Simply For Size-Plus Sisters

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I remember way back I used to dislike plus-sized women and thought they were what a woman would be if she wasn’t pretty. That was my fallacious and outrageous thinking until I met one and fell in love with her. That moment, I knew I was a moron to have had beef for big boned ladies. 
And when I questioned myself – how did I end up liking what I initially despised, I found out that she was very confident and happy with the way she looked and as a result took time to package her looks with striking make-up and outstanding couture. Yeah…she knew how to dress not just to kill but to hack your heart to pieces. And I followed her like a dog on a leash; totally love-struck and wanting every piece of her. 

Time to time I come across plus-sized beauties who remind me of this old flame and I appreciate them more than ever. Black celebrity Monique has redefined what it means to be ‘flabulous’ with projects like the movie ‘Phat Girls’; Oyin of blogsville has showcased her lifestyle with such adventure and glamour, you can’t help liking her – with her combination of smartness, pretty looks with outgoing nature plus the fact that she knows how to look real good (thanks for those photos!). 
I won’t be surprised if she’s seen the site or patronized the outfit called Simply Be. (click on the link to go there). 

If you’re a plus-sized lady on blogsville, you need to check out the fabulous stuff on this site which encourages you to ‘simply be’ your true glamourous self. From dresses, tops, jeans, jackets, trousers, lingerie to sports wears and foot wears, they’ve got some amazing stuff; cool clothing catalogue and collections. 
Check out the ‘Animal Instinct’ collection, browse the ‘Sci-Fi' range, get a load of the ‘Salon Girl’ get-up. I’ve seen some of these on a plus-size lady and she looked so cool I had to remind myself that I was married.

Okay, it’s not like I’m gonna try fatten up my wife to transform her into the plus-sized category ‘cause she doesn’t have a body structure for that. But hey, I think other sized women will also get some good stuff on there. 

So if you’re flabulous and phat in the house, show them how sweet and sultry you can look by simply being yourself!

Foto Caption Friday

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, August 21, 2009

Take a good look at these funny pictures and caption them.

The funniest caption will win a.....okay, I'll keep that a secret. Lets see who wins first!

I'll try to do this every friday.

Foto 1

Foto 2

Foto 3

Image source: The Chive

Can you judge a future by it's present?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, August 17, 2009

Today, each time I come across a little kid, I just shiver, trying to imagine whether he or she is going to turn out into a positive outcome of their generation. Sometimes its hard to believe that innocent and cute looking kids could turn into societal wrecks or examples of what you're thankful your life isn't.

It's just amazing how each person turns out at the end. I guess this brings to light the truth in the quote that goes: 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. In this case, would it be right to say 'don't judge a kid's future by it's present'?

Let the pictures below speak. Who would have believed these girls are what they are today?

Source: Strangecelebrities.com

The Critters beneath your sheets

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, August 10, 2009

I’ll never forget one cool breezy night on campus, I couldn’t get into my room in one of the halls of residence because a roommate had accidentally made off to an overnight outing with the room key leaving me without a place to lay my head for the night. I hated the idea of asking guys in neighboring rooms to let me crash with them so I decided to go sleep on one of the big sofas in one of the lounges. 

The lounge had many sofas lined up for students who wanted to chill out and watch the TV or just hand around. I picked a neat one, dusted it with my hankie and lay down to savour the sweetness of sleep beckoning to me.

I woke up quite earlier than I usually would…then my body began to itch. I scratched and scratched. Then I noticed the small swellings all over my body. They didn’t look like mosquito bites. I knew they weren’t. And besides, there were no mosquitoes in the lounge. I looked at where I slept. There seemed to be nothing crawling on the sofa. Then where on earth did these bites come from?

Later I checked up on them and discovered they were everyone’s nightmare when you least expect.

You hardly get to see them but they are there, lurking in the great chasm that serves as the final resting place for your weary head after a hard days work or when you just retire for the night.

They come unnoticed and they attack without warning. They turn some skins into bloody spotted designs, others into swollen welts scattered across the surface. 

They make you begin to dread lying on the most comfortable furniture in your home because they seem to love residing deep within anything comfortable. 
And boy, do their bites itch like crazy!

Welcome to the world of those tiny critters known as BED BUGS.

So how do you stop that itching, and get rid of these venomous cretins? Bed bugs can really be a pain in the ass- as tiny as these buggers are, they can make life a nightmare for you.

