Nollywood: A Critical Review by Two Angry Men


Meet James and Harry of 'Two Angry Men' - a series on Youtube that does social commentary and criticism of matters arising in the Nigerian social strata. In this interesting episode, they dissect the mediocre aspect of Nollywood.

The duo are somewhat informed and know their onions as they point out smart facts that actually 'dull' Nollywood and brings to realization that there are lots of loopholes to be covered despite the so-called development in the industry.



Delivered in a funny conversation and argument, the format of the discussion looks like a chat taking place in a beer parlour or at a bar with Harry (in brown shirt and more out-spoken on the issue) spear-heading the convo.

I suspect these guys probably work in the industry.

Watch it and you'll see what I mean.



1 Screamer(s):

Woolwich Killing: Smells like a Conspiracy?

Unlike the popular saying that says 'the more you look, the less you see' terror cases such as that of the Woolwich killings is proving otherwise. The incident has raised many questions among conspiracy circles.

It suddenly reminds one of the Muttalab saga where a Nigerian youth said to be an Al-Qaeda loyalist attempted to embark on a suicide mission of bombing himself away with an aircraft but ended up bombing himself.
Questions arose around Farouk Abdul Muttallab known back then as the underwear bomber. Before we know it, we are thrown into dug-up and investigated reports of the boy's involvement in terrorist-oriented ideology, training and activities.

Now, with the investigations surrounding one of the Woolwich killers, Michael Adebolajo, its been unearthed that he was once arrested in November 2010 on their way to Somalia where they had been recruited by an insurgent islamic group.

Michael Adebolajo (circled) with the 5 others caught after their reported attempt to cross the border

More stories have emerged that Britain's Mi5 had tried convincing him to become a spy on terrorist groups but he blatantly refused. A bunch of of other information have surfaced giving us an insight to the genesis of his fanaticism.

Renown Nigerian politician and lawyer, Femi Fani-Kayode wrote an article that questioned the suspiciousness of the killing on that fateful day.

According to Fani-Kayode;

"Immediately after finishing their gruesome act the killers then conducted their own impromptu press conference, brandishing knives and meat cleavers in blood-soaked hands, with random members of the public asking to be filmed and qouted whilst their clothes were soaked, drenched and dripping in human blood. After their ”presss conference” ended they moved to the other side of the road and calmly waited for the police to arrive. They had all the time in the world to do so but they plainly refused to run and attempt to avoid arrest or the imminent arrival of the police. According to eye-witnesses (and I watched the footage on CNN) the police took no less than 30 minutes to get to the scene and confront the two killers. They did NOT get there in the 9 minutes that they are claiming.

When the police eventually arrived instead of surrendering peacefully to them or attempting to run away, the two young men charged at them brandishing their knives and meat cleaver in a menacing way and attempting to shoot their old and rusty pistol. Unfortunately for them the pistol exploded in the hand of the individual that tried to use it. They were both promptly shot, wounded and disarmed. Yet before the police arrived another rather curious incident took place. A strange yet very courageous Scandinavian woman, who just happened to be sitting on a bus that was driving past, told the bus driver to stop when she saw the carnage that was being inflicted on the dying soldier, got off the bus and calmly walked over to the killers even as they were still killing him. She then proceeeded to have a detailed conversation with them asking them why they were doing what they were doing and assuring them that in the end they would lose the fight because it was ”just them against many”.

The scanadinavian

Is this not a rather curious encounter? Who really was that Scandinavian lady and who does she really work for? Is she a genuine hero or is she what, in security and intelligence circles, is known as a controller? Is she part of the system because to do what she did took immense courage? So many questions still need to be asked and answered. For example why did the police take so long before responding? Why were the killers given all the time in the world to conduct a graphic, loud and unofficial press conference in the streets with members of the public after beheading and carving up the young soldier?

