Chinua Achebe - A Legend's Passing & Memory

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 22, 2013

Chinua Achebe, one of the Africa’s most celebrated writers and author of the classic novel Things Fall Apart, has passed on.

According to SaharaReporters, Achebe, a Fisher Professor of Literature at Brown University, died last night in a hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. Professor Achebe had been sick for some time.

He was 82 years old

Achebe is one of the African writers that inspired me into writing. I once wanted to do my final year project on him way back in the university but I discovered that other students had picked him up as a case study for their project. Being one who hated following the crowd I had to look for another writer for case study for my project. 

A younger Achebe with his book
- Things Fall Apart

I'll forever remember reading his books in secondary school and having to answer to questions on them during exams. Things Fall Apart was the first African Writers Series book I first came across as a young child when I was still trying to cut my teeth at writing in my very early teens. Later I would go on to read others like No Longer at Ease, Arrow of God (also very popular in secondary school too) and Anthills of the Savannah. I remember I took time to study Anthills because I wanted to learn a certain way Achebe wrote. I actually read his books to know how to write rather than just enjoy the stories.

So I can say he’s been a kind of mentor in writing. He’ll be greatly missed.

And like I tweeted – I read his books as a young student yesterday…today I’m reading his obituary as an adult and a father.

RIP CHINUA ACHEBE

An Ex-Stripper's Seductive Gospel

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, March 21, 2013

For those of you who frequent Youtube a lot, you may have by now come across this weird video of a female preacher who anchors a series she calls ‘The Gospel from the Stripper’s Pole’. She’s infamous for not just baring her cleavage while supposedly preaching the gospel, but letting out her nipples in glaring view.

LaTascha

Her name is LaTascha Emmanuel and she doesn’t see anything wrong with the way she shows off her breasts and calls herself an unconventional minister.

Christian communities were outraged by her defiance and even the audacity to term it a ‘methodology’.  The Global Christian  post reported her as saying

“I can understand with you not agreeing with this methodology. But please understand with all respect for you and the title you hold I don't care. I believe I heard God clearly."

Excuse me!  

Which God was that? Oh…yeah I got it…the devil you mean.

LaTascha reminds me of a poem I wrote years back in the university which I titled ‘A Gospel Truth’. The poem was about a female evangelist who was trying to win a man over to Christ but unfortunately, she was wearing a tight fitting gown which exposed her curves, thighs and clung to her breasts. And rather than receive salvation, the man received an erection. I ended it by saying rather than save a soul for the Lord, she made sure the devil had this one. I wrote the poem after being preached to by ‘sisters’ who got us distracted by what they wore rather than be attracted by what they preached.

Seriously, how the hell do you expect people to get the message gospel when your sinfully distracting them? To be sure that this was her way of handling her ministry I went searching to see if she had another video (who knows the first one might have been a mistake and a boob slip) and then I came across another one which not only had ta-tas and nipples starring you in the face, but the beginning of the video started with a pair of breasts which were no doubt hers as they wore the same outfit as she did.

And the title of her show is just disturbingly wrong…’The gospel from the srtippers pole?’ What kind of holy image is that supposed to conjure? This is definitely new age BS and its sinfully making a mockery of the sacredness of Christianity.

On youtube pages where any of her videos appeared, comments flowed but mostly from horny dudes and Christians who expressed their outrage. The only thing I can say is that LaTascha is fulfilling the part of the scripture – Matthew 24:24 - that says there will be many false prophets, and that they shall show great signs and wonders. I guess this one is showing her own ‘sign and wonder’ for the menfolk to stare at but unlike the last part of that scripture which says ‘if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect’, we are not deceived.

I can imagine what would have happened to her if she messed with Islam in this way.

A Lady's Ass on My e-mail

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, March 18, 2013

I opened my e-mail today to see if I had any unread mails and was shocked to see these risqué Ads posted at the corners of my mail page.

It’s not a new thing to see Ads pasted on the corners of one’s e-mail on yahoo but when the Ad features a pair of female butt cheeks in lacy panties that are about to be removed for some unknown reason, then I think it’s time to cry ‘wolf’!

The butt Ad on my email

I’ve never known yahoo to be that naughty; the most I have ever seen is probably dating site Ads. But it seems of recent, the site has been allowing stuff that could get one into trouble appear on e-mail pages. There was this particular one that was like a game where you were required to click on the bra-strap of a lady in underwear to remove her bra. What actually happened was that the moment you clicked on it, it took you elsewhere (I didn’t bother to find out where). Even if it went to a simple shopping site, what do you think anyone in my office would say if they saw that image of a lady in bra taunting users to click on the strap to remove it?