But thanks to the internet, you can always get info that’ll help. 
I’ll recommend The Bed Bugs guide site. There you’ll get all the info you need to know about You can never tell if these critters have begun breeding in your home. The only way they’ll announce their arrival is after you received a welcome message a bites scattered all over your skinsies. So it really makes a whole lot of sense to be ready to stop them before they decide to camp in your home. 

The Bed Bugs guide site is loaded with all the info you need and also pictures and accounts of how other people dealt with the menace. I’ve taken their tips in handy and I’m keeping clear of those little devils.

Crazy stuff people say - The Lion & the Warthog

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I happen to come across this funny video which is also on youtube and didn't only laugh at its content but at the kind of comments that followed. I just couldn't resist putting it up.

Imagine the hilarious comments!

"Thats not a warthog,it's my wife."

"Poor Pumba, he stinks so much not even the lioness wants to eat him."

"The "pig" scared the stripes right off that "tiger"."

"the lıon ıs muslım....muslıms dont eat pork"

"even the lion knows how dangerous it is to eat pork, coz warthogs eat shit"

"what the hell wrong wth you lion dont you want to eat me?"

"The lioness was having an off day"

Car Wars - Attack of the Clones

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, July 16, 2009

'Is this original or Taiwan?’

The above statement is a regular parlance in market places in Nigeria. The name Taiwan’ in question actually refers most times to the fact that the product being inquired is an Asian version of an original. In the past Taiwan products were so plenty in contrast to originals in Nigeria, that the name stuck, even when other Asian products that impersonated products began to enter the market.

Today, Asian technology has become notorious for ‘cloning’ original products and no matter how hard they try to hide it, it’s downright obvious. Initially, it was electronics that were being cloned, but they’ve gone way further – they now clone cars! Though this is not a new development, but here in Nigeria, the Asian car makers seem to being enjoying patronage as their vehicles are flooding the Nigerian auto market, and we are beginning to see all manner of attempts to copy originally existing cars.

Recently, I came across an article online about cars that attempt to clone well established brands. A Chinese automobile company, Zhejiang Jonway, some time ago introduced a car called ‘UFO’ which was nothing but a copycat of Toyota’s ‘Rav 4’.

Toyota Rav4 - The Original

Zhejiang Jonway UFO - The Clone

Shuanghuan Automobile, another Chinese auto manufacturer also introduced the ‘CEO’ a vehicle that bore a striking resemblance to BMW’s X5.

BMW X5 - The Original

Shuanghuan CEO - The Clone

You’d think cloning high – range vehicles known for crafted performance was where it stopped but what would you say about the new Geely GE luxury sedan that was unveiled recently at a Shanghai Motor Show? This was a serious copycat of the famous Rolls Royce phantom! 

Rolls Royce Phantom - The Original

Geely GE - The Clone

I  rummaged the internet more and got more shockers. Apparently, original brands have more than one clone culprits. I discovered that the GE wasn't the only one that 'copycat-ed' the rolls royce. The clones are almost countless!

Hongqi HQD (Another Clone) and Rolls-Royce Phantom (The Original)

Chevrolet Spark (The Original) and Chery QQ (The Clone)

Now this was way too much alike. They're almost like the same thing! CMEC City Smart (Clone) and DaimlerChrysler Smart Car (Original)

Are these clones an attempt to create cars that look very much like originals but happen to be cheaper? If I know the Asian market well, they’ve been known for that in all their inventions. Anything that is cloned has always been a cheaper version of an original – and cars are not left out. That’s seems to be the benefit of buying a clone; owning something close to the expensive real thing. 

But while that may be a benefit to some, it’s an obstacle to makers of the original models.

The development hasn’t been sitting well with them. The Germans automobile manufacturer of BMW is pursuing legal action against the Chinese manufacturer. Rolls-Royce officials promptly got on the horn to their lawyers after clapping their eyes on the GE. 
Why won’t they? Imagine the price difference of similar looking cars - an estimated £30,000 – around $44k USD – for the Geely GE versus £250,000/$365k for the Phantom! And the likeness is so strong that few are likely to confuse the two vehicles. Also a brand like the GE may negatively affect the perception of the Phantom brand.

For me, I don’t think I’d like to own a cloned car. I prefer to own an original. If I can’t get a brand new original (without a car loan, ‘cause I hate loans!), I’ll go for a fairly used one.

To see more shocking lookalikes, click here.

Sources:

www.automotoportal.com

www.autospies.com

www.carbodydesign.com

Nikola Tesla - Happy Birthday to a forgotten genius

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, July 10, 2009

Many people may not think of today as a day to remember except if its someone's personal birthday.

