'Naija's Leaders Mask the Truth' - Kenny Badmus

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 18, 2013

I had just watched the Ishaya Bako's documentary on Nigeria's corrupt leadership and the oil subsidy fraud titled 'Fuelling Poverty' which seriously enraged me. Then I came across this Facebook post by Kenny Badmus, Chief Imagination Officer of Orange Academy & also my Creative Director. He raised a very salient issue on the embroidering of the truth by our so-called leaders. Here's what he posted on Facebook on the 17th of April.

"Ok people, not that I'm weird but watching the CNN interview with Ngozi Okonjo on Amanpour's set last night gave me the creeps. Not because of all the things said by the honorable Minister but I'm afraid that Nigeria is cooked and ready for someone's breakfast, due to the lies we now tell ourselves. There's now a sick trend of people preaching positivism about the state of Nigeria; masking all the truths in high places and dishing out colored truths to the public and to ourselves. [ some rebranding project started by Prof Akinyuli ] Don't get it twisted, I believe in positivity. I preach that. However, we cannot be positive about a situation if we don't tell ourselves the home truth, first of all. I have seen Americans speak up against ill public issues on CNN; even facing the President. Same with England and other developed countries. 

Typical Q&A 

 

Q: Why is Nigeria very corrupt? 
A: Other countries are also corrupt, not only Nigeria. 

Q: Does Nigeria have improved electricity as submitted by Mr President? 
A: Yes, going by scientific research, 52% claims we are far better. Other developing countries also have power issues including South Africa and India; just that South Africa has invested a lot in that sector. 

Q: Why would the Government pardon a State fraudster ? 
A: Oh... I wrote a whole new book about Corruption and how we need to put good systems in place. 

Phew!

One day we will all wake up and we will find out we are cooked. We need to speak up against corruption in Nigeria while we still show our patriotism. We should love our country but we should expose lies in all the public places so we can move forward. That's how we show love to Naija. Dressing the issue only takes us 100 years backwards".

This is so true. I first actually noticed this with President Goodluck's rambling about power supply in Nigeria being okay on CNN while Christiane Amanpour exposed the fact that what he was claiming was the opposite from a vox pop carried amongst Nigerians. 

Have you seen the documentary 'Fuelling Poverty'? Check out the trailer...

I watched the full documentary and I fully understood more clearly the scam going on in the upper echelons of Naija leadership.Its available on youtube; click here to watch it.

The documentary is presently causing a lot of waves and controversy. It exposes so much that leadership is not finding it funny. Its even too late to stop it as it has gone viral.

  

Jumia co-founders featured in Forbes Africa

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, April 17, 2013

On the trail of successes they have achieved as one of the pioneers of online retail in Nigeria, co-founders of Jumia , Raphael Afaedor and Tunde Kehinde have been featured in April’s edition of Forbes Africa magazine. In this awe-inspiring piece the duo talk to Abisola Owolawi about finding their dream, rising against the odds, their challenges and their rise to building Nigeria’s number 1 online retailer.
In another exciting sequence, the website has grown to be the 5^th local content website in Nigeria and the customer’s number 1 online retailer of choice.

The 10 month retail store has seen exponential growth in size of baskets and traffic to its site. Inadvertently leading to growth in all areas of its operations from staff, fleet, warehousing facilities, to more recently the addition of 3 locations in Warri, Kaduna and Benin; an addition to those existing in Lagos, Abuja and Port-Harcourt.

“As Nigeria’s no.1 online retailer, Jumia will continue to pioneer the Nigerian retail market, with a vision to being the answer to retail both offline and online in sub-Saharan Africa. As a place for direct retail shopping online with limitless reach and audience, we have seen orders come in large numbers from every nook and cranny of Nigeria, and in our commitment to our customers and making good on our promises of on time for delivery, we are gradually expanding and gaining foothold in more cities across Nigeria”, explained co-founders Tunde Kehinde and Raphael Afaedor.

To view full article, click here.

To get a copy, click here for April’s edition of Forbes Africa magazine.

I just checked out the Jumia site recently and I have to say it was worth it. I initially thought it was a site for just purchasing stuff but I also found out that its a site that's selling stuff at favorably discounted prices and you also get it shipped free to your doorstep!

These days people are getting internet savvy and so very busy, the time to go buy some stuff or even go looking for it may just not be there. Jumia offers services to take off the burden off your shoulders. And do they have a lot on the site - I've been looking for some books to buy and just as I happened to surf by Jumia, I saw the book offerings for sale at well discounted prices. Not only will you find books by Nigerian authors, but ones by foreign authors as well.

