0

Invasion of Porn on Nigeria's Startimes TV?

Labels: , , , , , ,

I was caught by this article on Vanguardngr.com that highlighted the growing concern over the acquisition of a distressed South African cable TV known as TopTV by Startimes, Nigeria’s most affordable satellite TV network.

The reason for the concern as many would know by now, was the fact that TopTV was recently licensed to broadcast 3 adult channels – Playboy TV, Desire TV and Private Spice in South Africa. The distressed Pay-TV owned by On Digital Media had faced battles over the decision to launch the adult channels. They eventually got the license despite attempts to frustrate their effort. The launch of these adult channels was a move to try and kick-start On Digital Media’s financial recovery which was going down the drain.

What a dirty cheap remedy.


But that didn’t seem to be enough to lift the company out of its financial doldrums.  

Enter Startimes to rescue as reported by the vanguard:

“Earlier this month, shareholders of On Digital Media, ODM, voted to accept the business rescue plan offered by Chinese company, Star Times. ODM has been distressed and in business rescue since last October.
The development has raised palpable fears that the Chinese pay TV operator may include the Top TV porn channels in its Nigerian bouquet offerings.
But spokesman of StarTimes Nigeria, Ayokunle Idowu, in a telephone conversation said his company had no such plans.
“We have no such plans. Apart from that, I’m sure the National Broadcasting Commission, NBC, will not approve such,” he said.
But aggressive marketing of its T-1 decoders at N3,000 fuel fears that addition of the hard core channels will drive up subscription.”
I suspect something afoot and the truth being withheld.



Years back when Startimes first debuted in Nigeria, it was mostly Alaba marketers and small time dealers that were peddling its service then and one of the main things being highlighted that made many to subscribe to it was the fact that it had porn stations. This pushed the sales of the Startimes decoder back then. On partnering with the Nigerian Television Network (NTA ), the porn channels suddenly stopped airing.


Could it be because the government was now involved that the porn stations disappeared?

Now Startimes had grown bigger as one of the major players in the Pay-TV business and is buying up TopTV, the South African station licensed to air porn channels. Fears are being expressed because we are a society where our moral values do not allow it.

According to another excerpt from the Vanguardngr.com:

The approval for the X-rated channels also sparked the anger of the South Africa’s Muslim Judicial Council, MJC, which described it as “inconsistent”.  Nabeweya Mallick, spokesperson for the MJC, said the council was “disappointed,” at ICASA’s (Independent Communications Authority of South Africa) insensitivity to the rights of tastes of religious and race groups and cultures.” [Emphasis mine]

If South Africa’s Muslim community could raise noise over the approval of the approval of the airing of these stations, imagine what the Nigerian Muslim community would do if the channels kick off here.

That would probably give the Boko Haram insurgents more reasons to bomb more places in Nigeria.

I hope Ayokunle Idowu is telling us the truth…because if it’s a lie, we should all get ready for the worst.



Images Coutesy
www.mybroadband.co.za
www.scoop.it

Related Sources






4

The Gbagauns of Yoruba Nollywood 4 + Hausa & Igbo! [Photos]

Labels: , , , ,

It's time to check out again the random butchering the English language in the ridiculous subtitling of Yoruba Nollywood movies. As you might have observed in these series, the grammatical mishaps mostly happen in Yoruba movies. In my recent search, I came across 'gbaguans' from some Hausa and Igbo movies and decided to include them as the title of this post indicates. I'll gladly appreciate anyone who can capture 'gbagauns' in Hausa and Igbo movies or any other indigenous movie that has hilarious mis-subtitling (if there's such a word!). I wanna personally thank Monike Binitie who was very helpful in majority of this collection of Yoruba Nollywood 'Gbagauns'. 

Oh...and for those who still don't know, 'gbagaun' is a Nigerian slang of yoruba origin which refers to a grammatical blunder in the English language.

So let's take a look at the next gbagaun line-up.



Wow...I didn't know Alcohol could pierce through noses.

Please I don't want to think he's referring to what I think he's referring to!

This would definitely sound disturbing tin contemporary lingo
...a man calling referencing himself to a hoe.

Yay! A new way to diagnose cough is here!
Doctors would be embarrassed watching this.

Which 'george'? The material Igbo women love to sew as blouse or...?
(Igbo Movie)

I read this and was embarrassed at my self  for reading it.
Yes...it was that painful.

What the heck is an 'unfortunate'? Some new hip Ibadan slang?

Yes. He is 'every' right.

