Happy 100th Birthday to My Grandpa!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Yes! My one and only surviving grandpa just clocked a 100 years old on two days ago!

When my Mum called a month ago from the UK and told me to have a meet with my siblings and decide what we were gonna do for grandpa (who's also a great-grandpa to our kids - all my siblings, except the last born who isn't married yet have kids) since he was clocking 100 years, 

I was like 'Mum are you for REAL?? Grandpa is now 100?' Boy! That's a century old! And the man is as fit as a fiddle....I tap into that longevity anointing. 

Why I dey worry sef? It runs in the family - like my Dad who's seated next to Grandpa who would be clocking 70 this year and still drives himself, and moves and travels around a lot. When we walk side by side, I can't even keep up with him! Boy, I need to reduce my intake of pounded yam or something...lol.

I've not been blogging as I should thanks to many matters arising but I couldn't let this one pass by...oh I should have even posted it on Monday and today is wednesday...aaargh! Well, its the big 100 we're talking about here; even if I posted it next week its still a big deal...abi?

Happy Birthday once again and Many Happy returns to my awesome grandpa!

This Blog Aint Dead Yet...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, February 25, 2015

And I doubt it will ever be.

Okay, I've been MIA on a large scale and been off for like...4 months? Hmmm....I actually stayed away because of so many things keeping me seriously busy like never before. Now its beginning to look like I need someone to help me upload my stuff while I get busy with other projects.

But who can really do it the way I'd like it?

I was on holiday last year December at my Uncle's and my cousin was talking about how RICH my blog was and how WELL I disect issues on here and open up people's minds. She sis it so well I started feeling guilty playing truancy on the site.

Also my absence on Naija Stories got some folks wondering where I was at as I was seriously missed. Somebody came up with the idea of a final effort to bring me back online by offering to make me judge a competition.

I guess that worked.

Searching through my 'cobwebbed' emails, I came across the mail

It seems like it has been forever and ages past that I saw you on NS. What happened? Are you well? Is it work, family, kids, wife or wives that’s kept you away? or did you simply got bored with us?
I still have you to thank for how well I have made it so far in my writing since I joined NS.
I have gained an approval from NS to host a competition. This completion will be for the writers who are ranked as newbies and beginners.
I know for a fact that even a glimpse of your presence back on NS will bring positive result so I am asking that you be one of the judges to pick out the finalist.
I honestly hope you can take up this offer. If yes, reply me back.
Thank you Mr Afronuts.

I think that was what finally woke me out of my Cyber-slumber....that along with the Naija music video I came across yesterday and discovered was another copycat video! Will blog about that soon,

Oh...and also, I've been getting mails of articles wanting to feature on the blog...those also got me awake.

Now let's get this blog, NS and twitter cracking for the new year!

Oh...and about that pix up there, it doesn't stand for anything actually, its just a funny looking pix of an igbo man I'm currently using on my Blackberry messenger dp!

First things first....

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, January 06, 2014

I am officially starting the first post on the blog again 

for this new year. 

This is year is loaded...I can feel it.

Compliments of the year to you all!

Today Means Something to Me...

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, May 03, 2013

It's the day I was born! It's my birthday today!

Me at 1 year old.

Happy Birthday and many happy returns to an awesome me!

What? you don't think I'm awesome? well some people think I am...Almighty God and my sweet family, nuclear and partially extended. 

A.Y.

People say A.Y and I bear striking resemblance as babies. 

Is it true?

When School is in...and the Fees are Killing!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Courtesy www.myowndp.com

As I approached the gate that led to the estate where my office was situated, I noticed a small hold-up was already building. Initially it looked unusual then it suddenly occurred to me that the hold-up was caused by one of those expensive private schools where all the children had to be dropped by drivers in their different rides. In all my lifetime of going to and fro from the office, I have never for once met any kid from that school going home on barefoot or catching a commercial bus home from school; definitely a school for well-to-do families. 

