Honor to whom due...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, June 26, 2009

I feel priviledged to have existed while this Legend lived - an unforgetable part of my childhood.

R.I.P

Wacko Jacko

1958 - 2009

Gala Seller from the US?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, June 18, 2009

LOL...okay this news hit the PM News tabloid like 3 days ago and it got me wondering...At least the headline did b4 I read the details. Click on the image to get a wind of what this dude was up to selling Gala on the streets of Lagos.

The voice audition is still on and it seems only SCOMISS is bold enough to dare it. Seems every other person's scared to try. lol.

Hey SCOMISS, I'm feeling ur rendition of 'tracy'! Seems you might be the one for the part since I haven't gotten any competitors on it.

Voice Auditions! - Who Do You Sound Like?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Recently, I’ve been working on a project with Kimson and would like to feature blogville folk on an experiment. What we need now are voices so we’d like to audition for voices.

So all you gotta do is check out these characters: Ganz, Peter, Shedrach, Tracy, Sandra and Azeez, pick one or two or all, and try to sound like them judging by their looks.

All you have to say is: ‘Hi I’m (Name of character) and I’m representing on the Kush Chronicles!’ then sign off with your blog name or real identity.

To record your voice is simple. Just do it on the Snapvine recorder on this blog or record and upload. You can click on the ‘Get your own’ button on on the Snapvine player on this blog as shown below in circle to go to the Snapvine page.

You can voice-imitate as much as you like. Recording is simple as long as you've got a phone, recordable MP3 player or a Laptop that records directly. 

Y’all better take part in this ‘cause there’s a surprise coming at the end of it when the review of each voice imitation comes out.

So don’t just comment, drop a voice for as many of these characters you can imitate.

We're waiting!

What happened in May?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I never posted a single entry throughout the month of May.

Would you like to know why?

Here's the reason why...

Meet Oluwatimilehin (Timi)...my beautiful daughter, born on the 15th of May, 2009.

Now you know why I went AWOL!

Naija Music Scene - Sunshade Copycats

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 23, 2009

Switch on the television today sometime around lunch hour and almost all the local TV stations in Lagos are showing musical video shows parading Nigerian artistes belting out their tunes in the setting of beautifully produced videos. Everyone seems to be doing it real good with their videos; even the wackiest of artistes manage to shoot something colorful.

The Nigerian music industry is definitely going somewhere but a lot of Nigerian artistes still need to learn a few things and get a few facts right.

There are way too many copycats on the music scene. I won’t mention names but by the time I’m through, when you see them, you’ll know them. Many artistes don’t really have solid identities. They just copy off on what some other artiste is doing and replicate it on their own fort.
Here’s what I mean – Today the artiste called D’banj is not only known by his name but he has A LOOK that has become elements of his brand personality; the dark shades (till today, I’m not sure I’ll recognize the dude without shades), his mannerisms which have certain slogans acquainted with it. His right-hand man, Don Jazzy, is well known for strutting about with a walking staff and a face cap or felt hat. There is a style to the way this duo present themselves. Right from the beginning, DBanj started with shades and ever since then, it’s become part of his persona.

Today, many upcoming artistes are now sporting shades. Almost every video I catch a glimpse of has the performing artiste wearing shades. Why? Na by force? Or are your eyes too ugly to look at? Or is it because that’s what they think it takes to look cool? As far as I’m concerned, it’s not the shades that stand you out but the way you package and brand yourself.

What are you known for? What’s iconic about you?

Ruggedman is known for wearing his iconic headwarmer (He looked rather odd in a video where he wasn’t wearing it), Weird MC will always be known for the funny hat she always has on her head, Lagbaja is unmistakable for being the masked wonder, Asa’s simple dreadlocks with her ordinary eye glasses seemed to have become her personality. Bouqui is known for sporting short-cropped beautifully dyed hair, GT the guitar man, is known for his fedora and guitar.

And then there are the artistes who have not bothered much about giving a particular definition to their style and that’s because their music is doing that for them – M.I (Who looks better without shades than he does with it), Sound Sultan (whose name also happens to be a powerful trademark), Dare Art Alade (who doesn’t even need unecesaary blings or shades to look good), Djinee (who’s bright eyes, babyface, voice and music style defines his brand) … and the list goes on.
What I take from this is simple – find out what works for you as an artiste. If your personal style can’t be iconic, let your music style be. And again you could have both.

