Ufuoma Ejenobor & Hubby Welcome First Child

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 15, 2012

 

 

 

I couldn't resist putting up a congratulatory post for Ufuoma Ejenobor and her hubby, Steve Mcdermott on the arrival of their first child. Ufuoma is a rising nollywood actress while Steve is a Advertising practitioner who I once worked with (now you see why I had to put this up!).

 

 

Ufuoma

 

 

 

Steve

The couple was blessed with a baby boy on wednesday 10th of October. Congrats to the couple and most especially Steve who was my Creative Director way back. Then he was still single. He later got married to Ufuoma nearing his final days with the company in April 2010.

You'd hardly see a pic of Steve online but I happen to be in possession of some.
Oh...and that's not his new son in the pic for those of you gossip bloggers who'd want to copy it and start lying about the net that you got a pic of Steve and his son!

Kids Do The Darndest Things

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 15, 2012

 

Timi shows off her honor badge.

 

Kids have always been known to say the most amusing things in their cute little lives of innocence. I get a daily dosage of that from Timi, my little 3 year old. I’ve always taken time to study her mannerisms as she grew in order to understand her personality, her hobbies, her strengths and gifts. Her baby brother at 1 year and five months also has his own amusing mannerisms – this was even further amplified ever since he started walking.

 

 

Timi has this amusing habit of always asking for permission to always do almost anything even if it’s to pee or poop. (She can actually do it by herself without supervision). Timi would ask permission to drink the water you placed in front of her meal; she’d ask permission to wash her hands after eating; she’d ask permission to play with her toys which she’s free to play with anytime; she’d ask permission to even go to sleep! At some point I would always try to tell her that she needn’t ask me permission to do some of these things but as we know, small pikin no dey too hear word. She’d do it again and again. Wifey explained it off as Timi just being extra-careful not to overstep her bounds (Ha! She gets that from me!).

 

 

My Babygirl's Virtue Honor Badge

 

 

Then she came home today sporting a Virtue honors badge from school on her uniform. The honors badge is a periodical badge of honor given to pupils who excel in some aspect or behavior in the course of the week in school. Timi’s habit of not overstepping her bounds was obviously very noticeable in school; she turned out to be a well-behaved as a result thus earning her a Virtue badge.

 

I was so proud of her.

 

And I decided to stop trying to get her not to ask permission for the things that didn’t really require asking permission.

 

Raising up kids in today’s corrupted society with the magnitude of filth around and in the media is not so easy for any parent. You don’t know what your kids are learning and who they are mixing with when you’re not there. But whatever bit of positive behavior you notice surfacing in your child, it’s good to celebrate it and let them know you appreciate it. We try our best to expose Timi and her brother to only positive stuff and leave the rest to God when we’re not there. And we make sure that we appreciate her when she does something good.

We should never underestimate kids from the ages of 1 upwards; you’ll be surprised how these kids soak in stuff around you.

 

So when that kid does something cool, make a big deal of it. The aftermath can be very rewarding.

The 'Gbagauns' of Yoruba Nollywood

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, October 11, 2012

Did I once mention that the inability to construct correct English is fast becoming comedy in Naija entertainment? Oh yes it is. In fact comedians like Funke Akindele and Princess have suceeded in creating characters whose laughter inducing prowess lies in the ability to butcher the English language.

 

But that is comedy based on deliberate shotguns of English and it is quite understandable.

 

Meanwhile there is undeliberate destruction of the English language that is rampant in Yoruba Nollywood  movies. You find yourself watching scenarios which are meant to be serious or suspenseful but just can't help laughing when you read the crazy 'gbagauns' in the subtitles. ('Gbagaun' is a Naija slang that refers to gramatical errors or lexicon typos).

 

I'm forced to wonder...with all the so-said development taking place in Nollywood, is getting someone who can actually translate properly a hard thing?

 

Though I will still credit some other Yoruba movies which have proper subtitling and even do an accurate job but the ones that don't are numerous. You might have seen some of these on the internet...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can always catch some of these ridiculous subtitling on Africa Magic Yoruba on DSTV or any other means by which you can watch yoruba movies. The first few scenes in some cases should tell you whether its a properly subtitled movie or not.