I choose to remember today and mark it on my blog because it's the day an unsung hero, the man who invented the 21st century was born.

I'm talking of Nikola Tesla.

Each time you switch on that light, fix a fluorescent bulb, do an X-ray, listen to a radio, use any wireless equipment and so many other things, you are enjoying the legacies of this extra-ordinary man.

Tesla saw ahead of his contemporaries, he had so many inventions that would have changed history if the likes of Thomas edison, J.P. Morgan and the scientific community had not stifled his efforts. There are many inventions that Tesla wanted to embark on that would change the way we harness electricity and use it that never saw the light of day. 

Tesla was a scientific wizard, an extra-ordinary genius. His discovery of the AC current made Edison's DC current almost unreliable. The AC current proved more superior and is what the world uses today to generate electricity.

If you don't know about this man, you need to. Almost every technology we use today has a reference point to a Tesla invention. Today, Tesla appears on the Serbian currency despite the fact that he died in poverty, forgotten by an ungrateful and wicked world.

Just watch this short touching clip below to get a quick knowledge of the man whom the world tried to steal his efforts but truth can never be hidden for long. You'll be shocked at what this man has really done.

Happy Birthday to a great man, Nikola Tesla!

Fatherhood Blues

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The first time that strange feeling hit me was when I realized I was going to be married. Wow, so I’m gonna become a mister with a missus to bear my name; I’m about to become somebody’s hubby.

I felt like a Jambite who had just gained admission into the University of matrimony. Like every newbie, I got to learn what is and what’s not. And I did fine, I blended into the mix like milk blends into a hot cuppa coffee.

Next, I move from being a Hubby to being a Daddy and I’m excited and at the same time kinda scared – that strange feeling again. What kind of Dad am I gonna end up becoming? I started reading books, listening to messages and grasping anything that talks about fatherhood just to be all ready.
But it’s my babygirl who ends up calming my fears. 
Each time I carry her, all of a sudden I’m emotional. She gives me her wide eyed baby stare and seemed to say to me “Don’t worry Daddy, it’s gonna be alright”.
And I smile and hold her closer.

Today, she’s the reason I make sure I close on time at work, she’s the reason I look forward to going home, she’s the reason I look forward to going to see her grandparents (my parents), she’s also a reason I want to drive the car even when I normally wouldn’t feel like ‘cause I love to watch her in her car seat. She’s the reason for a lot of things.

I still can’t understand why some Dads end up abusing or destroying the life of their children. 
It’s one thing to be a Dad, its another thing to be a Father (Note that they are twoThat child sees you as a role model, as a small god to look up to. If she’s a girl, you’ll be the first date she’ll ever have and its what she sees in you that will inform the kind of men she’ll look out for (provided you bring her up well). If he’s a boy, you’ll be the first best friend and mentor in what it takes to be a real man (provided you are one).

Children are a gift. Ever since I watched my wife grow in size in pregnancy till those powerful moments in the delivery room and the first glimpse of little Timi, I have come to appreciate children more than ever. Each time I see a little child, my heart skips a beat and I’m drawn to relate with them more than I used to before. And I know its because I’m now a different person; I’m a father.  

Honor to whom due...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, June 26, 2009

I feel priviledged to have existed while this Legend lived - an unforgetable part of my childhood.

R.I.P

Wacko Jacko

1958 - 2009

Gala Seller from the US?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, June 18, 2009

LOL...okay this news hit the PM News tabloid like 3 days ago and it got me wondering...At least the headline did b4 I read the details. Click on the image to get a wind of what this dude was up to selling Gala on the streets of Lagos.

The voice audition is still on and it seems only SCOMISS is bold enough to dare it. Seems every other person's scared to try. lol.

Hey SCOMISS, I'm feeling ur rendition of 'tracy'! Seems you might be the one for the part since I haven't gotten any competitors on it.

Voice Auditions! - Who Do You Sound Like?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Recently, I’ve been working on a project with Kimson and would like to feature blogville folk on an experiment. What we need now are voices so we’d like to audition for voices.

So all you gotta do is check out these characters: Ganz, Peter, Shedrach, Tracy, Sandra and Azeez, pick one or two or all, and try to sound like them judging by their looks.

All you have to say is: ‘Hi I’m (Name of character) and I’m representing on the Kush Chronicles!’ then sign off with your blog name or real identity.

To record your voice is simple. Just do it on the Snapvine recorder on this blog or record and upload. You can click on the ‘Get your own’ button on on the Snapvine player on this blog as shown below in circle to go to the Snapvine page.

