Flashback Fridays: When Dbanj Bought His First Car [Photos + Video]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, April 04, 2014

Success or breakthrough is definitely something that can intoxicate one with extra surge of adrenaline induced joy. We all start from a certain place and rise if consistent to a better level. Hard work truly pays when we don't back down.

This is what we see replicated in this rare video of Naija artiste Dbanj in the earlier years of Mohits (8 years ago) when he bought his first car; dividends of his budding music career. The video was captured and blogged on by  Niyi Adekeye (Niyigiggles) of www.gigglesplus.com.

The weather is hot and Dbanj is sweating but that's not what matters at this moment.

Dbanj flexes his happiness with everybody

He crouches to clean off a scratch or dirty spot on the car.

At exactly 10:35pm on 16th November 2006, D'Banj brought home his first car, with lots of excitement and joy that knew no bounds as he could barely control himself.
Though he was driving a gulf while he was in LASU (Epe Campus) before he traveled abroad but this BMW car could be considered as what music brought.
Twelve days after the acquisition of the car, there was a press conference at planet around 2pm put together by NiyiGiggles and Peter Thomas, all in a bid to let the world share in the joy that came with the progress of Mohits and D'banj. - www.gigglesplus.com.

Watching the video, we get to see a leaner-looking Dbanj frolicking about excitedly over the new BMW he just acquired while friends, reporters, cameramen and Mohits crew (including Don Jazzy) look on. It was undoubtedly a big step in his life of ever owning a car like that; you could see how he was just flexing and showing off to his crew. A press conference was held two days later over the new car.

Well, how many artistes call a press conference today over a new car? It was a big deal back then.

Today, Dbanj has fleets of cars and is a far cry from himself in this video. The video is a treasurable archive especially as it marks the begining of things to come. 

News Anchors & Cleavages: Has Naija's Channel's TV Anchor Joined The Trend? [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, April 01, 2014

I woke up yesterday morning to prepare for work and instead of switching on my radio to get a feel of the early morning news as I usually do every morning, I decided to put on the TV instead because I wanted to be sure about the rumour spreading about Boko Haram's jail break and battle with the DSS. As usual, the ideal local station to visit at such a time for such info was Channels TV.

I flicked the remote to the the Station on my DSTV option and there was Chamberlain and the Sunrise Daily crew doing their early morning analysis of newspaper headlines. As is the custom with Channels news team, the suited look was in full effect - they were all corporately dressed for the show but then when the camera did a close up shot on the lady, I was stunned to notice that her own corporate outfit had a risque edge to it - the front part of her blouse was laced in a way that just messed with any man's imagination. No matter how corporate she intended to look, she spoilt it with a (un)deliberate show of cleavage under slits.

Its even looking like she's not wearing a bra...

I honestly wanted to listen to the discussion going on but I found myself getting distracted; I tried to fool myself into thinking I was just jumping to a hasty conclusion  and that it could be a camera glitch screwing with my eyes but reason made me understand that I was watching this on an LED screen after taking a bath (eyes all cleaned out from any sleep) so this couldn't be a glitch. I then decided to snap the picture and access it to be sure it wasn't. As you can see from the photo, that is a cleavage playing hide and seek behind naughtily styled fabric.

This shot where she turns her head sideways makes you
almost think this is a chick dressed to go clubbing.

It got me wondering - is she taking after the daring trend of news anchors in some western parts of the world? 

Anchors from different countries...with 'cowbells' all in your face.

Over the years, female news anchors in a number of countries have taken news casting to another level giving viewers the news with 'full frontal exposures' that would probably make you not pay attention to what is being said but focus on what is being 'bared'. (It's all over YouTube) I suspect that its the usual gimmick to raise ratings for the stations involved. But then, Channels is a reputable station and this is NIGERIA - dem no born you well to flash tits during news hour...well unless you're Cossy Orjiarkor who's not even a newscaster.  

Abeg Channels TV Management do something before una turn us good men into perverts!

Thank you!