Today, many upcoming artistes are wearing sunshades in their videos as if it has become the artiste uniform to looking cool, its also making so many artistes look alike.

I’m not against wearing shades but for goodness sake, artistes should quit using them all the time in the videos. Its becoming way too overrated and not the only element that defines being cool. There are other ways. Upcoming Artistes should quit being ‘sunglass copycats’ and start getting creative about the way they strut their stuff in their videos.

Premonition

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Some call it instinct. Some call it conscience. Others call it the sixth sense.
But I know it is as the spirit. It’s divine and God put it there in us that we may be able to connect to His, which is known as the Holy Spirit. 

Many have taken it for granted. Many have ignored its relevance or doubted its existence.
Some who happen to know about it just conclude that it’s a psychic thing.

Everybody has it. But many don’t know, and many have suppressed it. Many are too busy to even notice that it’s there. But some have raised it and connected through it to the Almighty God through His Holy Spirit.


December last year, I was driving with my wife to go see my parents for a family get-together. It had rained earlier in the day and the streets were still wet from the heavy showers that had hit the entire city of Lagos. My wife, Choco (pet name) was already about four months pregnant and was eagerly looking towards meeting her in-laws. We cruised steadily through the traffic which progressed at a slow pace due to on-going construction being done on the road. 
I spent time watching the cars lined up next to me move gradually. Of the two lanes formed on our side of the road, one seemed to be moving better than the other. So there was need for us to change from the static lane to the moving one.
I edged the Nissan out of my lane, trafficating for allowance into the moving lane. A white Toyota Corolla was alongside me. I decided to get behind it if the car behind it would let me.
Eventually, I was allowed in and soon we were moving.

I branched off a Y-junction that entered into the interiors of the neighbourhood. I wanted to take a short cut and cut off the rest of the hold-up. As I drove down the road, I noticed the Corolla was ahead of me, going the same way. 

Suddenly Choco jumped and gasped in fright. I looked at her and asked what the matter was.

‘I don’t know. I suddenly had this quick feeling of fear, like my heart jumped in panic.’

‘Sure it’s not the baby?’

‘I don’t think so. I just had this quick feeling about something dreadful’

‘You’re covered by the blood of Jesus.’ I answered prayerfully.

We were almost reaching our destination. What could go wrong? All the same I slowed down as I drove. There was no need to be in a hurry.

As I turned round a street corner, I saw the Corolla screech to a halt and the doors fling open. Next three men armed with machine guns came down. Immediately people around the nieghbourhood took off in panic.

‘Oh my God. Choco…armed robbers!’

‘Blood of Jesus!’

Just as one of the robbers was about turning to face us, my hand hit the auto gear shift to reverse instantly. My foot hit the gas pedal and the car shot backwards. I skidded round the corner, turned the car in a near 180 degrees and sped back the way I came screaming at other oncoming cars that robbers were attacking on the street. Choco was muttering prayers and speaking in tongues under her breath while I gassed the car through the streets dodging careless pedestrians and okada riders.

It was not until I had turned into the major road at the Y-junction that I relaxed and drove steadily. A throbbing headache suddenly sounded through my head – the after effects of the adrenaline that had surged through me the instance I reacted to what I saw.

I called my parents and told them what happened and that we’d come around tomorrow instead.

I was never going to forget one fact. Choco had the premonition…sudden fear that something was wrong. And she was right.

I don’t want to imagine what would have happened to us – me, my wife and our unborn child. Thank God we had a warning from a divine presence…

Some call it instinct. Some call it conscience. Others call it the sixth sense.
I call it The Holy Spirit

Aaarrggh!! Parakeet tagged me!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 02, 2009

I run away from taggings!!
But Parakeet had to hold my butt down by awarding me this honest scrap thing and tagging me to say 10 Honest things about myself.

Okay, here goes.




1. Started writing and drawing in primary school. Wrote a lot of storybooks and illustrated them, bound them with staplers or needle and thread, and had them thrown in the trash when my Mum got tired of me litering the house with them. 

2. I’m addicted to plantain. I’m also addicted to garri and anything that goes well with it!

3. Learnt how to drive by stealing my Dad’s car whenever he wasn’t around. I had two reasons for wanting to learn how to drive...to keep up with the joneses (guys who gained respect in high school for being able to cruise a car) and to get with chicks. 