One thing I can basically say about Jumia is that you'll definitely always come across stuff you need on there. Its a fast growing online shopping site that's offering lots more each passing day; holidays are never left out with discount and special offers. This is definitely becoming an e-retail force to reckon with.

So sit at your laptop or with your ipad and do some window shopping, you'll be amazed at how many of your needs you'll find on Jumia.

And kudos to Raphael and Tunde...you guys are making us Nigerians proud!

Signs of the Times 5 [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, April 13, 2013

This is the 5th of the funny photo series I collected titled Signs of the Times. I've always said it that there's comedy everywhere; on signboards, road signs, labels etc. Its just a matter of keeping an eagle eye out to spot one. I got some of these ridiculous pics online and I snapped some myself. You'd be amazed what you can find when you're on the lookout with your phone's camera about Naija. 

What manner of Fufu are they selling?
And is the rice they sell meant to be airborne or something?

Only in Naija will you find people who will break
the law under an enforcer's nose.

Naija people just love to add curses to stuff
...even if its a sign that's meant to teach you toilet etiquette.

I'd love to hug Jesus like that too
...but He wouldn't be a photoshopped painting.

This Naija movie, 'A Wish' has foreign actors starring in it?
Or was some knucklehead sleeping at his computer.

Gone are the days when plastic containers,
napkins et al were given as wedding souvenirs.
Now they're giving away bread too...I don't know if its Agege bread oh.

*Trying to imagine what a female computer looks like*
I give up!

Psquare now have a popcorn business...or is this a joke?

This is a wedding? Looks like a blockbuster Yoruba Nollywood
movie waiting to happen!

Hahaha...did you see the one above about LAWMA?
Yes...this is another one!

lol...I refuse to mention the name of this reputable news magazine,
although they tried to save their  butts with the notice below.

Seriously, I almost thought this was that drink called Smirnoff Ice.
This is Palmwine with packaging!

Hahaha...Got this from my cousin. A dating anniversary cake...na wah oh

Spot the anomaly in this banner.

Tribute to Iyanya's music...?

If don't know why this is a funny pix, google 'Zule Zoo'

The reason why he never won the election is clear on this poster...lol

Haa! What has Jesus got to do with beer?

Even fufu joints now have corporate arrangements.

One drug can do all that?
(click to enlarge and read it)

You can 'ping' on these products?

Quick ejaculation ke? This is what happens when English is someone's enemy!

Even if you no know book, you are qualified!

Just read...I can't shout...lol!

Protesting with Breasts: Aluta Breastalia? [With Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, April 09, 2013

By now you might have heard the news of the topless female activist group called ‘Femen’ that stormed the Hanover trade fair in Germany which Russian President Vladimir Putin was visiting on Monday along with the German Chancellor Angela Merkel. The women were there to protest the unfair jailing of feminist punk band, P***y Riot (Haba…see name!).

Activist lady with liver bares it all. Check out everyone's faces.

It’s not the first instant of such protests by women believed to belong to the ‘Femen’ group (Abeg, what kind of name is that – ‘Femen’? A hybridization of ‘Female’ and ‘Semen’?). They have done this in many places in different countries. I guess that says that they must have some sort of strong network. But that would probably be across Europe and America.

Topless activists = Pointless agenda?

Definitely not in Nigeria.  

Okay, there have actually been some cases but most of the time it involved indigenous old women and it had some fetish juju or traditional affiliation like we had in Ekiti and Ogun state some time ago. I have never heard of Nigerian ladies stripping half naked to protest.

Old mamas in Ekiti do the topless protest accompanied by traditional rites

There was a report that during the protest by UNILAG students on the decision to change the school’s name to MAULAG, some students protested half naked but that was just a story concocted over a photo that caught a pair of half-naked girls peeping at the protest from a hall of residence.  No student would ever dare let out her tatas to protest because they know very well that the objective would backfire on them.

Femen activists - voyeuristic photographers' dream come true.

But seriously…has this kind of boob-baring public protest ever worked? What is the sense in it? Ever since feminists started burning their bras, they seem to have also burned common sense along with it. No wonder womanists make more sense than them.

I’ve actually wondered what the aim of such so-called activists is. As a student back in the higher Institution, I’ve seen what it means to embark on a protest; those aggressive Aluta demonstrations were for a cause or the other. There were some actions and boycotts that were embarked on to enable the authority at hand to give in to their demands.