I laughed as I had a flashback of my own childhood days when I always had to go home from school with my five siblings…and we had to always board those notorious vehicles known as Molue buses. I always hated going to school because of the thought of how I was going to cruise those smelly monstrous molue buses. Life wasn’t a bed of roses.

Then the fact also hit me that schools had started resuming.

I suddenly remembered the challenges I was having with the expensive private school my daughter, Timi, was attending. The fees were breaking my neck and we were struggling to meet up.  Eventually when we did a review of expenses and debts incurred after a session ended in the school and I was not smiling at all!

Thus the decision to change my baby girl’s school came up.

Wifey did not dig the idea at first but on seeing the extent of damage the fees would do to us, she grudgingly agreed. She’ll be starting at another private school which is cheaper and still good…I don’t care what anybody says…our decision is final!

It was not easy making this decision but thank God for an article I read on Simply Mee’s blog which did a proper breakdown on this phenomenon that many parents go through. If you’re a parent with a kid that’s in an expensive school I’ll highly recommend you read this post; its wrought with truth and food for thought on an issue that’s affecting many homes and putting a strain on marriages.

So check it out on Simply Mee’s blog…it’s worth the read!  

The Crap Scare

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 09, 2012

Warning!

Scatological Article!

I’m a finicky when it comes to toilet issues.


Oh yes…and that’s because CRAP scares the hell out of me.

You’re probably wondering how I manage that with two kids who have a lot of that to offer shey?

Oh I do manage! Like, I don’t look at Timi’s crap when I empty her potty into the water closet or I almost close my eyes when it’s my turn and I’m changing A.Y.’s diapers.

Even my own shit scares me.

Anytime I take a dump, I don’t even look at it more than once before I flush it.

But then once in a while you must have grubbed excessively and on the fateful day you decide to visit the convenience you ‘let out’ a monstrousity that would make you wonder how that ‘thing’ managed to come out of you – that’s if you did not spend time groaning and sweating like you were in some prolonged labour.

And then this was the day when you turned the flush lever, the water flushes through…and your naughty shit decides to remain.

For some people (especially when it’s a public convenience) it’s just a matter of getting the hell out of there before someone else who wishes to use the place comes around as you’re just leaving; per chance the person sees the nasty ‘log’ in the closet and easily connects the dots as to who is responsible.

I don’t have the guts to abandon a toilet that’s harbouring a stubborn crap load that was my handiwork. So you can imagine the sheer horror I face when I come to realization that I’ve just offloaded some monster that won’t go down the closet drain – me that hates looking at my own crap!

I also don’t want to forget that there are toilets and there are toilets. Some toilets flush so violently that nothing can survive remaining in that closet, not even if a cell phone dropped in it…(eeww, God forbid bad thing…happened to a colleague once. Thank God it wasn’t flushed), other toilets flush so flimsily that even floating spittle can survive it – that’s what I’d call an ‘Ajebutter’ toilet.

Unfortunately, the toilet I have at home is an ‘Ajebutter’ toilet. I always have to support the flushing with a bucket of water, unlike where I used to live before where I had an ‘Ajepako’ toilet. This was a toilet that even wall geckos and roaches dreaded…even a rat would never survive its unmerciful and violent flushing. Yeah…even I step back, as if I might be caught in its waves and carried away.

I’m not any luckier at work…because the closet attached to my office is an ‘Ajebutter’.

For a while, I did only the ‘minor’ at work. I dared not do the ‘major’ since there was no hope of my ‘output’ going anywhere in the ‘Ajebutter’ closet.

Well…that’s what I decided until nature decided to play a fast one on me.

I can’t remember what I ate that day but my stomach decided to do a royal rumble that was threatening to spill out my butt. Now I’m very good at containing such situations, especially if it had to do with taking a piss but in this case I was physically, mentally and emotionally threatened and had no choice.

In situations like this, the first thing on your mind is where you can rest your thundering butt before it explodes before thinking of whether you can get it flushed or not. Thus I ended up using the office ‘Ajebutter’ toilet. Fortunately for me, it was around closing time and the other two in the office had gone home.

