Wear at Your Own Risk


They are intimidating.

They make women look like elegant vixens.

They add sex appeal and sometimes amusing gait to the woman’s walk.

They call them high heels.

I call them ‘Weapons of Feet Destruction’.

Now I’d like to make a distinction between moderately balanced or wedge heels and the monstrous ones that seem to be in vogue. The moderately balanced heels and wedge heels happen to be in the sane category; they are sometimes not too high and are always comfortable and safer for women to wear. They don’t put women through the calculated torture of taking extra-conscious steps.  The high heels and sometimes stiletto heels on the other hand, are the insane category that have made women switch to the ‘sufferin’ and smilin’ mode by force. I’m not even sure if I can say it’s a new trend because high heels have always been there. It just seems that shoe designers have decided to torture women further by making the heels taller and shoes curvier. 

People will call it fashion but I call it gross inhumanity to womanhood. It’s amazing how no one seems to actually realize that these extra high ‘monsters’ do more harm than good to you. All over the internet, you get to see pictures or videos of women falling due to ‘waka miscalculation’ on those nasty twosomes; that apart from the nasty aftereffects of wearing too much of it .

The price people pay to look good!

A lot of the ladies in my office are fond of wearing these monstrous heels and they do a good job of showing off in them. In fact we created a name for these chicks who love to wear these abominations (sorry if that term hurt, but truth is bitter!), we call them the ‘Office Kardashians’ – I’m not a fan of any Kardashian reality show but I’ve had a glimpse at some episodes and by this term I can understand what on earth it means.

These shoes are basically hazardous to its wearers but I guess since it’s not hazardous to their self esteem, and people prefer to ignore the former. Just last month, a lady in my office tripped on the stairs as she miscalculated her stepping in one of these abominations. She fell and sprained her ankle. For the next few weeks she had to be wearing flat heels and balm due to the pain. Thank goodness it healed before her upcoming wedding day; she would have limped to the altar.

Another lady fell just outside our office and ended up carrying a bandage on her right leg for weeks.
Then a few days ago another lady miscalculated and fell on the stairs again. She had to be taken to the hospital because she sustained injuries; one of her fingernails was uprooted and she had bad scrapes on her fine spotless legs.

Our office stairs
(where the ladies fell)

Our office floors

Another stairscase at our office
('Office Kardashians' descend this stairs everyday)

Looking at our office’s marble floors, tiles and stairs(pictured above), you’ll know they are not ‘extreme high heels friendly'. So every high heeled damsel tread at their own risk. Meanwhile the moderate heeled ones move more easily.

Then just a few days back on my way to the Bank, I passed by a private school where parents or drivers where arriving to pick their kids and there was this lady in obscene high heels trying to keep her balance on the rugged ground as she made her way through the school gates. People, especially mothers were watching her and laughing at her dilemma. I think her self esteem must have instantly plummeted.

And if what I’m saying is not enough, check out the numerous online videos like this one where these extreme heels have embarrassed theirwearers.

One of the viewers of this video made a comment that raises a good question:

‘If i ever become a fashion designer I’m going to make shoes that women can actually f**g walk in......

Are these shoes made for walking at all? I know some ladies will say the shoes should only be worn at an occasion but not worn to walk around all day. The fact still remains that the designers of these shoes are definitely heartless; the manner in which their artsy and supposedly ‘trendy’ shoes have messed up the womenfolk is alarming.

All fall down yakata!

Click on this link to see more damage causedby these orthopedic abominations.

Wifey had a couple of these monsters but she hardly wore them. Eventually she gave them out wondering how on earth other women survived in them. She stuck to her moderate or wedge heels which still brings out her sweet appeal and that's fine by me!

Additional Images Courtesy:

9 Screamer(s):

"Gross inhumanity to womanhood" ke? Na fashion na. haha

Until some people take head land for ground, dem go still dey do fashion. haha. Preach it sir.


jhazmyn said...

Honestly, on the matter of heels, i just feel every woman should buy shoes she's comfortable in. You dont have to wear heels cos the other person is, do it because you can handle them and they are comfortable for you. Some dont even know how to walk in then and look quite hilarious struggling with the heels.

Pinkauto said...

I am a victim of the gross in humanity :) i have lots of heels from one inch to six inches but i have a lot more pumps and honestly thing walking on tiles in heels is the toughest thing ever! Today i am rocking pumps my dad gave me last week for my birthday(he really must be worried about the heels lol!).

But you must admit we do look fine in them :) but it should be worn in moderation not every day!

Toinlicious said...

That video tho, ouch!!!!

I love high heels, but I would wear flats every day if I had to trek those stairs everyday. They are not conducive to high heels at all. I cringed at the lady's fingernail being uprooted. *shuddering*

Afronuts said...

@Samuel Ekundayo...Abi? That's learning the lesson the hard way...

@jhazmyn...Well said jhaz! I hope those concerned are reading this!

@pinkauto...lol! Of course I do! Didn't I say it brings out the sex appeal and make you look like vixens? Yeah it does...but please don't overdo it lol

@Toilicious...lol you saw the video!

@Queen of my castle...Good thinking! Unfortunately, the ladies that had the mishaps didn't think of that before it happened.

Myne Whitman said...

Those shiny floors in your office sure on't make one assured to wear any kind of heels, rubber soled wedges maybe. I only wear more than 3 inches, if I'm sure I will be seated all through.

C.Nnamani said...

ℓoℓ @ office kardashians...
You must admit those shoes are cute. ;)

Anonymous said...

Am crazy about heels,no-am in love with heels n am 5'11.can't help it cus it mks me feel on top of d world