Of course they’ll think I’m a perv!

Now I open my mail and some lady’s big 'nyansh' in lace ‘pata’ is in the corner apparently daring me to click on the video image which would link somewhere...

The two video images 

Wait! Did I say in ‘the corner’? it was actually in two corners – left and right corners. Now that suspiciously smells of desperation. There was nothing inscribed on the image, it just sits there sinfully distracting and poisoning your mind. They even had the nerve to make it glitter like 3-D in bid to make it attractive. 

Yahoo has officially gone nuts…very soon they may start allowing porn sites to advertise on mail pages. Maybe its because the world is now full of more perverts and decency is becoming old school.

We are definitely in the last days!

NB: Debby Baro...I haven't forgotten your review. Already working on it, will paste it soon as I'm through.

The Disturbing Quality of Kwality

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Saturday, March 16, 2013

There’s an unfortunately supposedly upcoming artiste in town and he calls himself is Kwality. And I’m writing this post to encourage everyone to ENCOURAGE him to find his calling elsewhere.

Why?

Click the link below to download and listen to his music and you’ll know why!

Lion King by Kwality

Kwality

I heard only one quarter of this song and had to stop it. I couldn't listen to the rest. It was so bad that I felt tortured listening to it, I couldn't bear to hear it to the end at all!

I believe this Kwality guy has taken the wrong step in the wrong direction. Music is not for everyone; some are born to sing it, others are born to listen to it. He clearly doesn't belong to the category that sings it.

To make matters worse, I came across this badly recorded video where he was doing a freestyle which was totally wack. The guys who introduced him on camera at first sounded like they were hyping and presenting an upcoming act but it was evident later on that they were actually making jest of him…and unfortunately, the poor guy didn’t realize it.

The high point of the video was when one of the guys said ‘Vic O now had competition’. If you don’t know Vic.O, please google it. Vic O became popular as a result of his wack music; people were so alarmed at what he was doing they began to speak about it all over the internet and walah – he became a sensation for his wackiness.

Unless Kwality aims at becoming something like that…I’ll say the guy should just stay away from music! 

But if he still insists on doing it, well...here are a few lessons he can learn from Vic O. (courtesy Korro.net) which may or may not help him.

1. Ignore people's comments and insults if you must Press on.

2. Try to be the Most you can even with the little you have. 

Vic O.

3. Even if you're being laughed at by many, Keep on working, because you could get paid for making  people laugh. 

4. People could be entertained whether you're making sense or not.

5. It doesn't matter how small the town you're from, with persistence you could be known around the  World 

6.  If people wont admire you for your talent, they will admire you for your self-belief.

7.  In This world, anything anybody is determined to do, he/she can do it. 

I may be wrong in saying Kwality should trash the idea of going into music after looking at these points because if it seems to be working for Vic O. it might work for him too...after all, crappy music seems to be unbelievably selling.

I don't even know what to say anymore. Is this Kwality guy worth encouraging or he should be totally discouraged? Because for me, the skills he possesses in singing amount to nothing, even auto-tune failed him.

What do you think?

The Commandant's Ignorance Parodied [Videos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, March 14, 2013

That the Nigerian government is full of half-baked individuals in positions of leadership is not new. Though we may not know them personally but with time their mediocrity will always expose them. The greatest mistake many of such leaders make is being interviewed or captured on Television; if you know your knowledge is stunted or limited, don't expose yourself anyhow on TV.

Unfortunately, many of them never got such a memo.

We have seen the Patience Jonathan grammar dramas...we have seen the President Jonathan's electricity claims and how CNN Amanpour did a Nigerian vox populi that backfired on his claim, all this  to mention a few. But still, many still don't get the message or learn a lesson.

The most recent which occurred a few days ago was Civil Defence Corps Commandant Obafaiye Shem's disgraceful exposition of his lack of knowledge on Channel's Television. The news circulated fast over the internet, BB broadcasts spread the video link everywhere. If you never saw the video, check it below:

You'd think it would end there but no, it didn't. Trust creative Nigerians to turn it into an internet meme. Two music parodies mockng the event surfaced on Youtube. The first was titled 'My Oga At The Top' by Dj Ziggy on Amebortalk's channel. See video below:

Later, a guy called Dubie did an acoustic version with the help of his friends on his channel. It was creatively sung with Ad-libs and brief rap segments. I'm not sure if they actually planned this from the way it was done because it looked like something they just did randomly and it worked. Check out the hilarious video below:

So...I'm hoping with these view points of mine and with the above videos, I have been able to convince and not confuse our leaders 'who no too sabi' to get the memo!

