may be true.

Or what do you think? 

                                   

Image Source
www.ai-don.deviantart.com
            

                                   

                                   

                                   

                       

Adventure into Shocking Onitsha Sex Market

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, June 24, 2013

Today the internet has become the world wide hub of exposing the unexposables; it defies the definition of privacy as it offers limitless opportunities to air dirty laundry not only locally but globally. With the flourishing growth of social networks like Twitter, self-styled nude photos and personal sex videos litter the information highway like an environment that would never see the sanitation of modesty show up to make corrections. Yes, we are definitely in the end times as society as gone full-ballistic in rotteness.

If you ever thought the internet is where the rottenness of moral decay and celebration of immorality enjoy wanton displays, you need to hear the story of the prostitute commune near Oba junction on the route to Nnewi along the Onitsha-Owerri expressway. 

In my own years of living in eastern Nigeria, I've notice in alarm how the population of women outnumber that of men; many families who are struggling to survive tend to have more females than males. It is no surprise then that prostitution would thrive in such locations. 

In my personal experience as a youth corper serving in Imo State, I always had to escape falling into being entrapped by the women. To make matters worse, women from these parts are usually beautiful and groomed to look stunning in their local way. In the village where I served, pretty damsels littered the community, giving me the eye in attempt to send the 'I'm available' message anytime I was passing by. The things I witnessed among female students in the school where I taught shocked me. 

That's another story for another day.

Back to Oba Junction, where trailers and trucks stop over on their long distance trips to relax. Reporters with the Sunday Sun recounted their experience on visiting this commune....

Oba junction near Onitsha, which leads to Nnewi, called ‘Japan of Africa’, along the Onitsha-Owerri expressway in Anambra State, is a mere stop-over relaxation spot for mainly drivers of heavy-duty trucks and trailers on long distance travels. This explains the concentration of makeshift shops and drinking joints competing for space on both sides of the road.

But behind the façade of eating and drinking, is a big séx market that would make the biblical people of Sodom and Gomorrah green with envy. Here, séx sells like hot bean cake. The shops serve dual purposes – the front serves as food and drink joints while the back serves as a brothels. Some of the female shop owners display only television sets for movies and offer their bodies for sale.

As Sunday Sun correspondent alighted from the car this cool evening, a lady in a tight red top barely concealing her breasts stood up from a plastic chair to welcome him and a colleague. Posing as the storeowner, the visitors looked forward to being invited to sit down and make their orders for the delicacies on display. But surprisingly, they soon discovered that her body was the product on sale.

Encounter with ‘merciless’ Mercy

In the conversation that ensued, the lady who introduced herself as Mercy from neighbouring Delta State, told her guests that she has ‘no mercy’ for men when it comes to séx because she could guarantee maximum satisfaction that could make the client beg for more. Shaking her breasts provocatively and rubbing her body on this correspondent, she said she was ready for the night’s business once the fee was settled.

Mercy assured that for N1000, her client was guaranteed maximum touching and sucking of breasts and the main treat. Pointing at the next shop, she said: “That is where I lodge. My room is the one behind the shop and you will like it when we enter. I can also take two of you at the same time.”

The guests soon disengaged themselves on the pretext that they wanted to take some drinks to enable them get in the mood. By this time, darkness had set in but the lights from passing vehicles, lanterns and electricity from few shops with generating sets provided visibility. Both sides of the road had been taken over by próstitutes in several shades and forms. Some stood by the cabin of the parked vehicles, for customers, others strolled along the road while some others stayed in front of the shops, beckoning on male passers-by.

The spectacle became more interesting and captivating at the main junction leading to Nnewi. Young girls between 13 and 18 years openly hawked their bodies on the main road. Some held their clients tight, kissing and wriggling their waists behind the parked vehicles. One of them who identified herself as Chiamaka from Obollo Afor, picked offence when the reporter asked her how business was going. She retorted: “I take exception to that statement. This is not business, it is rather a game. You can call it catching fun or playing games. It’s just like I play with you and you appreciate me for being a good player or a good dancer, that’s all. Please, don’t call it business.”

Chiamaka who would not be drawn into explaining why at her age, she came all the way from Obollo Afor in Enugu State for próstitution, said that on a very good day, she could take up to 20 men and that she collects a minimum of N500 for ‘short time’ service.

The Pregnant Próstitutes’ Corner

At a section of the séx market, Sunday Sun noticed several heavily pregnant prostitutes who despite their protruding bellies, are dressed in seductive wears competing for clients.

One of them, who introduced herself as Chy Chy, stated that some men prefer them to those not pregnant. The pregnant séx hawker, who later collected N400 from the reporter, said that she also belonged to the category of women who get high on séx while pregnant. Asked about what would become of her baby after delivery, she dropped another shocker when she said that the unborn baby was already penciled for sale.