 

I still laugh when I read the gbagauns above. How can it be this bad? Is this not a way of letting the International viewership know that some of our movie makers no sabi English?

 

Which one do you find most hilarious of them all?

 

 

 

RE: Aluu Murders - A Glimpse of Things to Come? [Photo]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 09, 2012

 

 

 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture of one of the Uniport students holding up a placard during the protest on the Aluu Murders says quite a lot and casts a shadow of likely retribution on the community.

Aluu Killings Suspects - Real & Fake Photos

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 08, 2012

Thanks to the internet, social media, the use of phones and cameras, we can attempt to expose culprits behind the dastardly act of the killings of the four UNIPORT students, Lloyd, Chidiaka, Tekena and Ugonna.




The Aluu Victims

 

Ugonna with a lady believed to be his girlfriend

Currently, the media is abuzz with photos of individuals whose faces were caught on camera at the scene. A still photo of the man who actually lit the match that set the boys ablaze was equally captured and is being circulated online.



One of the suspects as caught on camera

 

 

Another suspect

 

 

The man who lit the match that set them ablaze

 

However, in the midst of attempting to circulate photos of the killers, some photos which have nothing to do with the Aluu killings are being passed off as photos of the killers being caught. The following pictures below are being wrongly paraded as the army arresting a suspect. The photos have nothing to do with the Aluu incident.

 

If you look closely at the photos, you'll notice that the half-stripped guy and the camouflaged men are actually laughing. It's more of a celebration than an arrest. Maybe its the half-naked dude's birthday as he seems to have been drenched in water that may have been poured on him to celebrate. It's not even certain if the men in Camouflage are really from the army - none of them is carrying a weapon.

 

 

The photo above is also another fake being paraded as Soldiers arresting suspects. The photo is actually a very old pix that was dug up from the internet by some mischievious individuals.

Demonic Jungle Justice - The Aluu Killings

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Sunday, October 07, 2012

 

 

I would have written something on this sad story of 4 students being bludgeoned and burnt to death for either stealing laptops and phones or being cultists (whichever the crime was) but I was just too horrified after seeing the video of these young men who could have been anybody’s erring kids being sent to their deaths by a irate mob of Aluu indigenes in Rivers State.

One person who calls himself a human being literarily beat them to death as though they were animals! I wonder…does he have children? Who made him the master executioner?

 

 

And he had the stomach to set a fellow human being on fire!

 

Is life this meaningless in Nigeria?

 

We’re not even very sure of the crime they said they committed or what they stood for…so why were the people so eager to kill?

 

How are you who is casting the stone against these men any better and in the position to judge their fate?

 

I watched the video and was so disturbed for the next few minutes when I saw the mindless killing of these young men. Presently, the video has been yanked off youtube due to its horrific content. Thank goodness for that.

 

Though there is claim that an arrest has been made of the community traditional ruler, I’m also hearing that there may be a plot afoot to revenge on the indigenes of the community that killed these boys. I don’t know how true that is, but if it is, then we are on the verge of another communal crisis.

 

May God help us in this Nation!

                                                                                                                                    

 

World's Largest Painting - Nigeria Breaks Record Again

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, October 05, 2012

There are many reasons for one to be proud to be a Nigerian.

Making history in the Guinness book of world records is one of them.

On November 17, 2010, Ecole de Dessin in partnership with Lagos State Government, Nigeria, unveiled the world’s largest painting by numbers which measures 3,130.55 m² (33,696 ft² 138.2 in²)

The painting was created by 350 volunteers and represents the map of Nigeria, the logo of 350.org in the middle of the map, the flag of Nigeria (green, white, green) which was painted around the map.

This iconic painting is currently up for exhibition at the Methodist Boys High School Victoria Island Lagos from the 1st of October to the 12th of October 2012. This event is in partnership with the Lagos State Government.