Finally, after two rigorous flushing attempts that involved two bowls of water accompanied by the sluggish flow of the closet’s flushing, the nasty turd finally bade me goodbye and disappeared down the closet’s pipes.

I guess next time I’ll make sure I abide by the boy scout motto; I’ll ‘be prepared’ should in case another royal rumble happens another day.

Yep…that’s me, really finicky about toilet issues!

Last Post for the Year 2011

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, December 31, 2011

Today marks the last day of the year 2011. Its been a totally awesome year of unlimited breakthroughs for me. Its been most memorable for a number of things most importantly the following:

1. The arrival of my first son and second child, A.Y.

 With elder sister Timi @ 3 months

With his elder sister Timi @ 7 months

2. My Kid brother's wedding

3. My Dad's ordination as a Deacon in church. 

4. My Bro-in-law gains admission into Landmark University
and becomes an outstanding student

There are many others which can't be pictorially represented. I had been bugging my mind over what to make of this last post and entry for the year until I came across this video by google seems like the best way to sum it all up. Though it may not have covered exactly everything, but the major fact here is that We made it through 2011...and for that I'm so grateful to God.

See you in 2012!

Anniversaary!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hooray! Today marks my WHITE WEDDING ANIVERSARY.

I'm so grateful to the most high for giving me the best wife a man can have

and for blessing it with the most georgeous kids a father can have.

Oh...and that pix is the actual pic taken at our wedding and not a library photo

...that is to say, you are actually seeing my hand and wifey's hand in blissful matrimony right there.

3 years and it just gets sweeter!

The Cartoonist...3

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 22, 2011

Whew! What a hiatus! I've been so busy it kept me away from blogging for September! Anyways...I just decided to post this last installment of my old cartoons which as I've said earlier were drawn by crude means(pencil, pen and color pencils then scanned). This set I drew as a parody of some notable Nigerian celebrities as at the time. Well...some are still there in the limelight today. What do you think?

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The Cartoonist...2

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, August 29, 2011

More toons attempted by me from my archive....My tools where a HB pencil, black bic biro, color pencils - crude bunch. Thanks to my inability to use photoshop at that time!

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The Cartoonist...To return or not? 1

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Someone once asked me if there was anything that I couldn't do simply because I was exhibiting all manner of skills - what people would refer to as multi-talent. I never saw myself as that; I rather saw myself as being adventurous and trying out all manner of things. To my surprise, I've found out that there are things I could do that I never thought would be as good as some people claim it to be.

I decided to go down memory lane and take a look at things I had ventured into in the past. A good one was cartooning. I had always wanted to be an artist but my Dad felt artists were hungry people (well, as at that time it seemed so.) So I veered away from the fine arts and went after the literary arts.

But it was hard to stay away from some aspects of fine art. I delved into drawing and explored mostly the aspect of cartooning. It was during that period I came up with these cartoons which I drew way back. I didn't know how to use drawing software to create these. So I just drew on paper and scanned it onto the PC, did a little brush-up with photoshop and I was done.

I has developed a drawing style and was becoming consistent. But I somehow stopped because I wasn't sure if it was going anywhere. Now looking at these drawings I did way back, I'm begining to wonder...do I go back to drawing cartoons...and even if I did, is there a point to keeping on with it?

I guess I need reasons to keep on or just forget it.

Suggestions anyone?

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Out with the former...In with the Next

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, April 01, 2011

Say bye bye to Red, my faithful Nissan Primera.
She has served me well. I'll never forget those times we shared; the travelling trips we made, the small safaris we embarked, my little girl playing ruff on her seats and soiling them with food.
I'll never forget the days she broke down and I got her fixed and running at some times. She was rugged. I hope the new owner enjoys her.
Wifey nearly shed a tear when she was driven away...amazing how emotions get attached to a car.

 

 
Say hello to Ruffler, my freshly acquired Mercury Villager.
I look forward to new adventures with her. Driving her is a whole new experience for me; controlling a bigger vehicle shows a lot of difference. I'm getting along fine with her and discovering more everyday. It's a miracle how I got her - that's a testimony I've never stopped sharing.
 

