Misyarning by accident

Somewhere around Lagos an old woman is waiting to board a bus. A bus pulls up and the conductor begins to yell out its destination.

‘Amukoko! Amukoko! Enter with your change oh!’

The old woman suddenly charges at the conductor and admonishes him to keep quiet and stop shouting ‘Amukoko’.

The confused conductor avoids her thinking she must be a mad person. He jumps his bus and orders the driver to take off.

Another bus pulls up and this conductor calls out in a more husky voice thickened by massive consumption of ogogoro.

‘Aaamukokooo! Aaamukokoo!’

The elderly woman suddenly becomes incensed and launches out angrily at the conductor.

‘Shut up! Na Amukoko go kill you!’

The conductor was dumbfounded. He looked at his driver, the bewildered passengers and back at the old woman.

‘Ah ha…Mama wetin I do now?’

‘You dey shout Amukoko, you still dey ask me wetin you do?’

By now a crowd gathered to find out what the commotion was about. Apparently the word ‘Amukoko’ according to the old woman meant ‘T*t* water’ (Vagina secretion) in her own language!

In a country like ours with such a vast diversity of tribes, one word in one place could mean another thing elsewhere which probably means we should be careful how we say words and where we say them.

I was watching TV last week and saw the video of a Naija artiste called Jaywon. When I saw the title of the song (Tinko Angel) I burst into laughter. Maybe the title was meant to be a cool reference to the chick he was singing about but it got me wondering if he knew what ‘Tinko’ meant or he actually just thought it sounded cool.

As far as I was concerned, he shouldn’t have used that as the title because ‘Tinko’ is the name given to small pieces of goat meat that’s preserved in a dried up state. So is Jaywon calling his babe a small piece of dried-up goat meat?

What of the popular story of a Hausa man telling a Yoruba friend in Yoruba that he is grateful to the friend’s wife for giving him corn to eat – which because of the Hausa man’s accent sounded he was grateful to the friend’s wife for having sex? Unless you never went to a Nigerian secondary school you probably have never heard that story.

I could say we should watch what we say and know what they mean before we say it but what about the case of locations like ‘Amukoko’ ?

16 Screamer(s):

Myne's Birthday Photoshop!

How man ways can we say Happy Birthday to woman that's marking time in the sands of Naija's literary world? Okay...I missed the birthday by a day but I still decided to wish Myne a happy birthday by giving her a gift...so Kimson and I got together and started thinking what to do. We could have done a portrait for her but that would take time and birthday fever might expire by the time we finished.
So we thought of something else - why don't we do different photoshops of Myne's pic for her birthday?
I present to you our 'lazy effort' - the Myne Whitman Birthday Photoshop series...

This is the original photo of Myne

We call this the glitter version

We call this the pencil version

This is the charcoal version

Diffused version

Water Colored version

The 'pencil version' is our favourite.

Happy (belated) Birthday Myne Whitman!
From Kush & Kimson

17 Screamer(s):

Building Collapses in Maryland, Lagos.

A Building located in Maryland opposite Channels TV station Collapsed Yesterday.
Nobody was confirmed trapped in the building.

I've always seen this building and had never suspected
that it wasn't strong. Looks can surely decieve.

Images courtesy Edgal Enahoro. (Saharareporters)

2 Screamer(s):

British Comedy predicted Gadaffi's Death in 1987

It definitely looks like a coincidence but I seriously doubt it. This is not the first time that a movie or sitcom would predict something that would happen later on in the annals of history. There have been many instances of these 'strange coincidences' like the TV action drama titled 'The Lone Gunmen' which predicted the World Trade Centre bombing, a 50 year old cartoon which predicted the economic depression that happened a few years back, Stanley Kubrick's 1968 movie '2001, A Space Odyssey' which showcased the Ipad years before Steve Jobs made it happen, the 1989 sci-fi blockbuster 'Back to the Future 2' amazingly predicted a vast number of things currently existing today.

That Moammar Gadaffi is dead today is no longer news and everywhere people are talking about it. Strangely, an old British Sitcom in 1987 predicted Gadaffi's death! Though it missed the month, it still got the year - 2011! Another strange coincidence. And from the way St. Peter spoke, it sounded as if there was a plan to eliminate him at the arranged date...'Colonel Gadaffi...dead at last!'

Check it out in the video below...

Creepy isn't it?

0 Screamer(s):


Hooray! Today marks my WHITE WEDDING ANIVERSARY.
I'm so grateful to the most high for giving me the best wife a man can have
and for blessing it with the most georgeous kids a father can have.

Oh...and that pix is the actual pic taken at our wedding and not a library photo
...that is to say, you are actually seeing my hand and wifey's hand in blissful matrimony right there.
3 years and it just gets sweeter!

14 Screamer(s):

The Pastor with a...purpose

Been busy as heck this month and the last. That's why my blog has been on partial hiatus...However, I never forgot this precious place.

I came across this video that got me cracking. Seriously, this is the kind of show I would love to start in Naija; a whole new kind of comedy involving spoofing puppets...lol!

Okay, God's work is a serious matter and I don't joke with it but when you come across fakes, you can't help laffing at how mugu people can be!

2 Screamer(s):