If you're in Lagos, this is an opportunity to view the record breaking painting. This same painting has been featured conspicuously in the 2011, 2012 and the recently the 2013 Guinness World Records Books.

Visit: www.ecolededessin.org  for more info

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When a Spouse Beats Another

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, October 05, 2012

 

When I moved into the neighborhood where I currently stay, I had some time to meet with the son of the landlord who was in charge of seeing to the affairs of the building. This was a good looking dude who lived in a nicely furnished apartment and had a nice car. But his home lacked any female presence. I later learnt that he was actually married before but was now divorced because he beat his wife too often. Even in talking to him, I was able to sense that this guy was not all that happy…he sort of missed the companionship and comfort of a female partner.

Then as I got to know my area the more, I came to discover that a certain celebrity (an artiste) lived some streets away from mine. I was surprised to discover that I had come across him a number of times in the neighborhood without knowing that he was the one. He looked like a calm person and laughed with people around him. But I was stunned to discover that he was also a serious wife beater.

 

And this trend can be found everywhere; from entertainment circles to personal lives out there.

 

In my few years of experience in marriage and studies of different relationships, I’ve come to observe that a woman’s part and influence in a relationship is always underestimated.

People have always referred to women as the ‘weaker sex’ or the ‘gentler sex’. In my own opinion, I find this fallacious; the conception that women are weak or powerless is very wrong. They are in fact very instrumental to a man’s rising or to his falling.

If you go into history books and read about majority of great men who have made history, you’ll find out that there’s a woman behind them. Also for a lot of the infamous men who have caused created great crimes against mankind, there’s a woman involved, either secretly or openly.

The power of a woman has always been either underestimated or just plain bastardised by society. A woman is God’s awesome creation designed to help and propel a man to greater achievement in life.

But why do some men end up as wife beaters?

This is an age-long mystery that has gone through different spheres of attempted explanation from the medical/psychological to that of diabolical spiritual influence. In order to get a clearer viewpoint, I decided to investigate through the number one life manual – the Bible.

If you’ve searched the scriptures you’d probably have come across these verses:

Pro 12:4  A virtuous woman [is] a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed [is] as rottenness in his bones.

 

Pro 14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

 

Pro 21:9  [It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. (Repeated in Pro 25:24 and Pro 21:19)

 

Pro 18:22  [Whoso] findeth a wife findeth a good [thing], and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 

Pro 31:10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

 

Ecc 7:26  And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart [is] snares and nets, [and] her hands [as] bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.

 

 

From the above scriptures, we can see when a woman is good and when a woman is bad. God has given us the freedom to choose between right and wrong. Some women chose to be of the good report, others chose to be the other. Some times its circumstantial, sometimes it’s deliberate.

Also from the above, I figured out that women have this power that can make or destroy men; the power to keep the home or destroy it.

 

Now this brings me back to the aspect of wife-beaters…

 

 

 

What on earth would drive a man to beat his wife? Does it just happen like that? There has to be fire before the smoke.

 

I watched a documentary where women from abused relationships were being interviewed as to how they were beaten black and blue by their husbands. It was sad listening to their stories and you’d feel angry at the man in question.

But I had a problem with just listening to the stories of these women. What about the man’s side of the story? Has anybody heard it?

 

It is wrong for a man to hit his wife, no doubt about it but something must have driven a man to that point.  I heard one say it was because he didn’t want the pregnancy or that it started with a slap and later an apology then the slap became frequent…still I say there’s a part of the story we’re not hearing.

 

A friend of mine went through the strains of a divorce and she told me of how badly her in-laws and her ex-hubby treated her; what led to them divorcing…On hearing her story, you’ll end up sympathizing with her but I refused to eat it all simply because I never heard the guy’s part of the story…oh, and I also know some habits and funny behavior that my friend has that could be quite unhealthy to her marriage. I didn’t hear anything about that quirk. Her story got her hearers rooting for her…and nobody heard the ex-hubby’s side of the story!