4. Got excessively drunk for the first time in my life on palm wine and harassed a female teacher during my youth service. 

5. Almost died on 3 occassions in my life – in high school, on campus and during youth service. Could it be that my surname is a prophecy that’s been saving my life?

6. Faked commitment to some of my Ex-es just to have a relationship. 

7. My wife is eight months pregnant and I’m scared shitless and excited at the same time. How does it feel like to be a ‘Popsie’? Please share abeg.

8. Used to suck my finger up till my JSS in high school.

9. I have serious beef for blogs that write about nothing but sex. Isn’t it an overrated issue? 

10. I used to have a very serious crush on a particular blogger on blogsville. Want to know who she is? lol...I leave that for you to guess!

I guess these are honest enough?
So therefore, I tag the following people:

YNC

Ugandan Girl

Favoured Girl

Naughty Eyes

Sha

Olufunke

Archiwiz

Here are the instructions for the above tagged folks!

1.You must brag about the award
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. 
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

I hope I've done all I'm supposed to do.

Refusing to keep up with the joneses

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Have you ever been in the postion of watching other people cruise cars that are higher in terms of luxury, performance and model than yours and still felt good that you at least have a set of wheels to be proud despite not keeping with the joneses?

Well, thats how I've been feeling. I don't drive a high end BMW or a Super benz. I don't cruise a luxury lexus or a powerful VW toureg. Nope. I don't.

I move about in a humble 1995 Nissan Primera

But it wasn't until I came across this funny Ad that I further got to appreciate the kind of ride I cruise.

Just take a look at this Ad and you'll know what I mean...

LOL...Will somebody who's proud of the wheels he could readily afford (as of now) holla at whatamsayin'?

I just love my primera...

Know the host that rocks and the host that sucks @ WebhostingGeeks

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 20, 2009

If you’re a regular surfer on the internet, chances are that you either have a blog or a website of your own. It’s cool when you’ve got such virtual locations which give you the feel of having your own personal office where you want it and how you want it. 

There’s nothing as good as having a good foundation to start on and what I mean by this is a good website host to hang your site on. So where on earth do you get a good host for your site? I found out that searching for a web host site on a search engine might be a pain because you’ll just get a load of random hosts that you just can’t be sure which you can trust.

But then, have no fear, because there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I came across this Website hosting site that showcases a directory of hosts and rates them accordingly. You get to choose the host of your choice after seeing the reviews, rating and weighing your options.

I’m talking about Webhostinggeeks.com, the site that offers you Independent reviews of the best web hosting providers, cheap professional web hosting services under $10 a month, and also offer you the opportunity of deciding which one you feel is best for you as well as which you feel you can afford. They got different categories covered - Budget Hosting, Blog Hosting, Forum Hosting, Unix Hosting, Windows Hosting, PHP Hosting, Email Hosting, Ecommerce Hosting, Multiple Domain Hosting, VPS Hosting, Dedicated Hosting…and the list goes on. There's also the webhosting geeks blog that gives you resourceful lowdown on technical stuff about your domain and site hosting. 

You also get to contribute: review your web host and let other webmasters know the best and the worst. The best are listed and given awards. Isn’t that a cool way to get credibility info? It sure is...and thats gonna be my first stop when I'm  looking for a host for a new website.

Webhostinggeeks.com – that’s the place to go when you’re looking for the best host providers; the place to go when you're not sure what hosting package suits your site, and finally, the place to go when you need info on which website host rocks and which one sucks!

Butt Crack & Fashion

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, March 09, 2009

Each time I ‘accidentally’ watch a Fashion show, I’m always amused. 
Skinny chicks parading outrageous outfits and being applauded by an audience that seems to appreciate the bizarre.

Okay, I’ll honestly say that some designers have some real good stuff that get paraded but at the same time you need to check out the crazy stuff some designers come up with all in the name of making you look good. Check out the hilarious moments of fashion in the video below…

Modeling Show Funny Video - The funniest videos clips are here

There’s a pair of jeans and pant types that are either designed to sit on ladies hips and expose their G-strings in a rather supposedly ‘sexually appealing’ way or just expose the size of the cracks of their asses.