I still refuse to keep with joneses. I just get the ride suitable for me for the moment. Right now, its for my family that's getting bigger - me, wifey, little Timi and the little fella we're expecting.

Timi Walks!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I stood there in the Church Auditorium, my wife with my daughter, Timi, and Tony, a friend of the family standing next to me. The Bishop was about to close the service and he usually does that with prophetic utterances.


I never take this moment for granted. It s the moment of truth; a moment for the birth of a testimony, it’s the moment God’s touch would come at full potency to act on your faith.


The Bishop began proclaiming blessings upon the congregation then in a spirit-filled moment, he asked those who had come to the church with one ailment, sickness or the other to place their hands on the afflicted part of their body.


I looked my wife, her eyes met mine and she understood and she placed her hands on little Timi’s legs.


You see…my little girl was already a year old and three months and she had not started walking. She could hold onto things around the house and walk while doing that but the moment you made her stand on her own, her little legs would begin to tremble, and she would eventually sit on the floor and resume crawling on all fours.


We were concerned about this. Most especially because other babies who were even younger than her were already walking and running about.


You could see the determination in her little face – she had a strong mind of her own, just like me, her father. She wanted to walk, but she just couldn’t do it. And you could see in her actions that she desperately wanted to move those limbs about the house. She had gained weight as she grew and was becoming quite heavy to carry for a long time. It was time she started walking.


It was time we let go and let God.


As the Bishop began to cry out prophetically, I keyed faithfully into his utterances for me (I had a slight cold) and for my daughter. Our ‘Amen’ rang out loud with each prophetic pronouncement.


When the Bishop finished, the church went into a round singing praises and thanksgiving songs. People came out to testify of their instant healings. At that time it didn’t occur to us to check out God’s touch on us. We just thanked him for performing his wonder in our lives – you see, that’s the secret of total healing. When you show appreciation to God for what he has done, he will be delighted to do more.


Later at the family home we were all relaxed with my parents discussing about family issues when my wife called my attention to Timi who was trying to walk. We took her to the end of a long corridor and made her stand on her feet. Then I called to her. She smiled and took a step, then another, and another…then she walked the whole length of the corridor.


Everybody was ecstatic. My parents sang and danced with joy, wifey was jumping up and down in awe, Tony was just grinning like a banshee in wonder.


I whipped out my camera and filmed it.

Sorry I couldn’t upload the video. My internet was acting up so I just had to upload a snapshot from the video of her walk.

I’m so ever grateful to God for this miracle. I just can’t stop thinking of the whole scene.

I still remember her as the tiny baby of yesterday. Today I'm thankful she's become a bigger and healthy little girl, and also thankful that she can WALK!

Gosh...this is definitely fatherhood blues again.

Fatherhood Blues

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, July 01, 2009

The first time that strange feeling hit me was when I realized I was going to be married. Wow, so I’m gonna become a mister with a missus to bear my name; I’m about to become somebody’s hubby.

I felt like a Jambite who had just gained admission into the University of matrimony. Like every newbie, I got to learn what is and what’s not. And I did fine, I blended into the mix like milk blends into a hot cuppa coffee.

Next, I move from being a Hubby to being a Daddy and I’m excited and at the same time kinda scared – that strange feeling again. What kind of Dad am I gonna end up becoming? I started reading books, listening to messages and grasping anything that talks about fatherhood just to be all ready.
But it’s my babygirl who ends up calming my fears. 
Each time I carry her, all of a sudden I’m emotional. She gives me her wide eyed baby stare and seemed to say to me “Don’t worry Daddy, it’s gonna be alright”.
And I smile and hold her closer.

Today, she’s the reason I make sure I close on time at work, she’s the reason I look forward to going home, she’s the reason I look forward to going to see her grandparents (my parents), she’s also a reason I want to drive the car even when I normally wouldn’t feel like ‘cause I love to watch her in her car seat. She’s the reason for a lot of things.