Signs of The Times 10 [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, March 31, 2014

Illiteracy is comedy; Ignorance is a comic relief and in between hangs the ridiculous. These facts are being proven and showcased every day around us. All it takes is for you to just keep your eyes peeled and on the lookout any time you're passing through ghettos or rustic neighborhoods. Sometimes you'll even see it in the city. Check out more funny stuff in this 10th installment of Signs of The Times

Just like everybody now owns a cellphone, everyone also carries a business card
I just wonder what the job description of a 'Managing Director' of goat meat selling actually is in the case of this one...

This is a church banner? I thought it was a movie!
And that's the Pastor in marine uniform? I thought it was...ah fogerrit!

Remember that task of writing names of noise makers in Naija public and
private schools? This is how the list of a very wicked person looks like
- the ultimate amebo.

Signboards that prophesy a very dark future for people with Klepto careers.

Can you guess what's wrong with this signboard?

I spent a great deal of my childhood snacking on this type of Kulikuli.
See how person package am...this one na correct SPAM. 

Nearly lost my eyes reading this banner. Dem local government officials
were just too local to speak correct english.

LOL...I hope radiation no go kill person for inside here.
Atomic bomb spirits in action...whoa!

It must be an urban babalawo that put up this banner.
They should probe the person...he might know about okija shrine
and Ibadan house of horror.

Heu! designer T-shirt fabricated 'gbagaun-ly' by some illiterate Nigerian.

I smell 419 here...anyway, I don't drink so I don't care.

Huh? The way we Nigerians twist the English language into knots
gets alarming everyday

But you stole their letters. Abegi...

So going to National conference is an achievement?
Eh...make she add am put for her CV nah...nonsense.

Aargh! I just bit my tongue trying to read this...haba!

The books sold here must smell of fish and chicken -
that is if they sell books. And they sell frozen recharge cards too.
...WTH is that? Okay maybe I didn't read it right.

Na seminar, church service or buka service dem dey do here?
Because this titles are confusing.

Introducing toddlers to politics...that is one twisted idea if you ask me.
Wait...a head boy? In kindergarten? 

This is a very common type of signboard at any local Naija shop or joint.
Even the abokis selling sweets and cigarettes write it too.

Na only valuables? The vehicle nko?
I'm not sure this signboard was in Naija but the message is just hilarious

Maybe the owner of this gym used to be a yahoo-yahoo boy before.

Haa! See how my church members are falling my hand oh!
Wetin concern Chelsea FC with church service?

I am a celebrity...and this can never be my church!
Dem wan turn church into association and parapo!

I presume the available wives and hubbies are HIV positive abi?

Not an intended pun...not even a pun. I wonder how the writer's mouth looks
when he pronounces this lecxical abomination.

Seriously...is this for real?
What a waste of school fees!

Thanks for reading. Have an awesome week ahead!

Dancing Ass-vertisement in Church [Video]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, March 27, 2014

I came across this church video where a 'dancing ministration' took place and it had the female dancers flashing ass and panties all over the place. It was a ballet kind of performance but for goodness sake, how is this kind of performance supposed to go down with the men in the house watching? It just was a desecration of God's altar. One of the dancers was even wearing a part strapless outfit which is really not a good choice for this kind place. There are better dancing outfits that can conceal such exposures...besides I don't think this form of ballet should be performed in churches because there's no way you won't flash some ass - costume properly or not.

The commentator in the video makes some hilarious but good point about the whole shenanigan. Mothers of the church even had the nerve to give not just an applause but a standing ovation!

Like many would say 'we are in the last days' because of the emerging of every prophesied part of the Bible. A lot of funny and weird stuff have befallen Christianity today; some pastors are going insane and telling church members to eat grass, some are twisting the gospel and telling their congregation that nobody will go to hell - calling it the gospel of inclusion, some preach the gospel looking all 'exposed' and calling their ministry 'The Gospel from the Strippers Pole'....the abomination and blasphemy is endless.

Hian!

God save the church oh...