Even more curiously the police and intelligence agencies have now admitted that these two young men were “known to them”. If that were the case how come they were never put under close surveillance, monitored, questioned or arrested? Why did all this have to take place at approximately 3.00pm in the afternoon, at that location (a crossroads of four junctions) and on that date? Why did the assailants have to cut off their victims head, hang around there for thirty minutes whilst ranting and whilst soaked and covered in their victims blood? Why did the killers insist that only women could come near the dying body of their victim? Why was this whole thing allowed to happen and to drag on like it did for 30 uninterrupted minutes by the authorities? Why did the police refuse to move in even though numerous members of the public were having detailed conversations with the assailants?"


Fani-Kayode alluded to the probability of the use of mind-control which the 'higher-ups' are infamous for using. It sounds like a possibility when you've come across circumstantial evident of such in the case of other tragic incidences carried by the news.

My own additional question would be this: Was this a 'false flag attack'? Conspiracy buffs would know what I mean. In case you don't know what a 'false flag attack' means, just google it and find out, the information is out there.



images
Skynews
www.dailymail.co.uk


1 Screamer(s):

Photo of the Day: Local Naija Statue


Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you -The Statue of Liberty; Sango-Ota version!
I caught this picture on a Sunday when we decided to take a short-cut that passed through the interiors of Sango-Ota. I think I need to do a series on hilarious looking statues around Lagos; there are lots of them all over the place!

1 Screamer(s):

The Senseless Rationale of The Woolwich Killers



Following the tragedy in Woolwich, London where so-called Muslim fanatics butchered a man to death, a debate began in my office on the matter - Is Islam pro-violence? There was divided opinion as the Muslims in the house rejected the act.

Not long after the incident, video recordings of the violent act sprung up all over youtube. Many of them were the famous footage captured by a guy on his way to work and had been edited to showcase on the news. However there is this footage that captured one of the Woolwich killers' rant as he tried to justify their actions.

The reasons where just plain stupid.


Not long after the videos surfaced on YouTube, yet another video of a community of Muslims speaking up and against the dastardly act flooded YouTube. They disassociated themselves from the killers.


The two killers; Michael Oluwatobi Adebowale and Michael Adebolajo are of Nigerian blood and have really scarred Nigeria's image by their actions. What makes the matter worse is the fact that the victim is a white man, a soldier and British citizen.

This looks like trouble about to blow up for Nigerians in the UK.

God help us.

0 Screamer(s):

Gospel Sounds With Depth: C-Stas & Efe


In a music world where there’s a lot of instrumented rubbish being pumped into the airwaves, there are occasional 'breaths of fresh air'; that is, music that carries pure artistry and creative originality. But what can make such a breath of fresh air more powerful is when it’s a spiritually uplifting gospel tune. Mind you, I’d also want to note that there are supposed gospel tunes that unfortunately sound like off-shoots of the instrumented rubbish I mentioned earlier.

And so I was caught in the spirit when I came across these ‘breaths of fresh air’ of gospel tunes that carry the essence of originality and creativity in instrumentation as well as lyrics…and no excessive auto-tuning (I had to mention that. That thing gets on my nerves like gnats on a baby’s skin!).


Song: Odun
Artiste: C-Stas



















This is a musical group consisting of four pretty ladies namely, Nanatsa, Layray, BeeNaya and BeeDel (definitely stage names I guess). They harmonize so sweetly in their singing and don’t have a specific genre which their music can be categorized due to the fact their inspirations come as led by the spirit (awesome!). Their sounds are said to dabble between R&B, Soul, Rock, Fuji , Afro-beat, Traditional Folk music etc. To further understand this, you may need to listen to their lovely single titled ‘Odun’ which is a sort of traditional/R&B/Afrobeat (I hope I got that!) blend. The song celebrates God’s love and reiterates that God’s love is as sweet as honey - ‘Odun’ actually means ‘Sweet’ in English.

You can download the music to listen from the link below. 