If peace was in every rainfall the world would be a better place, yeah?

I'm also confused. What are you 'founding' out?

She seems to be crying at the fact that the subtitler can't translate in good english.

Respect the dead. Speak good english!

Hahaha...the lady seems to be shocked at the way he scattered the English language

At first just the 'concerns' was the problem.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Then later on in the same movie the grammar becomes complicated
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Is that how they say it in polygamous families? 'Childrens'?
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Even apostrophes are not spared the brutality of misuse along with bad grammar
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

And I'm amazed how the badly constructed subtitle makes it look like she's lying.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

What on earth is a 'folling staling'? I'm sure I went to school oh! 

Apparently, some serious hot romance can make you speak bad English
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

The inability to distinguish between words that sound similar
has the subtitler doing disastrous guesswork.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

I searched the dictionary for the word 'treet', googled it, facebooked it,
tweet-searched it...no luck. I don't think it exists.
(Igbo Movie)

And the English language is not having a nice time being spoken like this.

Was this translated by a Ghanaian?
Because I think that's how 'grammar' sounds in their accent.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

This is constipation of English. Too much to say and gbaguan happens.
(Hausa Movie)

This is probably the worst of all the subtitles in this collection.
Who did this crappy translation
(Hausa Movie)

I wish I could get more gbaguan shots from Hausa and Igbo movies. I know there are a lot of them amongst Hausa movies. Maybe I'll keep a watch on Hausa Channel on DSTV's Africa Magic.

And if you've got some, send them to me at kushmond@yahoo.com

Have a nice week!

1

Klint Da Drunk Ranting Over Beer Bottles [Video]

Labels: , , ,



I came across this funny animated video just recently uploaded. It was frigging hilarious. I've gotta say Klint Da Drunk really sounds good in animation form. Check it out. 



Klint should really do more of this! What do you think?

2

20 Crazy Situations We All Hate

Labels: , , ,

Doesn't it just grind your gears when you get in that awkward situation where it seems as if evil people are working against your progress? Those moments when it just seems as if luck is not just on your side? We all have these moments at some point in our lives. I encountered one of such this morning. I had to add it as point #14 on this list.



1.       Seeing a cockroach, then losing track of it and becoming a paranoid prisoner in your own home.

2.      When you and your date take a cab out for a date with the hope that you’ll pay when you get to an ATM and when you get there every ATM is out of service.

3.       Thinking that you’ve found a parking space, but as you turn in you discover that a motorcycle or some other vehicle has already occupied the spot.

4.      When a sneeze refuses to come out, causing you to look like a fool with a scrunched up face.

5.      Waiting to hear alert from the bank about your salary being ready and instead you’re being bombarded by texts from callers that are not the bank.



6.      When the week feels like: Moooooooooooooonday, Tuuuuuuuuuuueeeesday, Weeeeeeeeeeeednesday, Thuuuuuuuuuursday, FriSatSun.

7.      You scan your surroundings. Nobody is near you. You fart. Within three seconds, somebody comes right into the stinky perimeter that you’ve created.

8.     Buying a N1,500 recharge card and while scratching it you discover you scratched out some of the numbers with the foil.

9.      When you microwave frozen food and its scorching hot everywhere but the ice cold in the middle.

10.  When you buy an interesting Nollywood movie and you discover you just bought part 1 out of 5 parts.

11.    When somebody makes up lies about you, and defending yourself makes you seem guilty – but not defending yourself seems suspicious as well.

12.  Getting paid but knowing in advance that your check will be consumed by bills.



13.  When you see an ice cream bowl in the fridge but when you open it you discover it’s preserved Eba inside.

14.  When after a heavy rainfall a car speeds by splashing water on you and is gone before you can say anything.

15.   When a commercial bus stops 20+ feet away waiting for you forcing you to jog toward it.

16.  The humbling moment when you realize you’re wrong during an argument.

17.   Waking up and only having a few minutes left until the alarm will sound.

18.  When you wear a very cool outfit but don’t run into anybody noteworthy all day.

19.  When you’ve gotten some popcorn, just slotted in the DVD of your favourite series and PHCN takes light.

20.    The feeling of of wanting to take a pee badly and you’re in an area where KAI officials full everywhere.

What's your own crazy situation which you despise? Let's hear it.



5

What's Happening Here? [Photo]

Labels: , , ,





I came across this funny picture from www.tdotpics.com

It's a picture from Iyanya's US/Toronto Tour. 
I wasn't so concerned about the tour but 
I just couldn't resist laughing my butt off at this scenario. 