Courtesy www.pbase.com

Okay, I’m beating about several bushes but what I mean to say is this: 
Have you noticed that a lot of clothes designed for women nowadays is meant to exploit their gender?  (I think this may be an interesting topic for Standtall!)

I once caught sight of a chick that must have ‘accidentally’ worn a low-hip jeans ‘cause the crack of her butt was smiling at everyone who accidentally looked in her direction. She was attending to me at an eatery and each time she turned round to pick stuff from a fridge I had to stifle the laughter that wanted to force itself out. Her butt cheeks were so nastily squeezed into a low-hip jeans, violently exposing a crack almost big enough to hold a small plastic bottle. 

What about the chick I saw riding on an okada. Her jeans was so low I could see the first half of her sanitary pad sticking out like it had come up for air.

Oh did I mention ladies only? What about the ‘sagging’ phenomenon? It seems we now have all manner of pants and jeans that are meant to sit on men’s hips and in most cases expose the boxers. And they are supposed to look cool right?

Courtesy www.wehaitians.com

So, why would you show off your boxers or sag anyway? To look cool?

I think it’s a self-esteem perception issue.

I don’t believe you need to be all boxers-out for the society to think you’re all that.

And the society's becoming somewhat aware

Nope. I don’t believe so.

What you do, stand for, who you are should speak for you. masqueraded attitudes are just child’s play. But hey, we were all children once (I also once did all that ‘yanga’ too). However, there’s a time to grow up. Those who grow up on time turn out to be stars.

It’s a crazy world when we all dress up to impress people all at the expense of being comfortable. I see people do it a lot: 
A lady pulling down her top again and again to cover a partially exposed crack…
A lady watching her steps because of the orthopaedic monsters she’s wearing on her foot… 
A ‘saggingly’ dressed dude from time to time stylishly grabbing his crotch in a cool fashion when what he’s actually doing is drawing them up from getting under his shoes…
I could go on. But I leave the rest to your imagination.

Like I said…it’s a crazy world when we all dress up to impress people all at the expense of being comfortable. I don’t think I wanna do that anymore. If I’m not comfortable in what I’m wearing, I’m not wearing it. 

The Facebook Menace

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm contemplating about Facebook.

It sounds like a good social networking site that could help connect you with long lost friends among other things.

But some people are begining to see the dark side of this powerfully famous site.

Facebook has cost some people their jobs. Their bosses found incriminating info or pictures of them on facebook.

Marriages have broken because of facebook. I came across this shocking story of how far facebook could affect a married couple. Click here to view the story.

A lesson could be learnt or rather a warning served to all of us of the dark sides of social networking sites from the Megan Meier story whose case occurred thru MySpace.

A friend of mine recently removed all his data from facebook because it was about putting him in trouble.

Some companies are now configuring their internet connection to disallow the facebook url ever showing up on their internet because it was a distraction to many employees.

I've come to prefer blogging to facebooking. Its safer and I'm in control - and i can also make some good income.

I don't frequent facebook that much. (Thank goodness for that.) I only use it when Ineed to reach some people. 

And I'm developing a new habit now...doing more reading than staying at a PC!

Like the Ad above says, lets try reading more books and not just stay glued to PCs shey? lol!

The Nigerian Lady & The Bouquet of Flowers

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, February 16, 2009

Okay. I'm supposed to have posted this on Vals day but I guess it still isn't a bad idea to view it even after the lovey dovey season.

Of what relevance is a bouquet of flowers to a Nigerian lady? Just watch this funny video and add your own comments. 

Alaere Alaibe...Gone...Saddening

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, February 12, 2009

Her name is Alaere Alaibe.

45 years of age.

Married to NDDC chairman, Timi Alaibe for 20 years.

She's the Founder of the FREE Foundation which stands for Family Reorientation Education and Empowerment, an NGO that has touched the lives of many less priviledged people and given them hope for a new life.

Her NGO has won awards upon awards.

Also the owner of 'Pretty Woman' on Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos.

This beautiful and enigmatic woman who last year was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma (a form of cancer) is no more.

She died in her husbands arms singing her favourite song at a London hospital.

She'll be buried today.

...She's also a blogger. Check out her blog here

My guess is that she must have stopped blogging after being diagnosed of her illness.

Check her foundation's website here

So sad. Another good woman who has touched lives and positively affected others, gone just like that.