“I enjoy séx only when I’m pregnant. If I’m not in this state, I only do it for the money but when I’m pregnant, I gain on both sides because you will pay me for my service and I will also get high when you touch me. There are men who look for our type and it suits us that way. As for my baby, what is your business about that? Well, if you must know, this is the third pregnancy and I sold the previous two for N80, 000 and N120, 000 respectively. Prospective buyers are already waiting for this one (touching her belly) and na so e go be”, she said.

Inside the hotel

Further checks by Sunday Sun reporter later revealed that the main próstitution dish is served in a hotel close to the junction.

The hotel (name witheld), it is a gateway to uncontrolled illicit séx and debauchery. With several semi-nude girls and boys high on marijuana milling around the entrance of the hotel, the first hint of what to expect, occurred inside a patent medicine store located near the gate of the hotel. It took the chemist owner about 20 minutes to attend to the reporter’s request for N20 worth of Vitamin C tablets because of a long queue of people buying séx-related items.

A young man jumped the queue and apparently borrowing slang from the lyrics of popular artist, Flavor, he told the chemist in Igbo: “Oga doc, biko nyem ifem na eri kam puo (Doctor, please give me what I eat, and let me move out of here).”

As he spoke, he stepped aside to puff on a wrap of Indian hemp in his hands. Later, the reporter asked the storeowner what he meant, and he pointed at a particular brand of latex cóndom that he described as the man’s favourite. Within minutes, the ladies and men on queue bought several kinds of condóms, energizer tablets and different types of aphrodisiacs and moved into the hotel where a bevy of women and men in high spirit, danced to another music track by Flavour, “Kpuchie, jayie”, booming from the giant speakers mounted in the open arena.

On the left side of the entrance, there was a circle of seductive women in different types of make-up, who displayed their perfumed bodies and bikinis barring all their body contours. Two of the hawkers rushed at the reporter and his colleague, giving them an unsolicited embrace, and introduced themselves as the queens of the lodge. One of them said: “Come and you will see a unique séxual style you’ve never seen before. We have Liberian girls, Ghanaian girls, Cotonou babes, Dubai girls, etc. As the visitors pretended to be scanning the rooms before making their choices, one of the girls declared: “I’m Isabella from Liberia, you will like my service.”

It was later gathered that a round of séx with a Liberian attracts N7000, Ghanaians go for N4000 while it costs N2500 to have it with a Nigerian.

Reacting to our reporter’s feigned protest of the high cost of séx in the brothel, a young man who sat in a corner of the hall drinking and smoking said: “Don’t mind them. They looked at your fresh body and nice clothes and thought that you are loaded. That is how they make money from new comers. We are old in the game and I want to let you know that a round here is N500 but when you need all-night service, it’s N2500. There is no classification here because we are regular customers and we know them. Forget that they told you that they are from abroad; all of them are Igbo and Delta.”

As if the girls noticed that the newcomers had been inducted, Isabella who had introduced herself as a Liberian suddenly started speaking Igbo language as they settled down to a table.

In this hotel, wearing of pants is unofficially prohibited. All the prostitutes wore petty coats and tiny skirts in a sagging form showing their butts without pants. Smoking of marijuana both inside and outside the gate is also legalized. A woman sells fast foods like noodles garnished with tomato sauce inside the brothel while the resident barman doubles as the house DJ, supplying eardrum-threatening music. Two armed men on army camouflage who smoked and drank endlessly provide security to the hotel that has three sections, A, B and C, all streaming with clients for short time services.

Free wife for a guest

One of the hawkers suddenly tapped our reporter’s colleague, rested her head on his shoulder and addressed him as her husband. She was the only one wearing denim trouser that night, and she explained that she didn’t want to expose her legs. Suddenly, she stood up, unzipped her trousers unashamedly revealing her pubic hairs and announced that she was naked inside. She said she was a student in Port Harcourt but came to the hotel for brief business. The other lady that sat with Sunday Sun reporter and his colleague said that she could take N400 for ‘short time’ but in some cases, charge as high as N4000 for séx without condóm.

Source

Imagine! How many have put themselves to unnecessary danger in this sinful environment? Unfortunately, it all boils around a profession with ancient origins. The thought all the things going on in this place is freakishly scary. Some even go beyond getting paid for it. 

I keep wondering...with things like this still flourishing, will there ever be an end to taking it beyond the shores...that is, 'Italy runs'?

I've always known eastern men to be aggressive and desperate when it comes to business and making money. I guess this is a side to the desperation of this Onitsha sex market.