So I had an idea to turn it into a caption contest.

The best caption will receive a gift.

Just drop your caption(s), e-mail and country where you’re located (required!)

I’ll leave this open for some days for people to drop before I declare the winning caption.

5

Today Means Something to Me...

Labels: , , , ,

It's the day I was born! It's my birthday today!

Me at 1 year old.

Happy Birthday and many happy returns to an awesome me!

What? you don't think I'm awesome? well some people think I am...Almighty God and my sweet family, nuclear and partially extended. 


A.Y.

People say A.Y and I bear striking resemblance as babies. 
Is it true?



0

The Mutation of the Underwear

Labels: , , , , ,


I’m getting tired of having to talk about undergarments…seriously!

But I have to because people don’t seem to realize that we are fast moving into an age where the ritualistic act of wearing undergarments will soon totally disappear and many will eventually be wearing nothing (well that seems to have started already from a post I put up some time ago). We have been lamenting the alarming trend of clothes (especially that of women) that seem to be fast changing from the simple mission of covering ones ‘valuables’ to exposing them, thus accidentally turning all that come into visual contact with them into voyeuristic perverts.

I've always questioned the existence of thongs or G-strings as undergarments and I've gotten rationales that seem to make sense though I still suspect it is also a sinful tool for causing emotional and hormonal havoc to the opposite sex. Well, we just had to live with it; wifey even had some and I must confess that I liked them on her.

I had obviously forgotten that we’re in the last days where things just get worse and worse like in the days of Noah.

I happened to be on Verastic’s blog reading an article that Vera had put up when I saw the thumbnail of another article she had written. It was about a new kind of underwear for men, The weird thing looked like a half-thong or half-brief. They called it the ‘Lateral Thong’.

The Lateral Thong

I can never guess the reason for this abominable conception. I can never even dream of wearing this weird thing. Wifey would think I was nuts and also question my sexual orientation if I showed up in it; I’m sure it was designed by some gay dude. I know women wear G-strings and other kinds of underwear for rationalized reasons by I can’t seem to find any reason why a dude would wear this.  I’m fine with my boxer shorts, thank you!

Reading through Vera’s blog, she made mention of the ‘C-string’ for women being way better than this and there was a link to it.

A ‘C-string’? Which one be that again?

I clicked the link to check it out and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. For those of you who don’t know, a ‘C-string’ is like a G-string minus the ropes, like in the picture below:

The C-String

When I googled it to be sure of what Vera was saying and my screen became a skin display arena as different kinds of photos of ‘places where the sun don’t shine’ under the cup-covering of C-strings filled the screen; I had to close it before someone saw it and thought I was engaging in a perverted act of checking out other people’s nether regions!

If you even saw this underwear from afar (especially if it was black in color), the person would look like she wasn't wearing anything below!

Vera had mentioned it on her blog in regards to women wearing it. To my horror, I discovered on the google image page that there was a version for men! If you haven't seen it before click here to view how it looks. It's a bit too risque to put on my site.

Was that really necessary?

Days later, I was discussing with Wifey over a gist about underwear issues and she laughed and said she had something to show me amongst a set of female undies she was helping a friend to sell. Then she brought out this undergarment that I had to actually ask her several times over again, ‘You sure say this one na ‘pata’?’ – because I couldn’t believe people actually wore such.

This one na pant?

It looked like a G-string in reverse – instead of having a rope, it had a string of beads that went over and underneath your crotch!

I found it hard to comprehend that this was an underwear, it looked like something designed for a woman to masturbate while she walked…uurrggh!

And while my mouth was still ajar in perplexity and my mind struggled to figure how a person would feel comfortable in that, she brought another one which was not new to me – panties with extra butt-pads for women that have no ‘Nyansh’. Though it wasn’t new to me, I had never actually seen a real one (don’t need to, wifey has the REAL thing) except the one I saw on the internet which had a variety of sizes.

Undie with butt-pads (Back view)
Undie with butt-pads (Front view)

Men are seriously being deceived…especially if you are the one who likes your spec of woman to be heavily endowed on her backside (a good reason not to base a relationship majorly on looks).

I remember I put up an illustration in another post way some time ago in which someone had created of the progression of women’s underwear through the ages in which they keep shrinking until they practically disappear.  

I’m beginning to think that prediction is becoming a reality!

Not only are undies disappearing, they are also mutating into weird hybrids.




Additional Images courtesy
www.washingtonpost.com
www.searchingforstyle.com 
www.vajazzling.com















Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...