Aisle Perfect's Perfections [Blog Review]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, March 14, 2013

Like I promised on the 'Who are they?' photo quiz, I said I would review the blogs of those who made good efforts at guessing the names, especially those whose blogs are up to date. Okwuchi and Debby 'Baro had the most up to date blogs so I'll be doing full reviews on them. Today, I review Okwuchi's. For others whose blogs were not up to date, I'll just do a joint micro review. So here goes Okwuchi's.

A female friend of mine who runs her own blog once said of my own blog that I run the blog very professionally. I was flattered though I the thought of being professional actually never occurred to me. I only wanted to run a blog that was well organized, arranged, constructive and creatively written in such a way that anybody who comes there won’t find the moment boring.

So, if you asked me about my blog, I probably wouldn't have thought of it as professional. But if you asked me of Aisle Perfect, now that’s definitely a professional blog.

From the name, you can get the idea of what this blog is about and from the look and site aesthetics, you are taken into the glamorous and romantic world of nuptials. From the simple masthead which consists of stylishly written header amidst falling confetti to the white expanse of the site body, Century Gothic fonts and vivid photography display, Aisle Perfect is a site that says a lot with its simplicity. It’s put together in such a way that it’s easy to view and relaxing to read; you don’t have too many things conflicting with your line of vision. Photos that showcase the creativity of weddings help add to the beauty in their digital splendor.

The payoff under the masthead title which says ‘inspiring romantics one click at a time’ is so apt and works very well for the site. This alone adds more spice to the professional look of the site; it’s a marketing statement that is true to what the site is truly about. I know this so well as an Ad man.

Unlike some blogs who make use of images they don’t own without crediting owners, Aisle Perfect always credits the photos used; especially when it’s a certain photographer’s work.

Some interesting aspects of Aisle perfect are feautured stories behind the wedding preparations or sometimes engagement ceremonies which all come in either photography or videos. For intending couples who may be wondering what to do on their wedding day or how their wedding should look like, this is a site that will most definitely help. There are categorized links on the site that will take you to pages should you be specifically looking for entries that address a certain need from inspiration to planning to honeymoon suggestions or showcases.

There are also the periodic features with the same title as the site – Aisle Perfect – which features any actual wedding event of certain couples which was outstanding and commendable. They are usually features that offer tips one can learn from a well put together wedding or simply experiences that you may want to replicate in your own wedding.

I would have said that Aisle Perfect is a blog that’s as perfect as its name but I feel there’s one thing lacking – no reference as to who runs the site. Normally, blogs would have a side docket which introduces who runs the site. For Aisle Perfect, the only way I got to know who runs the site was by checking the comment section – to see the name of the respondent to the comments. On my blog it was ‘Okwuchi’ but on the site its ‘Binie O’. I can’t be sure if they are the same person or a team.  And then  again this omission could be deliberate.  I would have said there was also no contact address but I guess that has been taken care of by the twitter handle, facebook, mail etc icons on the upper right hand side of the site.

On the whole, Aisle Perfect serves its purpose very well as a wedding site and maintains the attraction with lovely photography and illustrations that complement its intelligently written posts.  If you’re not married and you haven’t been there yet, you’ll be missing the opportunity to do yourself a good favour.

NB: I eventually found out that the site does not belong to Okwuchi but I'll still leave the review.

Wardrobe Awkwardness at the AMVCA [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The first edition of the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards has come and gone and it had its ups and downs as usual of any event on its first outing. I never got a glimpse of the red carpet showcase. I’m usually not interested in watching people display what they are wearing while answering cliché and boring questions.

The ceremony was in full gear by the time I got to start viewing it. Trust me to always look for the FAILS about the event. Apart from the tackiness of the auditorium which looked like a poorly lit event hall, outfits of some of the celebrities got me wondering what were they thinking when they got into those clothes.There were many outfits that warranted being jibed at, like Genevieve's boob popper but I won't dwell on those because they were only for a moment to be seen. 

I wish I had started snapping pictures earlier when I noticed about two or three of the women who came on stage at different times, wore gowns that had trailing pieces behind as long as that of a wedding gown. One of them had to have a guy help her carry the trailing piece along as they both ascended the stage.  I kept asking, what was the point? I remember one of them was in the crew behind the production of the movie ‘The Mirror Boy’.