Song: Still Within The Flow 
Artiste: Efe


Efe is an artiste that I’ve never come across before but when I did come across this track of hers, I knew that the manifestation of God’s children has begun.  This track, ‘Still Within the Flow’ I believe is from an album of hers titled ‘A New Level’. It’s a kind of track that you rarely find in gospel music nowadays since a lot of gospel artistes get carried away with entertaining and forget about ministering. 

I listened to Efe render her lines on ‘Still Within the Flow’ and I felt the anointing strike me through the music; when she bursts into tongues in between the song, I just felt powerfully spiritually charged. This no doubt was a song produced under the anointing. This is a must listen for every spirit-filled Christian. Its beginning is captivating with the pulsating percussion and her first lines. This was one powerful breath of fresh air I just had to play several times.

You can download the music to listen from the link below.


Let’s know your thoughts.













0 Screamer(s):

Make a Poor Kid Smile with Jumia this Children's Day


As the world gets ready to mark yet another Children’s Day, Nigeria's number 1 online retailer, Jumia.com has introduced a charity give-back initiative using its social media platform. In celebrating this year’s children’s day, the guys at Jumia in addition to other onsite initiatives will be giving back to the less privileged children in the society using their Facebook and Twitter pages. 

This is an initiative that will require the support of friends and customers on social media, how? It starts with a like or follow on Facebook and Twitter respectively.

According to Opeyemi Adetomiwa, Community Manager at Jumia.com, "We are very grateful to our friends who have supported the cause so far; as we speak we have already raised N5, 877 in the first day. ”

All it takes to be part of this initiative is for one to click the 'like' and 'share' button on Jumia's Facebook page and click 'follow' on their Twitter page. For each time you click, you help raise the charity by one Naira (N1).

So let's put a smile on the face of every needy child's face this Children's Day; ‘like’, ‘follow’ and ‘share’ with your own friends, it’s that simple.

Click here to start ‘liking’ and sharing, and click here to 'follow' you could be the reason for that kid's smile.



0 Screamer(s):

Invasion of Porn on Nigeria's Startimes TV?

I was caught by this article on Vanguardngr.com that highlighted the growing concern over the acquisition of a distressed South African cable TV known as TopTV by Startimes, Nigeria’s most affordable satellite TV network.

The reason for the concern as many would know by now, was the fact that TopTV was recently licensed to broadcast 3 adult channels – Playboy TV, Desire TV and Private Spice in South Africa. The distressed Pay-TV owned by On Digital Media had faced battles over the decision to launch the adult channels. They eventually got the license despite attempts to frustrate their effort. The launch of these adult channels was a move to try and kick-start On Digital Media’s financial recovery which was going down the drain.

What a dirty cheap remedy.


But that didn’t seem to be enough to lift the company out of its financial doldrums.  

Enter Startimes to rescue as reported by the vanguard:

“Earlier this month, shareholders of On Digital Media, ODM, voted to accept the business rescue plan offered by Chinese company, Star Times. ODM has been distressed and in business rescue since last October.

The development has raised palpable fears that the Chinese pay TV operator may include the Top TV porn channels in its Nigerian bouquet offerings.
But spokesman of StarTimes Nigeria, Ayokunle Idowu, in a telephone conversation said his company had no such plans.
“We have no such plans. Apart from that, I’m sure the National Broadcasting Commission, NBC, will not approve such,” he said.
But aggressive marketing of its T-1 decoders at N3,000 fuel fears that addition of the hard core channels will drive up subscription.”


I suspect something afoot and the truth being withheld.


Years back when Startimes first debuted in Nigeria, it was mostly Alaba marketers and small time dealers that were peddling its service then and one of the main things being highlighted that made many to subscribe to it was the fact that it had porn stations. This pushed the sales of the Startimes decoder back then. On partnering with the Nigerian Television Network (NTA ), the porn channels suddenly stopped airing.