The Harrowing Experiences of Boko Haram Victims [Video]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Many heard about this news or read about it but never saw the video report. Sometimes I wonder how BBC is able to get reports that our local news channels can't seem to access. 

Boko Haram victims that escaped? How come no Naija news reported anything like this? Its shocking that we get to hear about this from a foreign news network. 

Check out the video if you never saw it:

Though I won't say not all our local News networks are not capable of bringing such coverage. I know Channels TV is able to such; its no wonder they are the only station to have lost a reporter on the scene of an insurgent attack.

Randoms: Presido wets his pants, David Mark's Helipad, Cynthia becomes a Yoyo, Kcee & his Yellow lizard....

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, March 19, 2014

While giving an important speech during the launch of his re-election campaign, the President of Colombia,  Juan Manuel Santos was caught on video wetting his pants.

This amazing video showed the moment Juan Manuel Santos was giving the important speech when a wet spot suddenly began appearing in the crotch area of his beige pants.
The 62 year old, who is not known to have any disease, continued on with his speech, seemingly oblivious to his wet pants. As he continued his speech in the city of Barranquilla, the wet patch increased in size.
Santos, a liberal-conservative, is seeking to retain his position when the second largest country in South America goes to the polls in two months. He is facing competition from former Bogota Mayor Clara Lopez Obregon.
The president hopes that when voters will be going to the polls they won’t remember this embarrassing incident.

Could it be that he was sweating down below? Or what on earth would make a grown man wet his pants live while giving a speech? Could it be that the adrenaline rush of acceptance by the crowd before him sent his bladder running amok? If only his pants had been black in color hew would have gotten away with it.

Well...lets hope it doesn't affect his votes. But seriously, how does live pissing at gathering affect votes sef?

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Somebody put up a photo of a mansion with a helicopter launchpad on top which was purported to belong to Senator David Mark.

If this is really true then it really says a lot about why our leaders don't have an inkling of how bad things are in Naija. This was the same man who once said mobile phones are not for everybody way back before the debut of GSM. Somebody like that would have swallowed his words on being reminded of what he said back then.

And like the poster of this photo said, how dem go take know how bad Naija roads are when they always fly instead? Even this man don go as far as having a 'garage' for helicopter. All over the social media there has been this demand '#WhereIsOurMoney?'...well I guess the answer is clear. Look at this house and the copter launch pad - there is part of our money!

Shikena!

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Remember this popular paparazzi photo that seemed to capture Asiwaju Bola Tinubu being caught red-handed by his wife Remi, checking out Sade Okoya's boobs at Chief Rasaq Okoya's 75th birthday in 2010? Blogs trended the photo back then...

One could have just labelled it as a coincidence but when a different photo surfaced from the Okoya's recent ceremony of vow renewal between Shade and her hubby, Chief Rasaq Okoya, I couldn't help but notice another coincidence where Tinubu was standing next to Shade again and the photo looked like a sequel to the 2010 one

 Hey, its just a speculation oh! Abeg no go dey yarn outside say I talk am for here say Tinubu is cutting show with Madam Okoya!

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Okay...I think its becoming clear what it takes for one to become a celebrity, especially when you're a artiste not making enough waves - Just bleach yourself yellow like yoyo and snap naked and half naked photos!

Yes now...there are proofs everywhere. Check out Cynthia Morgan - heard she's an artiste signed onto Jude Okoye's music label. By the way, Jude is Psquare's elder brother.

Cythia...as she is now and as she was then

She for no take these photos...I no see selling point here oh

If you noticed, the bleaching craze has upped its game as more celebrities are scrambling to turn 'yellow' by all means. And Madam Dencia's Whitenicious is suspect as usual. Somebody once told me that celebrities are bleaching in order to look more appealing to the camera - especially those who are actors and actresses. Too bad they've been neck deep in it before Lupita Nyong'o came along and made artificial 'yellow' folks feel stalked by their conscience.