But how on earth is someone supposed to want to change his or her mind because some ladies decide to do an angry/aggressive strip tease before them? Does that turn out to be some sort of intimidation I don’t know about?

Take a look at the Vladimir Putin scenario as captured by this photographer.

Stupid lady made Putin's day instead of ruining it.

Check out Putin’s face, you can see that he was rather amused and entertained than harassed. According to reports, Putin had said he liked watching the pretty chicks show off their valuables. He later sarcastically thanked the women for calling the news media's attention to the gathering. The women, three in number, had found their way to the front of the president's entourage and stripped half naked before him shouting expletives full of F-words. Putin did not understand jack from all the mumbo jumbo they were saying. He just enjoyed the show.

Hahaha…just look at his face…Putin the Presidential Perv.

A.Y's Kim Kardashian Spoof - Hilarious! [Photo + Video]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, April 05, 2013

Fresh on youtube is this hilarious skit by A.Y the comedian. It was actually a spoof of Kim Kardashian's visit to Nigeria. On seeing the thumbnail picture I wondered who the actress who played Kim was till I saw that it was Juliet Ibrahim, a half-caste Ghanaian actress.

The video was really funny!

Juliet looked so much like Kim in an extra sun-tanned way. A.Y played multiple roles of Kanye West and Darey Art Alade. The video also spoofed elements of 'my Oga at the top' and Tuface Idibia's child-bearing notoriety. There was also a tribute to the big hips of Nigerian women.

The hilarious parts were those ones were Naija lingos and indigenious slangs popped up now and again.
It's a good watch and well produced spoof.

Okay let me not drop too many spoilers. You need to see it yourself if you haven't seen it.

Nice one AY!

Abi he no try?

The 'Gbagauns' of Yoruba Nollywood 3 [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 04, 2013

From the stables of our accidentally hilarious Yoruba arm of Nollywood comes another collection of 'gbagauns' which I gathered in an all round search on the internet. That is not to say I'm not on a lookout to capture any if I happen at anytime to see it on Yoruba Africa Magic.

The funny thing is that reading these grammatical blunders of subtitles make the person in the picture really look bad; even if they are speaking the correct thing, it looks as if they're not. Nobody sees the subtitle person, they only see the person on the screen. It just gives the funny impression that they can't speak good English.

So all Yoruba Nollywood actors and actresses take note - bad subtitlers may be ruining your reputation!

Sounds like an illiterate trying to quote
The King James version of the Bible. 

In real life this kind of gbagaun can make you lose chances of wooing a lady.

There wasn't really a gbagaun here but the use 'Sokoto' shows that
the subtitle person had no idea what the English  translation was.

Is he implying that Garri has replaced alcohol?

With a facial expression like that and a violent butchering of English,
she really does sound convincing.

What on earth is a Pomangene Juice? Is it another name for Zobo?

Peak? Is that a new phone slang? I would have said the subtitle person
missed  'S' before the 'Peak' but that would be unrealistic.

No gbagaun here actually but this scenario is kind of stupid and funny.

*Tries to get the meaning,. Starts to have an headache. Gives up*

Hahaha! See how they are messing up this fine girl's
rep with an insane gbagaun.

He wants to go stand before a mirror and hiss at himself?
Or am I missing something?

No gbagaun here but it was a funny scenario.
Spiderman makes a cameo appearance in a yoruba movie.

A shurty? What is that? Confused subtitle person
definitely didn't know how to express  what was being said.

Chickens are now suspect in intriguing situations.

He must have done it through time travel.
That's the only excuse for this grammatic shotgun

I had my university education in Nigeria and I know
 there's no 'Upper' in 'First class'! Who were they trying to fool?

Another time travel scenario where a lesson was taught
...or how do you explain the 'came?

Its official. You can now be arrested by mental police...abi?

No gbagaun here. But that retarded look coupled with
her ignorance was a priceless laugh.

Wow...so a thorough ass-whooping can make one a Picasso right?
Or are you saying 'fainted' with Hausa accent?

With a look like that on his face, it looks as if
he actually spoke this truncated English

And that about wraps it on this third installment of The 'Gbagauns' of Yoruba Nollywood. I'd still collect more if I could find though its getting hard to get them online. If you ever have one please feel free to send it to me at kushmond@yahoo.com.

Cheers y'all.