I still can’t understand why some Dads end up abusing or destroying the life of their children. 
It’s one thing to be a Dad, its another thing to be a Father (Note that they are twoThat child sees you as a role model, as a small god to look up to. If she’s a girl, you’ll be the first date she’ll ever have and its what she sees in you that will inform the kind of men she’ll look out for (provided you bring her up well). If he’s a boy, you’ll be the first best friend and mentor in what it takes to be a real man (provided you are one).

Children are a gift. Ever since I watched my wife grow in size in pregnancy till those powerful moments in the delivery room and the first glimpse of little Timi, I have come to appreciate children more than ever. Each time I see a little child, my heart skips a beat and I’m drawn to relate with them more than I used to before. And I know its because I’m now a different person; I’m a father.  

Aaarrggh!! Parakeet tagged me!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, April 02, 2009

I run away from taggings!!
But Parakeet had to hold my butt down by awarding me this honest scrap thing and tagging me to say 10 Honest things about myself.

Okay, here goes.




1. Started writing and drawing in primary school. Wrote a lot of storybooks and illustrated them, bound them with staplers or needle and thread, and had them thrown in the trash when my Mum got tired of me litering the house with them. 

2. I’m addicted to plantain. I’m also addicted to garri and anything that goes well with it!

3. Learnt how to drive by stealing my Dad’s car whenever he wasn’t around. I had two reasons for wanting to learn how to drive...to keep up with the joneses (guys who gained respect in high school for being able to cruise a car) and to get with chicks. 

4. Got excessively drunk for the first time in my life on palm wine and harassed a female teacher during my youth service. 

5. Almost died on 3 occassions in my life – in high school, on campus and during youth service. Could it be that my surname is a prophecy that’s been saving my life?

6. Faked commitment to some of my Ex-es just to have a relationship. 

7. My wife is eight months pregnant and I’m scared shitless and excited at the same time. How does it feel like to be a ‘Popsie’? Please share abeg.

8. Used to suck my finger up till my JSS in high school.

9. I have serious beef for blogs that write about nothing but sex. Isn’t it an overrated issue? 

10. I used to have a very serious crush on a particular blogger on blogsville. Want to know who she is? lol...I leave that for you to guess!

I guess these are honest enough?
So therefore, I tag the following people:

YNC

Ugandan Girl

Favoured Girl

Naughty Eyes

Sha

Olufunke

Archiwiz

Here are the instructions for the above tagged folks!

1.You must brag about the award
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. 
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

I hope I've done all I'm supposed to do.

Refusing to keep up with the joneses

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Have you ever been in the postion of watching other people cruise cars that are higher in terms of luxury, performance and model than yours and still felt good that you at least have a set of wheels to be proud despite not keeping with the joneses?

Well, thats how I've been feeling. I don't drive a high end BMW or a Super benz. I don't cruise a luxury lexus or a powerful VW toureg. Nope. I don't.

I move about in a humble 1995 Nissan Primera

But it wasn't until I came across this funny Ad that I further got to appreciate the kind of ride I cruise.

Just take a look at this Ad and you'll know what I mean...

LOL...Will somebody who's proud of the wheels he could readily afford (as of now) holla at whatamsayin'?

I just love my primera...

What I Never Told Y'all About JUNE 5!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I said 'I do' to her







She said 'I do' to me





And two became one.

Answering to the Random Tagging

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, May 12, 2008

Okay, so Standtall tagged me and I promised to respond. So here are the random things about me. I actually had done it and was about to post it as Things you won’t believe about me. But it don't matter. Its the same thing. So here goes...

1. I don’t watch football.
Yeah! And when I say this most look at me in a funny way and think I’m weird just because I don’t dig what every other guy likes. Duh!
The reason is simple…as long as I gain nothing except a sore throat from screaming at players goofing on the field, then it aint worth it. What even sickens me the most is the fact that over here in Nigeria, we have people who are fans of foreign football teams like Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea etc. but no one will claim to be a fan of our own Eyimba football club and the likes. Apart from watching Nigeria in International tournaments, I don’t watch anything else about ball.

