WACO DICO 2



Like I said in the earlier part, there's some wisdom in witty words...and sometimes stupid ones as the crazy definition I compiled over the internet continues!


OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river


OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"







PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, istead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY


FATHER:
A banker provided by nature


PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead





CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later


DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you


ARGUMENT:
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but the other just hasn't realized yet.


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early








ASSASSINATION:
Extreme form of censorship.


BABY:
A loud voice at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.


BABY-SITTER:
Teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.


BACCHUS:
A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.


BACTERIA:
Rear entrance to a cafeteria.


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


 
 
 
 
BARTENDER:
A pharmacist with a limited inventory.


BEAUTY:
The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.


CANNIBAL:
1) Someone who is fed up with people. 2) A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.


CAPITAL PUNISHMENT:
Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.


EDITOR:
A person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.


HIPPIE:
Someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.


HYPOCRITE:
Man who murders his parents, and then pleads for mercy on the grounds that he is an orphan.


CELEBRITY:
A person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.






JUDGE:
Law student who marks his own examination papers.


KLEPTOMANIAC:
Someone who helps himself because he can't help himself.


LAZINESS:
The habit of resting before you get tired.

 
That's about it.
I hope I didn't make you fall off your chair and embarrass yourself at work...or at home!

9 Screamer(s):

Anonymous said...

OMG! This is totally hilarious. I'm still laughing out loud.

oh gosh, this is so funny ! I thought of CONFERENCE and I conjured up a mental picture of work.. yup so true!


... and so true about the Editor!
Thanks for the belly laugh! I'm passing these on!

:-)

Afronuts said...

@Maid of Heart...lol! Don't choke on that lafter oh!

@Remi UK...See? i told you some of these things have some sense in them!

Olufunke said...

AFronuts no go kill me o!

Very funny..........LOL@ Definition of an optimist

Dee said...

Thanks for making me laugh again :-)

You know what, some of these meanings actually make sense! For example the definition given to "argument" and "kleptomaniac"

histreasure said...

lwkmd -this is totally hilarious, just like the 1st instalment..infact, BACCHUS and CELEBRITY got me laffing out loud...and i'm at work

The Activist said...

You will not kill me!!!! LOL

Afronuts said...

@Olufunke…take a deep breath! Don’t die abeg!

@Dee! …my pleasure!

@histreasure…yikes! Hope you din’t goof at work after seeing that!

@Standtall…I definitely will not!

The Activist said...

Are all these your own very imaginations? Need to know so I know who to credit when I share part of this on Facebook status