Jim Iyke looking like a student in his shorts.

Then Jim Iyke came on stage on his own cue wearing knickers…abi na shorts, Daring guy…at least he made me laugh. It was a departure from looking suave and 'sesky'; he just looked plain ridiculous.

Well, at least we only saw them for the moment. But we saw the hostess most of the time.

And what was she wearing?

Flaunting her legs or just playing safe in that weird gown?

A ridiculous outfit that looked like an unfinished project…it was something that looked like three quarters of a gown and one-quarter of a mini-skirt. And the hostess (can’t recall her name but I know she’s not Nigerian) had to maintain this awkward standing position which evidently revealed that she was not 100% comfortable in the outfit. The dress looked so ‘unsafe’ I felt for her. Any small miscalculation or wardrobe malfunction and we’d probably end up seeing everything she wore underneath.

Even I.K., her male co-host seemed a bit concerned about anything going wrong with the outfit.  She survived, but she was some ridiculous spectacle on that stage. I wonder if she at some time got cramps in her legs standing like that most of the time.

The Darkness of Olamide's 'Voice of the Streets'

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 08, 2013

Just last month I did an entry on Rihanna's disturbing perfume commercial and I highlighted a number of things that have become synonymous with today's entertainment abroad. By now it won't be news that disturbing stuff have started appearing in Nigerian music videos today; every day we are bombarded by music and videos that throw odd visuals in our faces successively with every airplay until we are BRAINWASHED into accepting them as ordinary every day videos. Meanwhile our first response was ‘What the heck was that all about?’

I recently viewed by accident a video by rap artiste Olamide who seemed to have filled the gap the late rapper Dagrin left behind. The video was for the song ‘Voice of the Streets’. Actually I should have started with an earlier video done for another song by Olamide titled ‘Ilefo Illuminati’. But I just didn’t want to waste my time as I felt it was just a publicity stunt to gather attention around the song, video and artiste. Everybody I’ve come across seems not to have a clue what the title of the song was about. Apart from that, the rest of the song’s lyrics seem to border on a typical theme that Naija artistes are fond of always focusing on – self edification and the daring of all haters. This is characterized by all the bragging swag exhibited throughout the song.

In ‘Voice of the streets’ it’s the same kind of bragging that resonates all through. In both songs he seems to be speaking out against detractors who are against his progress; while ‘Ilefo Illuminati’ echoes his defiance against the illuminati (I don’t know why he had to do that), ‘Voice of the streets’ just rambles on at no particular person but detractors in general. From that kind of title one would expect more – like a rebel against societal injustice.

Striking similarities between Olamide & The Game's videos
(Click to enlarge & view)

While his ‘illuminati’ video (obviously a copycat of The Game’s disturbing ‘Martians vs Goblins’ video) managed to dramatize the lyrics of the song, the video for ‘Voice of the streets’ takes a rather disturbing turn that made me wonder if Olamide was just high on something when writing his lyrics and when shooting the video. (Somebody once told me that he now uses drugs of stimulants for his aggressive performances. I don’t know how true this is though).

‘Voice of the streets’ is weird in the sense that it tries to mix violence disposition with saintliness. For the first part of the video, we see images of a violent Olamide on the streets destroying stuff with thugs in some cases and then in the second part we see him assuming some saintly role as a monk surrounded by fellow devotees in red cloaks. Later on we would see him and his weird and ghostly looking devotees with blood-colored teardrops falling down their cheeks.

I don’t know why he had to repeat the part of the lyric that chanted the Guru Maharaji metaphor at the beginning up to three times and also feature people in red cloaks before red candles in some eerie gothic church. And with all these he reiterates lines like;

Moni mo lati lowo                      (I must become wealthy)

mo de ni mo lati fly                   (And I have to soar)

Mo ni mio ni se ogun owo        (I can’t do ‘jazz’ money)

Mio de ni gbe ebo lo si shrine  (I can’t do sacrifices at a shrine)

I be bad boy and i dey go church and I dey try

And somewhere in the beginning we hear him say:

I only look up to God

Gothic looking church

You hear him make efforts to sound as though he has a ‘church mind’ but then go ahead and conflict it with questionable lines as seen below:

  

O mo pe Jesu loba                   (You know that Jesus is King)

Oloun pray kin wa sober          (Pray that I get sober)

Won npe mi lomo esu               (They call me devil’s child)

shey you see am for my head? (Is it written on my head?)