Could it be because the government was now involved that the porn stations disappeared?

Now Startimes had grown bigger as one of the major players in the Pay-TV business and is buying up TopTV, the South African station licensed to air porn channels. Fears are being expressed because we are a society where our moral values do not allow it

According to another excerpt from the Vanguardngr.com:

“The approval for the X-rated channels also sparked the anger of the South Africa’s Muslim Judicial Council, MJC, which described it as “inconsistent”.  Nabeweya Mallick, spokesperson for the MJC, said the council was “disappointed,” at ICASA’s (Independent Communications Authority of South Africa) insensitivity to the rights of tastes of religious and race groups and cultures.” [Emphasis mine]

If South Africa’s Muslim community could raise noise over the approval of the approval of the airing of these stations, imagine what the Nigerian Muslim community would do if the channels kick off here.

That would probably give the Boko Haram insurgents more reasons to bomb more places in Nigeria.

I hope Ayokunle Idowu is telling us the truth…because if it’s a lie, we should all get ready for the worst.



.



Images Coutesy
www.mybroadband.co.za
www.scoop.it

Related Sources






3 Screamer(s):

The Gbagauns of Yoruba Nollywood 4 + Hausa & Igbo! [Photos]

It's time to check out again the random butchering the English language in the ridiculous subtitling of Yoruba Nollywood movies. As you might have observed in these series, the grammatical mishaps mostly happen in Yoruba movies. In my recent search, I came across 'gbaguans' from some Hausa and Igbo movies and decided to include them as the title of this post indicates. I'll gladly appreciate anyone who can capture 'gbagauns' in Hausa and Igbo movies or any other indigenous movie that has hilarious mis-subtitling (if there's such a word!). I wanna personally thank Monike Binitie who was very helpful in majority of this collection of Yoruba Nollywood 'Gbagauns'. 

Oh...and for those who still don't know, 'gbagaun' is a Nigerian slang of yoruba origin which refers to a grammatical blunder in the English language.

So let's take a look at the next gbagaun line-up.



Wow...I didn't know Alcohol could pierce through noses.

Please I don't want to think he's referring to what I think he's referring to!

This would definitely sound disturbing tin contemporary lingo
...a man calling referencing himself to a hoe.

Yay! A new way to diagnose cough is here!
Doctors would be embarrassed watching this.

Which 'george'? The material Igbo women love to sew as blouse or...?
(Igbo Movie)

I read this and was embarrassed at my self  for reading it.
Yes...it was that painful.

What the heck is an 'unfortunate'? Some new hip Ibadan slang?

Yes. He is 'every' right.

If peace was in every rainfall the world would be a better place, yeah?

I'm also confused. What are you 'founding' out?

She seems to be crying at the fact that the subtitler can't translate in good english.

Respect the dead. Speak good english!

Hahaha...the lady seems to be shocked at the way he scattered the English language

At first just the 'concerns' was the problem.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Then later on in the same movie the grammar becomes complicated
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Is that how they say it in polygamous families? 'Childrens'?
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

Even apostrophes are not spared the brutality of misuse along with bad grammar
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

And I'm amazed how the badly constructed subtitle makes it look like she's lying.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

What on earth is a 'folling staling'? I'm sure I went to school oh! 

Apparently, some serious hot romance can make you speak bad English
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

The inability to distinguish between words that sound similar
has the subtitler doing disastrous guesswork.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

I searched the dictionary for the word 'treet', googled it, facebooked it,
tweet-searched it...no luck. I don't think it exists.
(Igbo Movie)

And the English language is not having a nice time being spoken like this.

Was this translated by a Ghanaian?
Because I think that's how 'grammar' sounds in their accent.
(courtesy Monike Binitie)

This is constipation of English. Too much to say and gbaguan happens.
(Hausa Movie)

This is probably the worst of all the subtitles in this collection.
Who did this crappy translation
(Hausa Movie)

I wish I could get more gbaguan shots from Hausa and Igbo movies. I know there are a lot of them amongst Hausa movies. Maybe I'll keep a watch on Hausa Channel on DSTV's Africa Magic.

