Misyarning by accident


Somewhere around Lagos an old woman is waiting to board a bus. A bus pulls up and the conductor begins to yell out its destination.


‘Amukoko! Amukoko! Enter with your change oh!’

The old woman suddenly charges at the conductor and admonishes him to keep quiet and stop shouting ‘Amukoko’.

The confused conductor avoids her thinking she must be a mad person. He jumps his bus and orders the driver to take off.

Another bus pulls up and this conductor calls out in a more husky voice thickened by massive consumption of ogogoro.

‘Aaamukokooo! Aaamukokoo!’

The elderly woman suddenly becomes incensed and launches out angrily at the conductor.

‘Shut up! Na Amukoko go kill you!’




The conductor was dumbfounded. He looked at his driver, the bewildered passengers and back at the old woman.


‘Ah ha…Mama wetin I do now?’

‘You dey shout Amukoko, you still dey ask me wetin you do?’

By now a crowd gathered to find out what the commotion was about. Apparently the word ‘Amukoko’ according to the old woman meant ‘T*t* water’ (Vagina secretion) in her own language!



In a country like ours with such a vast diversity of tribes, one word in one place could mean another thing elsewhere which probably means we should be careful how we say words and where we say them.

I was watching TV last week and saw the video of a Naija artiste called Jaywon. When I saw the title of the song (Tinko Angel) I burst into laughter. Maybe the title was meant to be a cool reference to the chick he was singing about but it got me wondering if he knew what ‘Tinko’ meant or he actually just thought it sounded cool.

As far as I was concerned, he shouldn’t have used that as the title because ‘Tinko’ is the name given to small pieces of goat meat that’s preserved in a dried up state. So is Jaywon calling his babe a small piece of dried-up goat meat?

What of the popular story of a Hausa man telling a Yoruba friend in Yoruba that he is grateful to the friend’s wife for giving him corn to eat – which because of the Hausa man’s accent sounded he was grateful to the friend’s wife for having sex? Unless you never went to a Nigerian secondary school you probably have never heard that story.

I could say we should watch what we say and know what they mean before we say it but what about the case of locations like ‘Amukoko’ ?





16 Screamer(s):

HoneyDame said...

That one get as e be o! Mama is not in her village now so why would she expect them to use the interpretation of her language?
With the massive number of languages spoken in Nigeria, in fact, I dont think we will ever stop having that type of issue.
I went to a Nigerian Secondary school o and I never heard that story so, biko, feel me in, dont worry, type it in Yoruba. I can read Yoruba...:)

Sugarcoated said...

Funny enough. Amukoko in igbo means koko's penis, and the Yoruba name Olaniyi in my dialect means destroyer. Naija is a really diverse place so when you scream a word and some people around are frowning,you better stop and ask waddup

Afronuts said...

@Honey Dame...You know how old women think now...especially when they're moralists to the core. That would be Mama's case. And how come you never hear dat story? Wait, where you in boarding house?

@Sugarcoated...See? Wetin I talk? Infact one needs to be observant when gisting in another tribe's vicinity...even hand gestures can mean things.

HoneyDame said...

No o, I no go boarding school o. Mama Mia no let me. Oya, Uncle please tell us a story!!!(Recall: Psquare)

Funny Story. Nigeria IS an amazing place filled with 'wonderful' people.

Afronuts said...

@HoneyDame...The Hausa guy simply said 'Mo dupe lowo iyawo re ti o fun mi ni Obodo' (He pronounced 'Agbado' as Obodo') Go figure!

@Misspweddyface...lol...yeah. And with that funny face I'll say you're one of them.

HoneyDame said...

LMAOOOO!!!!!
OH my gawd!!!He should just stick to sign language next time! LMAO

AutoRose said...

The country i leavw in currently, the word for God is one that can not be said in public in my home land! I prefer to use english or French when refering to God.

Shar said...

Sigh, you sure made me miss being in Lagos. Gotta get on a plane soon and come back to the place that is sooo great with hospitality. This story was great.... fictional abi? The drawing was lovely.

@Afronuts, I'm a proud naija babe but why you dey beef my face now?, haba!.

Afronuts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Afronuts said...

@HoneyDame…That’s the disaster of misundastood language!

@AutoRose…For real?? Wow…that is some serious kwanta.

@Shar….lol, so you’re familiar with Lagos madness? That’s cool. Oh…and the story ain’t fictional. It actually happened.

@MissPweedy….lol, wasn’t beefing your face hon. Just teasing you…Seen your other pics and you are really cute. But seriously, you are making a funny face in this one.

@Afronuts, Yeah, I understand. It does look funny.I'm still vexed, though. You're gonna have to appease the Miss...

BSNC said...

haha i understand what you are saying, but how do you know it means something else in another man's dialect. Na God dey save person lol

looooooool hahaha , tinko angel, okay the meaning of tinko got me rolling

Afronuts said...

@MissPweedy....okay, I'll appease you then....hmmm, I'm wondering what to do...any suggestion?

@BSNC....lol. I get embarrassed when people laff at me becuz I speak their dialect awkwardly...you know dat feeling

@Coy....seriously, I'm not joking. That's what it means!