  

Oye kin nwa ni Kirikiri now ballin a crime (I should be in kirikiri prison serving time)

The visuals we see in this video is kind of too deep and disturbing for the lyrics. Despite the showcasing of church background, crucifixes, candles and paintings of Jesus, it still comes across as disturbing. In fact a number of people who viewed it said it was ‘demonic’.

Olamide the monk and red candles

Devotees come to kneel before him

Could Olamide have intended it to be a simple street wise video but was influenced by some creative person’s dark input? The video reminds me of Kanye West’s ‘Jesus Walks’ which seemed to be a rap with religious vibe but unknown to many, it actually wasn’t and it had demonic subliminals in it.

Shooting a video is a whole big deal. You can sing a cute pure song and your video can distort its message and make it look evil with the nature of its visuals. I would have said the same for Olamide had not his lyrics been a contradictory mix of violent personality and displays with saintly and Holy references.

Who Are They? [20 Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, March 04, 2013

I was in the mood for a giveaway but I couldn't figure out what to do but eventually I came up with an idea. Whoever can guess the names of all the celebrities whose younger days photos appear here will have his or her blog fully reviewed and highlighted in one of my entries...and also randomly retweeted on Twitter. If you have a current entry on your site, I'll visit it, comment there and retweet that entry.

So...let the guessing begin! I'll give you a tip on the first photo...the person you need to guess is the one under the question mark. I'm not doing more than that! Cheers! 

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

Oya!

Start labeling them!

Night Riders - Pajama Wonder

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, March 01, 2013

‘Wetin dis girl wear so? No be pinjamas be dat?’ Wasiu whispered harshly, his hemp smelling breath fanning across Rasaq’s cheeks.

Rasaq squinted and furrowed his nose. Though he had spent majority of his lifetime living amongst weed smokers who tried to buy his interest by exaggerating its purported ‘benefits’, he still could not generate an iota of affinity for the infamous herb.

‘E be like so oh’, He replied frowning to focus as if his vision could zoom in.

They were poised to operate for the night; Wasiu with motorbike revving and ready, Rasaq seated behind with a locally fabricated pistol held tightly in his right hand positioned for action. Their target was a lone female figure strolling briskly along the dark edges of Ayanikoro neighborhood; the areas that the poorly lit streetlights failed to illuminate.

She actually was in a weird white outfit that looked pajamas with a pair of sandals. Though she wore a haircut, her gait, the presence of a full backside and pointed breasts was what assured them that she was female. She carried a rucksack on her back and a polythene bag in her right hand.

‘Ore, we must make sure say this one no be shit oh.’ Wasiu said bringing Rasaq’s memory back to a failed operation days ago where they had unknowingly snatched a bag of used diapers containing baby crap from a nursing mother at a deserted busstop.

Rasaq dipped his left finger into his jeans pocket and tugged at the inner linen to free his testicles. The jeans he was wearing was tight and making his crotch uncomfortable. There wasn’t even space for him to wear boxers. His love for the way the jeans amplified his swag and hunky leg muscles overshadowed the fact that it was also an agony for his large privates.

‘Make we move?’ Wasiu was getting tired of waiting.

Rasaq took one last survey of the surroundings then nodded.

Wasiu swung the motorbike into motion and cruised swiftly down the partially dark corners of the street.

Rasaq dropped some distance away from the pajama clad girl who didn’t even glance back to see what was transpiring behind her.

This chick is careless oh. She’s not even bothered that she might be in danger, he thought as he snuck up slowly behind trying to catching up with her pace.

Wasiu then cruised the motorbike ahead, overtaking her and parking in the distance ahead, hidden from sight under the cover of darkness.

Rasaq caught up with her, his pistol lifted to initiate threat.

‘Hey, you!’ He called out sternly.

The lady didn’t stop walking but she turned to see who was behind.

‘Stop right there or I dash you two bullets!’ Rasaq barked quietly.

He could see her more clearly. She was cute and kind of portly with a well chiseled dark face creviced with dimples. She wore stud earrings, no make-up and seemed to be have been sweating lightly.

She stopped when she noticed the gun in his hand. Her jaw fell open in shock. It was an indicator that she least expected to ever be in such a situation. But rather than fret in fear, she remained firm and somewhat confident.

Rasaq surveyed the booty – the one she carried in her hand and on her shoulder, and the one she carried on her backside. The latter wasn’t part of the plan but Rasaq just couldn’t resist big bottomed women. It was his weakness; his curse. He felt his crotch threatened to revolt under the tightness of his jeans.

