WACO DICO 2



Like I said in the earlier part, there's some wisdom in witty words...and sometimes stupid ones as the crazy definition I compiled over the internet continues!


OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river


OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"







PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, istead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY


FATHER:
A banker provided by nature


PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead





CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later


DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you


ARGUMENT:
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but the other just hasn't realized yet.


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early








ASSASSINATION:
Extreme form of censorship.


BABY:
A loud voice at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.


BABY-SITTER:
Teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.


BACCHUS:
A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.


BACTERIA:
Rear entrance to a cafeteria.


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


 
 
 
 
BARTENDER:
A pharmacist with a limited inventory.


BEAUTY:
The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.


CANNIBAL:
1) Someone who is fed up with people. 2) A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.


CAPITAL PUNISHMENT:
Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.


EDITOR:
A person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.


HIPPIE:
Someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.


HYPOCRITE:
Man who murders his parents, and then pleads for mercy on the grounds that he is an orphan.


CELEBRITY:
A person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.






JUDGE:
Law student who marks his own examination papers.


KLEPTOMANIAC:
Someone who helps himself because he can't help himself.


LAZINESS:
The habit of resting before you get tired.

 
That's about it.
I hope I didn't make you fall off your chair and embarrass yourself at work...or at home!

9 Screamer(s):

OMG! This is totally hilarious. I'm still laughing out loud.

oh gosh, this is so funny ! I thought of CONFERENCE and I conjured up a mental picture of work.. yup so true!


... and so true about the Editor!
Thanks for the belly laugh! I'm passing these on!

:-)

Afronuts said...

@Maid of Heart...lol! Don't choke on that lafter oh!

@Remi UK...See? i told you some of these things have some sense in them!

Olufunke said...

AFronuts no go kill me o!

Very funny..........LOL@ Definition of an optimist

Dee! said...

Thanks for making me laugh again :-)

You know what, some of these meanings actually make sense! For example the definition given to "argument" and "kleptomaniac"

histreasure said...

lwkmd -this is totally hilarious, just like the 1st instalment..infact, BACCHUS and CELEBRITY got me laffing out loud...and i'm at work

You will not kill me!!!! LOL

Afronuts said...

@Olufunke…take a deep breath! Don’t die abeg!

@Dee! …my pleasure!

@histreasure…yikes! Hope you din’t goof at work after seeing that!

@Standtall…I definitely will not!

Are all these your own very imaginations? Need to know so I know who to credit when I share part of this on Facebook status