2. I’m not ‘shooking’ till we’re married.
That’s true. I don’t believe sex is the true expression of love and besides I feel it’s wrong to even do it b4 marriage. I believe that any guy that can’t hold his zip up till he ties the knot is still a boy and not a man. Yeah, I know some of you will think I’m nuts reserving sex till marriage but know this, its only strong and determined people that can hold out like that. Besides that, I always make sure my woman and I never get into a circumstance that will make us to do it. We’ve faced temptation many times but we always find a way to fight it. To me, that’s a way of respecting my God who has laid it as a law in the Bible and a way of respecting my fiancée too.

3. I dislike huge nigerian wedding ceremonies
Yes I do with a passion! All the ‘aso ebi’ thingy and flamboyant spending and spraying of money on people. What in the world?? Ugh! I believe the wedding should be a brief ceremony with just modest celebration, not a carnival! The bigness of the wedding doesn’t determine that a marriage will last. That’s why I’ve decided not to let anybody push me into what the nature of my wedding should be. After all, the size of my wedding won’t be in my resume, will it? And the funniest thing is that after the whole thing, it’s forgotten. I can’t even stress how bad the money spraying habit is. I think huge weddings (especially when you struggle to do one that eats your pocket) are just a sorry excuse to throw a big party and ‘show dem say you sabi.’ Sorry if I’m bursting someone’s bubble.

4. I don’t believe in Visa Lottery
I just feel it’s another form of slavery. It’s what’s been responsible for taking away most of the brains from Nigeria and Africa. Bad enough, we all get to be second class citizens when we get there.
I’d rather just travel abroad for better education and come back here to explore the endless opportunities which the many Asians are seeing but Nigerians are failing to see. I’ve discovered some of the secrets to these opportunities and I’m gonna tap into it.
Visa Lottery is just awoof that will scatter belle.

5. Success is in how I’ve touched lives, not how many houses and cars I have.
It’s a common thing among Nigerians here. A man hits big money (mostly illegal) and uses cars to decorate his compound and builds houses in high brow areas with ‘prison walls’ to show the world that he has ‘arrived’. He doesn’t know he’s just displaying his low self-esteem. One of them occupying our seats of power once made a stupid comment some years back that mobile phones were not for poor people. Today, everybody, including the poor are mobile!

6.I have beef for Nollywood

The average Nigerian movie is downright predictable, stereotypical, occasionally senseless, lacking in suspense and creativity and negligent in details. Apart from classic Nigerian movies that were produced by Nigerian producers/directors with foreign exposure and expertise, I can never be found accidentally spending my money buying a Naija movie. Most of the culprits are the English movies. The Yoruba movies are not doing bad though they are still affected. The most annoying is the term ‘Nollywood’. Where did it come from? It’s nothing but a copycat! It’s just an intangible entity unlike Hollywood which is also location in itself. It’s no wonder it’s hard for original stuff to come out of the industry.

I'm tagging Ollay, Charizard, Pamela, and Archiwiz. So you guys get cracking!

First Post Ever

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Okay. This is just to test start this weblog that I just created.

The name is Kush. Work with an Advertising firm based in Lagos, Nigeria, West Africa.

I used to blog on xanga but lost interest and got discouraged when the site 'washed' away all i had uploaded and blogged over a couple of years.

Boy, was I furious! I had a load of serious information on there that was useful for me to always refer to. I guess my mistake was that I trusted too much in the website I never thought I'd need a back-up.

I've really missed blogging and now I've decided to get back to it. So if you're visiting my page for the first time, it wont be bad for you to say hi.

I've always been a writer right from the primary school days and its always been with me 'cause its where my gifting lies.

I'm a crazy writer. I usually go against norms 'cause i always believe in a maxim I quote a lot..that normal is boring.

Well...I gotta stop here cuz I know the attention span to read is very brief.

I'll be back to start blogging.