Read more about her here

The Chat City for Single Parents

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, February 09, 2009

You’re single and you have a kid. And you’d like to mingle again and stop being single or you just need to meet another like you, there’s always an answer or should I say solution to that.

You need to get on the web and log on to www.singleparentchatcity.com – the one stop chat site with loads of chat rooms where tons of single parents connect, share and relate with one another. You get to register for free and there’s an opportunity to chat via live webcam connectivity. 

I checked out the site and I think it’s cool. I mean, here’s a site that offers single parents the opportunity to find love again. One thing I’ll say I like about the site is that it offers you the opportunity to punch in the age range of people you’d like to meet and the results show you members that meet your search of whom are online at the moment.

Just a little search that I did and there was a display of a host of good looking single parents. The site seems to be having new members joining every minute because each time you do a search you get to see a fresh set of folks just joining!

There are definitely a lot of good-looking people out there waiting to connect!

The Chronicles X - The Camera 2

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, February 05, 2009

It was 6.45pm when Nate jumped down from the commercial bus and hurried through the hustle and bustle of Ikeja. 
He haphazardly crossed the road conjuring insults that questioned his parenthood from crazed bus drivers. 
He turned at a junction into an interior road. He had reached the famed Otigba computer village – a neighborhood where almost every building had become outlet for the sale of all manner of computers and InfoTech equipment. 
But he had come too late. The shop he had come to had closed. He ran through the adjoining streets searching for other shops that sold cameras. The ones he saw didn’t have what he needed.
Totally exhausted, he leaned against an empty kiosk that stood at a street junction, his eyes roaming the area to see if there was any shop that might seem to have what he wanted.

‘Bros, you wan buy something?’ a hoarse voice speaking in pidgin English startled him and he spun round to see it belonged to a lanky young man carrying two flat screen monitors. He was probably a shop owner who had just closed for the day.

‘Y…yes. I wan buy digital camera.’ Nate found his voice seizing in-between his panting as a result of his run.

‘Check the shop down that corner for the end, you go fin’ cheap one there.’ He nodded towards a corridor between a couple of two storey buildings. The corridor receded down in a long stretch with shops on either side. 
It was hard to see the end as it seemed to disappear into darkness.

Nate strolled cautiously down the corridor. He occasionally came across a shop owner just about locking up his shop. 
Finally he came to the last shop which was actually the end of the corridor. On the glass door hung an ‘Open’ sign on it.

He pushed the door and it opened with the creak of a drawback spring. As he stepped into the shop, the spring swung the door back into place. He looked around.

The shop looked more like a place where mostly used electronics and digital items were sold – many of which where displayed in glass cases, some perched on shelves in protective plastic nylon. Digital cameras, radios, laptops, mobile phones, palm pilots, scanners, printers and many other items populated the shop like it had been arranged for a quick junk sale.

‘Can I help you?’ A soft spoken yet deep baritone voice startled Nate, making him upset a collection of Software magazines piled on a table next to him.

The owner of the voice was a balding middle aged but well built man sporting a full moustache, dressed in a short sleeved, tight-fitting, green and yellow Ankara fabric shirt with a thick collar - all on top of a pair of green stonewashed jeans. 

‘Whoa! You scared me!’ 

‘Sorry about that. Hope I didn’t scare you too much.’

Nate gave him a funny look and the man gave a friendly laugh. 

‘Most of my friends complain that I’m way too quiet a person and that freaks them out. So, what can I do for you?’

‘I need a digital camera.’

‘What type?’

‘Uumm…how about you recommend a good one for me?’

‘May I ask why you came to this shop?’ 

Nate was unprepared for the question.

‘Well…most of the digital camera shops were closed. And someone directed me here. Why do you ask?’

The man moved towards an office table, perched at the edge.

‘Nothing. Just curious. So you need a real good digital camera you say?’

‘Yep. Something that won’t cost me too much.’

The man smiled and stroked his well shaven chin.

‘That won’t cost much shey? Hmm…I think I have just the camera for you.’

He got up and went into an inner room behind the office desk.

Nate stood there for the next five minutes wondering if it was a good idea to buy from this guy. He juggled odds slowly in his head but before he could reach a conclusion the man was back with a dusty cardboard box.