Did Cynthia go 'yellow' for the sake of relevance? And did she go nude so as to create a selling point for herself as a brand? Haven't we seen 'em all before?

But this bleaching tinz....its not good oh! They wan make black folks become extinct?

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Naija music videos are fast becoming a boring watch due to lack of creativity nowadays so I understand the attempt by Kcee (or was it by the director of the shoot?) to try and do something different from the usual.

Unfortunately, the awkward decision to put a dancing animated yellow lizard in his recent 'Hakuna Matata' video was one serious error.

Watching the whole video, I could see no relevance of the dancing creature (which resembled a cross between a Jim Henson muppet and Sid the Sloth in the Ice Age movie) being there. There was no story line or plot to the video and the song had nothing to do with a friendly reptile grooving with humans.

So what was all the animated glitch for?

To make matters worse, the yellow lizard animation looks so fake; the animation is not excellent, its more of a forced 3d job - like the ones you get in a badly produced nollywood movie with stupid CGI effects.

The best way to deduce that the yellow lizard was not necessary is simple - if we minus the lizard, do we lose anything? Can the video still stand?

Yes it can!

I know Kcee is trying to do things differently and wants to be able to shoot music videos that are family friendly (heard he said that to Clarence Peters during his 'Pull Over' video shoot) but this was not properly done. The 'Pull Over' video still beats this one hands down.

Nice try Kcee. At least you try, some other artistes no even dey think at all.

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Flashback Friday: Bright Chimezie's Evergreeness

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 14, 2014

I remembered when I first accidentally came across Ziggima music icon Bright Chimezie on TV. I was in high school back then and was skipping through stations for what to watch. I eventually got tired and left it on one station and his music 'African Style' came on as a filler (you know those open spaces of transmission time on Naija local TV stations that are usually filled up with random music videos). I listened for a moment and I was sort of entranced by his music despite my youthful exuberance and western preferences.

Chimezie in his younger years

The part of the song that got me most hooked was the one where he told a tale of his trip to a western nation and decided to eat a Nigerian meal instead of theirs and the shocked white folk called for the police to report that he was 'committing suicide'. The most popular hook of that part of the track is where he says 'Police eh, police eh, police, he's committing suicide oh; the black man wey dey here is committing suicide oh' . That line stuck with me forever.

Chimezie's music was an urban upbeat kind of high-life with pulsating beats and bass-lines that would make anybody nod to it. He was very creative and stylish with his vocals which was punctuated in systematic rhythm. Many of his songs also carry humorous anecdotes, tales and thought provoking references. This are the elements that make his brand of music evergreen. On listening to 'African Style' again, I was overwhelmed with the quality - it sounded like music that was still very applicable for traditional dance halls today.

A recent photo of Chimezie 

Its equally apparent that breed of artistes that sing like Bright Chimezie seem to be fast going into extinction. Many of his songs are like medleys that stretch deliciously into about 11 minutes of play (also typical of other genres like Juju music, Fuji etc) I once got an insider info that Flavour N'abania used to do gigs that followed the nature of this music. No wonder he's grounded in a contemporary type of urban high-life music; also we can see that he started off with doing remixes of high-life greats. I'm looking forward to seeing who would come out first to do a remix of any of Chimezie's hits.

The last time I saw Chimezie was during the COSON dinner that held at the Muson Centre, V.I. He still looked as vibrant despite his older look. I even came across a more recent video of a 10 minute track he released some time back titled 'Because of English'. Apart from the fact that he has aged over time, he hasn't lost his spark as reflected in the video. He even did some of his trademark moves in the video. And in his usual way of dishing out informative anecdotes, he gives a tour of the Igbo alphabet as well as reminisces of the dangers of speaking vernacular in high school.

I could definitely relate to the later.

In all thism Chimezie has not lost sight of his trademark look (talk about personal branding) of sleevesless or short sleeved ankara tops with traditional beads and cap.

Bright Chimezie has definitely made his own mark in the sands of time of Naija music genre. I hope out contemporary artistes of today can learn a thing or two from him.