And if you've got some, send them to me at kushmond@yahoo.com

Have a nice week!

5 Screamer(s):

Klint Da Drunk Ranting Over Beer Bottles [Video]



I came across this funny animated video just recently uploaded. It was frigging hilarious. I've gotta say Klint Da Drunk really sounds good in animation form. Check it out. 



Klint should really do more of this! What do you think?

1 Screamer(s):

20 Crazy Situations We All Hate

Doesn't it just grind your gears when you get in that awkward situation where it seems as if evil people are working against your progress? Those moments when it just seems as if luck is not just on your side? We all have these moments at some point in our lives. I encountered one of such this morning. I had to add it as point #14 on this list.



1.       Seeing a cockroach, then losing track of it and becoming a paranoid prisoner in your own home.

2.      When you and your date take a cab out for a date with the hope that you’ll pay when you get to an ATM and when you get there every ATM is out of service.

3.       Thinking that you’ve found a parking space, but as you turn in you discover that a motorcycle or some other vehicle has already occupied the spot.

4.      When a sneeze refuses to come out, causing you to look like a fool with a scrunched up face.

5.      Waiting to hear alert from the bank about your salary being ready and instead you’re being bombarded by texts from callers that are not the bank.



6.      When the week feels like: Moooooooooooooonday, Tuuuuuuuuuuueeeesday, Weeeeeeeeeeeednesday, Thuuuuuuuuuursday, FriSatSun.

7.      You scan your surroundings. Nobody is near you. You fart. Within three seconds, somebody comes right into the stinky perimeter that you’ve created.

8.     Buying a N1,500 recharge card and while scratching it you discover you scratched out some of the numbers with the foil.

9.      When you microwave frozen food and its scorching hot everywhere but the ice cold in the middle.

10.  When you buy an interesting Nollywood movie and you discover you just bought part 1 out of 5 parts.

11.    When somebody makes up lies about you, and defending yourself makes you seem guilty – but not defending yourself seems suspicious as well.

12.  Getting paid but knowing in advance that your check will be consumed by bills.



13.  When you see an ice cream bowl in the fridge but when you open it you discover it’s preserved Eba inside.

14.  When after a heavy rainfall a car speeds by splashing water on you and is gone before you can say anything.

15.   When a commercial bus stops 20+ feet away waiting for you forcing you to jog toward it.

16.  The humbling moment when you realize you’re wrong during an argument.

17.   Waking up and only having a few minutes left until the alarm will sound.

18.  When you wear a very cool outfit but don’t run into anybody noteworthy all day.

19.  When you’ve gotten some popcorn, just slotted in the DVD of your favourite series and PHCN takes light.

20.    The feeling of of wanting to take a pee badly and you’re in an area where KAI officials full everywhere.

What's your own crazy situation which you despise? Let's hear it.



3 Screamer(s):

What's Happening Here? [Photo]





I came across this funny picture from www.tdotpics.com

It's a picture from Iyanya's US/Toronto Tour. 
I wasn't so concerned about the tour but 
I just couldn't resist laughing my butt off at this scenario. 

So I had an idea to turn it into a caption contest.

The best caption will receive a gift.

Just drop your caption(s), e-mail and country where you’re located (required!)

I’ll leave this open for some days for people to drop before I declare the winning caption.

5 Screamer(s):

Today Means Something to Me...

It's the day I was born! It's my birthday today!

Me at 1 year old.

Happy Birthday and many happy returns to an awesome me!

What? you don't think I'm awesome? well some people think I am...Almighty God and my sweet family, nuclear and partially extended. 


A.Y.

People say A.Y and I bear striking resemblance as babies. 
Is it true?



6 Screamer(s):