Nate suddenly began to loose interest. The box looked like it had been abandoned for years. It was about the size of a small jewelry case but was far from looking anything like one. It had markings on it which had faded so much that you could hardly read what was on it. It still had strips of old worn out tape clinging loosely to it – evidence of tampered packaging.

‘Is this new?’ he asked in a hardly impressed tone.

The man didn’t answer him. He placed the box on the table, dusted it with a piece of rag then opened the flaps of the box. He lifted a set of white protective foams and set them on the table. Then with expert care lifted something out of the box and laid it on the table before Nate.

Nate gasped and blinked several times. 

The box was nothing to write about but the content - the camera that lay in it was something else. 

It was a professional digital Single Lens Reflex camera unlike any which he had never seen before.
It had thick rubber padding round the areas where your hands rested and glistening steel running along its edges. It’s already attached lens stuck out like the barrel of some powerful weapon. The wide LCD view finder shone just like the glistening steel outlines. 
But above all, the most striking thing about this camera was its name – Seer

‘'Seer'? What kind of company makes a camera with a name like that? Don’t you have any well known cameras like Canon, Pentax, Olympus…’

‘I do. But trust me, none of them can do wonders like this guy here.’

Nate bit on his lower lip and looked at the Camera again. The lights in the room shone on its seemingly well polished steel areas. It was a good looking camera but he wasn’t even thinking of putting down his money for it because he actually wanted to buy a cheaper portable point-and-shoot camera.

‘I can’t afford it.’

The man leaned forward with a smile.

‘I never even told you the price.’

‘So what’s it worth?’

‘It’s worth how much you can afford.’

Nate couldn’t believe his ears. He looked at the camera and back at the man again.

‘Excuse me, but don’t mistake me for some ‘yahoo yahoo boy’. I have only 15K here and that’s not enough to buy the cheapest professional camera.’

‘That’s true. But not in this case.’

‘Is this a stolen camera?’

The man laughed.

‘Of course not. It’s actually a unique camera that’s undergoing a test-run and I’m giving it to you to try it out.’

Nate snorted disbelievingly.

‘For 15K? Bite me!’

The man pushed the camera closer to him and Nate felt the urge to own such a gadget building inside him. The man leaned on the table, a sincere look playing through the slight wrinkles on his face.

‘Forget the money. Take it for a test run for the next two weeks. Give me a call anytime you’ve got issues concerning its operation. Here’s my card with my phone numbers.’

Nate gave him a shocked look.

‘Bros, you’re not even bothered that I might not return it?’

The man scoffed, reached into a drawer under the table and brought out an unused cardboard box and placed the camera in it and handed it to Nate.

‘You’ll return it.’

The sincerity in the man’s voice shook Nate a little. It was so strong that Nate believed that he would return it. He held tightly to the box, hardly believing his luck.

‘What about its manual? It must have come with one.’

‘Trust me. You don’t need one.’

Somehow Nate believed him. 

‘Thanks sir, thanks Mr…,’ he flipped over the business card, ‘Mike?’

‘My pleasure, Nate. Enjoy the camera.’

Seconds later they both walked towards the shop entrance. Mike opened the door, bid Nate a final farewell then locked up the shop from the inside and disappeared through the door behind the desk.

Nate held tightly to the box and walked quickly. He was still in a daze. He couldn’t believe his luck. His mind ran through the drama that just took place in Mike’s shop.

He froze when something suddenly dawned on him.

He had never introduced himself to Mike. 

So how did the man know his name?

He glanced down the corridor he had just emerged from, thoughts racing through his befuddled mind.

What the heck was going on?

To be continued...

© Lolu Kush (Afronuts) - Story
© Kimson Masters - Illustrations

The Chronicles X - The Camera

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, January 23, 2009

‘Nathanieli!...Nathanieli oh!!’

‘Yes Mama!’ Nate growled under his breath. The old lady would soon be the death of him. She seemed to need his attention every minute. And he hated the way she always called his full name with her indigenous Yoruba accent. 
He minimized the Adobe Photoshop window on his laptop and put the system on sleep option. 

His grandmother was sitting on one of her white plastic chairs on the verandah chewing nuts from a jar while listening to an old radio and watching the street urchins across the road make an ass out of a half-dead agama lizard.

‘Mama you called?’ 

‘Nathaniel, it’s already 4.30pm.’

‘Okay Mama.’ 