You can voice-imitate as much as you like. Recording is simple as long as you've got a phone, recordable MP3 player or a Laptop that records directly. 

Y’all better take part in this ‘cause there’s a surprise coming at the end of it when the review of each voice imitation comes out.

So don’t just comment, drop a voice for as many of these characters you can imitate.

We're waiting!

What happened in May?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I never posted a single entry throughout the month of May.

Would you like to know why?

Here's the reason why...

Meet Oluwatimilehin (Timi)...my beautiful daughter, born on the 15th of May, 2009.

Now you know why I went AWOL!

Naija Music Scene - Sunshade Copycats

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 23, 2009

Switch on the television today sometime around lunch hour and almost all the local TV stations in Lagos are showing musical video shows parading Nigerian artistes belting out their tunes in the setting of beautifully produced videos. Everyone seems to be doing it real good with their videos; even the wackiest of artistes manage to shoot something colorful.

The Nigerian music industry is definitely going somewhere but a lot of Nigerian artistes still need to learn a few things and get a few facts right.

There are way too many copycats on the music scene. I won’t mention names but by the time I’m through, when you see them, you’ll know them. Many artistes don’t really have solid identities. They just copy off on what some other artiste is doing and replicate it on their own fort.
Here’s what I mean – Today the artiste called D’banj is not only known by his name but he has A LOOK that has become elements of his brand personality; the dark shades (till today, I’m not sure I’ll recognize the dude without shades), his mannerisms which have certain slogans acquainted with it. His right-hand man, Don Jazzy, is well known for strutting about with a walking staff and a face cap or felt hat. There is a style to the way this duo present themselves. Right from the beginning, DBanj started with shades and ever since then, it’s become part of his persona.

Today, many upcoming artistes are now sporting shades. Almost every video I catch a glimpse of has the performing artiste wearing shades. Why? Na by force? Or are your eyes too ugly to look at? Or is it because that’s what they think it takes to look cool? As far as I’m concerned, it’s not the shades that stand you out but the way you package and brand yourself.

What are you known for? What’s iconic about you?

Ruggedman is known for wearing his iconic headwarmer (He looked rather odd in a video where he wasn’t wearing it), Weird MC will always be known for the funny hat she always has on her head, Lagbaja is unmistakable for being the masked wonder, Asa’s simple dreadlocks with her ordinary eye glasses seemed to have become her personality. Bouqui is known for sporting short-cropped beautifully dyed hair, GT the guitar man, is known for his fedora and guitar.

And then there are the artistes who have not bothered much about giving a particular definition to their style and that’s because their music is doing that for them – M.I (Who looks better without shades than he does with it), Sound Sultan (whose name also happens to be a powerful trademark), Dare Art Alade (who doesn’t even need unecesaary blings or shades to look good), Djinee (who’s bright eyes, babyface, voice and music style defines his brand) … and the list goes on.
What I take from this is simple – find out what works for you as an artiste. If your personal style can’t be iconic, let your music style be. And again you could have both.

Today, many upcoming artistes are wearing sunshades in their videos as if it has become the artiste uniform to looking cool, its also making so many artistes look alike.

I’m not against wearing shades but for goodness sake, artistes should quit using them all the time in the videos. Its becoming way too overrated and not the only element that defines being cool. There are other ways. Upcoming Artistes should quit being ‘sunglass copycats’ and start getting creative about the way they strut their stuff in their videos.

Premonition

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Some call it instinct. Some call it conscience. Others call it the sixth sense.
But I know it is as the spirit. It’s divine and God put it there in us that we may be able to connect to His, which is known as the Holy Spirit. 

Many have taken it for granted. Many have ignored its relevance or doubted its existence.
Some who happen to know about it just conclude that it’s a psychic thing.

Everybody has it. But many don’t know, and many have suppressed it. Many are too busy to even notice that it’s there. But some have raised it and connected through it to the Almighty God through His Holy Spirit.


December last year, I was driving with my wife to go see my parents for a family get-together. It had rained earlier in the day and the streets were still wet from the heavy showers that had hit the entire city of Lagos. My wife, Choco (pet name) was already about four months pregnant and was eagerly looking towards meeting her in-laws. We cruised steadily through the traffic which progressed at a slow pace due to on-going construction being done on the road. 
I spent time watching the cars lined up next to me move gradually. Of the two lanes formed on our side of the road, one seemed to be moving better than the other. So there was need for us to change from the static lane to the moving one.
I edged the Nissan out of my lane, trafficating for allowance into the moving lane. A white Toyota Corolla was alongside me. I decided to get behind it if the car behind it would let me.
Eventually, I was allowed in and soon we were moving.