‘Gimme that bag, now!’ he barked under his breath waving the gun at her. He sensed a little flutter in his voice; his lustful desire was conflicting with his primary focus.

She looked at him for a moment before dropping the bags in front of her, not too far from her feet.

Rasaq moved to pick the bags.

Wasiu moved to pick Rasaq.

The lady moved...on the two of them.

What happened next was so swift that Rasaq and Wasiu didn’t have enough time to comprehend it.

As Rasaq got closer to where the bags lay, the girl in pajamas went into a fast circular spin lifting up an outstretched leg which deflected the pistol from his hand.

Before he could recover from that, she had gone into another spin, this time crouching lower and aiming her outstretched leg for his legs.

Rasaq felt himself going airborne as his legs where wacked off the floor. He landed on his back a terrified gasp and shock escaped him with the impact.

As Wasiu rode up to the scene, he was also met with a roundhouse kick to the jaw that threw him off the motorbike. He hit the road and found himself rolling off an edge and crashing into a gutter. The motorcycle fell forward on its side, skidding across the asphalt and creating sparks until it stopped some distance away, engine still running.

Rasaq picked himself up, angry, dazed out of his mind and ready to attack when he found himself starring into the barrel of his own local pistol.

The pajama lady was pointing the gun between his eyes. She was panting heavily, her full bosom moving to the rhythm. She wore this enraged look on her face that made him instantly raise his hands in surrender.

Wasiu crawled out of the gutter dripping with water and slime. Spoiling for retaliation he stealthily crept up behind her to grab her from behind. Unfortunately, he had been foolish enough to think she had forgotten about him and that he could still handle her; for him, once beaten did not result in being twice shy – a dumb lesson gathered from rough experiences at the garage.

He grabbed her from behind, locking her arms in a gripping embrace. She reacted instantly bending into an angle that enabled her to step to one side, grab his legs and yank them off the ground. Wasiu screamed as he hit the ground, the back of his head scooping dirt.

She straightened up in a stance that reeked of martial authority and commandeered them with the gun.

‘The two of you get down on your knees before I do worse!’ She barked. It was the first time they were hearing her voice. It was very feminine; cheeky vibrato yet tough.

They scuttled over to obey her command; the fear of an unpredictable butt-kicking damsel wielding a gun was the beginning of wisdom.

‘How dare you attack me! Have you no shame?’ her angry voice rang disturbingly in their ears. Rasaq became wary that she might trigger the gun in her rage.

‘No vex…na miscalculation…’ he pleaded betrayed by a shaky voice.

Wasiu gave him a disappointed look. Though they had been overpowered, he didn’t believe they needed to suck up to her as he felt Rasaq was doing.

‘Shut up. Do you know I could have killed you both if I wanted to?’ She said, her angry voice had now reduced to a cold uneasy calm one.

That was when Rasaq and Wasiu had their Eureka moment of realization. She hadn’t been wearing pajamas; she had been sporting a martial arts uniform.

‘Bad market.’ Wasiu hissed with regret under his breath.

‘What did you say?’ she asked with a suspicious scowl.

‘Nothing ma.’ Wasiu lied alarmed at his own response.

Did he just call her ‘ma’? Wasiu the baale of ghetto and garage chicks just called a girl ‘ma’?

‘Now get the hell out of here before I decide to empty your own bullets or gun powder into you!’

Rasaq took off towards where the bike lay. Wasiu hesitantly remained.

‘What?’ She queried his refusal to leave.

‘Eermm…you fit give us the…ermm…gun back?’

The local pistol  had cost them a lot to fabricate.

She looked at him then at the gun and laughed.

‘You wish!’ She yelled at him and flung the pistol into a nearby wide canal that had water gushing through. Wasiu watched bug-eyed with despair as the pistol submerged under the dirty waves of overlapping water.

‘Are you still standing there?’

She had assumed a stance; one that reminded him of ‘Snake in the monkey shadow’ an old kung-fu movie he’d seen many times. His jaw and head still ached badly, and dirt still tasted in his mouth from the beating she had given him earlier.

There was enough reason not to desire second helpings of another one. He got up and took off after Rasaq.

‘Next time no dey suggest make we go after woman wey wear pinjamas’ Wasiu grumbled as he climbed up behind Rasaq on the motorbike.

Rasaq said nothing. The shame from being floored by a female seemed to have seized his capability for speech.

They heard laughter behind them.

It was the girl; arms akimbo, defiant, looking at them and having a hell of a last laugh.

Rasaq fired the motorbike and they zoomed away from the vicinity and out of sight before the shame became something else.