He understood what it meant. It was time to drive her to her association meeting in her old beat-up Mercedes Benz 280. His parents, uncles and aunts had tried persuading the old woman to give up the jalopy for the new Hyundai accent they had just bought for her but it seemed Granny had an emotional attachment to her old ride which she had owned years before her retirement from the civil service. The Hyundai just sat in her compound, covered in dust and flower buds falling from the tree in the compound.

Nate had looked forward to driving the car but Grandma never let it come to pass. Thus the car lay there for months.
Nate tried diabolical ways to make her go for the new car; he sabotaged the Benz several times but the old woman wouldn’t budge. She would wait for repairs to be completed on the car, take a taxi or cancel her outing for the day. 
He planned stealing the keys and taking the new car out for a spin but it never happened. Grandma had hid the keys so well that Nate was convinced she had flushed it down the toilet.


Twenty minutes later, Ekaete, who doubled as housekeeper and cook, swung open the gates and the old Benz chugged out of the compound with Nate at the wheels and Granny in the front passenger seat. 
As he drove out of the neighborhood, his saw Efe walking down the road. She wore a pair of navy blue jeans, a yellow top and a navy blue denim jacket. Perched demurely on her head was a face cap. She carried a handbag in one hand and held a black book in the other. Nate didn’t need a second guess to know it was a bible.

He watched her as she got nearer and tooted the car horn. She saw him, smiled and threw a wave greeting. He waved back with a sigh. 

Nate had a crush on Efe. 

Efe was pretty, friendly, outgoing and fun to be with. They met and became friends when he had come to stay with his grandmother during a school break from the University. He could have spent any school break at home with his parents and siblings but ever since he had bumped into Efe, he grew more interested in spending his break at Grandma’s.

Yes, he had a crush on Efe. But Efe had a crush on church.

Each time he tried to empty the contents of his heart she would smartly twist the whole conversation into a sermon. 
The day she invited him for an outing he was excited. He was finally going out on a date with her! His joy was short-lived when they were joined by more of her female friends and they all ended up at a fellowship meeting. He wasn’t expecting more company and just wasn’t cut out for all the religious stuff.
He had read bible stories as a little boy but as he grew up, he dismissed them for fables or fairy tales. His parents didn’t help matters. They were way too busy to teach him the reality of the scriptures.

Efe...the want of her was seriously crushing him.

‘Nathaniel, what’re you looking at? Will you face front or do you want to get us killed?’ His grandmother’s voice snapped him back into reality.

‘Sorry Mama.’

....................................................................................................................

Efe was on her bed reading a journal when her mobile phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. It was Nate.

‘Nate hi. Wassup?’

‘Hello Efe. How you doing? Just felt like hearing your voice.’

‘My voice? Hmm…is it really that worth listening to?’

‘Of course it is. I’m always excited whenever I hear your voice.’

‘I’m not convinced.’

‘Aaww come on, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. What can I do to prove it to you?’

A brief silence from the other end of the phone, then he heard her sigh then speak.

‘Come to the fellowship with me tomorrow. That’s all the proof I need’

Smartass. What won’t she do to drag his butt to church?

Efe listened for his reply but only heard him muttering to himself in the background.

‘Nate, are you cursing?’

‘Eh? Er..no.’ He lied.

‘So what do you say? Are you coming with me?’ She had this sweet childish plea in the tone of her voice that had a crazy effect on Nate.

‘Are your friends going with us?’ 

‘No. Just the two of us.’

Nate felt sweet butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Just the two of us sounded more like Yes, I'll marry you.

‘So, are you coming with me?’ Efe’s voice snapped him out of the reverie.

‘Sure…sure I will.’

‘Thanks for agreeing to come. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Later then’

‘Err…Yeah, later.’

She hung up. 

Nate pocketed his phone and scratched his head. 
He was in a mixed state of euphoria and worry.

He was excited that he was going to have a time out with Efe but he wasn’t happy that it was going to be in a church. He paced to and fro waiting for his grandma’s meeting to end. He still planned to get to Otigba to buy a new digital camera that evening and she was holding him up. He had been postponing the buying but at this point he wasn’t going to wait anymore because it was an opportunity to capture his first official outing with Efe on Camera.

To be continued....

© Lolu Kush (Afronuts) - Story
© Kimson Masters - Illustrations