I branched off a Y-junction that entered into the interiors of the neighbourhood. I wanted to take a short cut and cut off the rest of the hold-up. As I drove down the road, I noticed the Corolla was ahead of me, going the same way. 

Suddenly Choco jumped and gasped in fright. I looked at her and asked what the matter was.

‘I don’t know. I suddenly had this quick feeling of fear, like my heart jumped in panic.’

‘Sure it’s not the baby?’

‘I don’t think so. I just had this quick feeling about something dreadful’

‘You’re covered by the blood of Jesus.’ I answered prayerfully.

We were almost reaching our destination. What could go wrong? All the same I slowed down as I drove. There was no need to be in a hurry.

As I turned round a street corner, I saw the Corolla screech to a halt and the doors fling open. Next three men armed with machine guns came down. Immediately people around the nieghbourhood took off in panic.

‘Oh my God. Choco…armed robbers!’

‘Blood of Jesus!’

Just as one of the robbers was about turning to face us, my hand hit the auto gear shift to reverse instantly. My foot hit the gas pedal and the car shot backwards. I skidded round the corner, turned the car in a near 180 degrees and sped back the way I came screaming at other oncoming cars that robbers were attacking on the street. Choco was muttering prayers and speaking in tongues under her breath while I gassed the car through the streets dodging careless pedestrians and okada riders.

It was not until I had turned into the major road at the Y-junction that I relaxed and drove steadily. A throbbing headache suddenly sounded through my head – the after effects of the adrenaline that had surged through me the instance I reacted to what I saw.

I called my parents and told them what happened and that we’d come around tomorrow instead.

I was never going to forget one fact. Choco had the premonition…sudden fear that something was wrong. And she was right.

I don’t want to imagine what would have happened to us – me, my wife and our unborn child. Thank God we had a warning from a divine presence…

Some call it instinct. Some call it conscience. Others call it the sixth sense.
I call it The Holy Spirit

Aaarrggh!! Parakeet tagged me!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 02, 2009

I run away from taggings!!
But Parakeet had to hold my butt down by awarding me this honest scrap thing and tagging me to say 10 Honest things about myself.

Okay, here goes.




1. Started writing and drawing in primary school. Wrote a lot of storybooks and illustrated them, bound them with staplers or needle and thread, and had them thrown in the trash when my Mum got tired of me litering the house with them. 

2. I’m addicted to plantain. I’m also addicted to garri and anything that goes well with it!

3. Learnt how to drive by stealing my Dad’s car whenever he wasn’t around. I had two reasons for wanting to learn how to drive...to keep up with the joneses (guys who gained respect in high school for being able to cruise a car) and to get with chicks. 

4. Got excessively drunk for the first time in my life on palm wine and harassed a female teacher during my youth service. 

5. Almost died on 3 occassions in my life – in high school, on campus and during youth service. Could it be that my surname is a prophecy that’s been saving my life?

6. Faked commitment to some of my Ex-es just to have a relationship. 

7. My wife is eight months pregnant and I’m scared shitless and excited at the same time. How does it feel like to be a ‘Popsie’? Please share abeg.

8. Used to suck my finger up till my JSS in high school.

9. I have serious beef for blogs that write about nothing but sex. Isn’t it an overrated issue? 

10. I used to have a very serious crush on a particular blogger on blogsville. Want to know who she is? lol...I leave that for you to guess!

I guess these are honest enough?
So therefore, I tag the following people:

YNC

Ugandan Girl

Favoured Girl

Naughty Eyes

Sha

Olufunke

Archiwiz

Here are the instructions for the above tagged folks!

1.You must brag about the award
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. 
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

I hope I've done all I'm supposed to do.

Refusing to keep up with the joneses

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Have you ever been in the postion of watching other people cruise cars that are higher in terms of luxury, performance and model than yours and still felt good that you at least have a set of wheels to be proud despite not keeping with the joneses?

Well, thats how I've been feeling. I don't drive a high end BMW or a Super benz. I don't cruise a luxury lexus or a powerful VW toureg. Nope. I don't.

I move about in a humble 1995 Nissan Primera

But it wasn't until I came across this funny Ad that I further got to appreciate the kind of ride I cruise.

Just take a look at this Ad and you'll know what I mean...

LOL...Will somebody who's proud of the wheels he could readily afford (as of now) holla at whatamsayin'?

I just love my primera...