 

 

A Man’s ego is an integral part of him. Men are wired that way and when anything threatens this ego, there’s bound to be a terrible backlash. That’s why women are told to ‘submit’ to their husbands. Men are also told to ‘love’ their wives in that their ego does not interfere; each party has a role to play. But when one party fails to play its role, it affects the other party.

 

Take a good look at the first scripture quoted earlier (Pro 12:4) – it says a virtuous woman is crown to her hubby but he one that makes him ashamed is like rottenness to his bones. This tells me that a woman can either be a man’s pride or just become a constant nag that's driving him nuts. And not all men are patient enough to stomach the rottenness thus the wife beating ensues.

This is not to say that a woman whose life is endangered in any marriage should not take a hike and save herself. But she should also check herslf to be sure that she didn't genuinely make him go crazy.

Take a look at the other scriptures and you’ll see how the good and the bad of it fit into what I’m talking about.

 

Sometimes if not most times, the so-called wife beater may not have struck without some very dire provocation…I think it makes sense to hear both sides of the story.

 
Don’t you?

Images courtesy

www.wittenburgdoor.com

www.navynavstress.com

 

www.thebackpew.com

Naked In Church?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Sunday, September 30, 2012

 

It’s Sunday and it’s the last day of the month of September which means an important service is taking place in church today – Thanksgiving.

 

As usual, you see people dressed in their flamboyant and traditional best, the whole place is colorful. But then, whether its thanksgiving or not, there are people who don’t seem to think before they dress to church.

 I mean, why would you dress to church as if you’re going to a club?

 

 

 

 

 

Wifey and I had gotten into church and located a vantage place to sit so we can hear and view the preacher well.  We had settled down only for me to notice that there was a major distraction three seats ahead of me – a lady in a short and silky gown that bared so much skin and looked more like an undergarment than what you’d wear to a church outing.

If you wore this outfit to a club, it would have fit the scenario since anything scandalous goes but for goodness sake…in a church?

 

This was just as good as coming to church half naked. Abi which kain excuse she go give for dressing like that? I’ve seen a lot of wrongly dressed people in church before but this one was just too much.

 

I just hope the guys were able to concentrate!  

Now Trending:Pant-less Women!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, September 28, 2012

Why do some people go about without undies?

This was the question raised on a radio program last night.  The show was meant to address why some women don’t wear undies and men don’t wear briefs or boxers nowadays. Callers called in to air their different views. In the long run, the idea of a man not wearing briefs was somehow seen as escapable since there’s no way anyone would know…unless the person is wearing a tight jeans or trousers which could give out the outline of a badly tucked ‘equipment’. One guy even narrated an experience which showcased the disadvantages of not wearing boxers or briefs. He had wanted to take a pee and in the process of getting it out to do the business, his ‘equipment’ got stuck in the zipper. It wasn’t a pleasant experience at all!

The discussion later veered and focused more on the women. While some female callers explained that they’d usually not wear panties when wearing in some particular jeans or trousers that would not expose them, the question was still raised as to why some women still go ahead not to wear undies underneath skirts or gowns.

Amebo Clothes...No panties!

What is the motive or reason behind this?

A lot of possible reasons were raised:

• ·         Some women don’t wear undies because they want to feel ‘freer’ underneath when going on night outings because they’re tired of wearing it all day and also feel nobody will notice it at night.
• ·         Some women don’t wear it because they want to be ‘accessible’ to their date for that adventurous outing (that sounds like a very obvious reason!)  
• ·         Some women don’t wear it because they want to use ‘the area’ to achieve something (like the story of the student that wore no underwear during an exam and sat at a vantage point before the Invigilator. So while she got him distracted by opening her legs underneath the desk, she was able to copy answers for the exam!)
• ·         Some women don’t wear it because they want their backsides to look more attractive and show no panty lines.
• ·         Some simply don’t wear it because they are at home. (This reason seems to make the most sense!)

Someone even mentioned on a site that with the nature of Nigeria’s weather, wearing undies all day can be uncomfortable…is that to say global warming is also affecting our women’s nether regions?

If you google this statement - ‘the evolution of the underwear’ you’ll get a display in the image section that truly says it like the one below:

Na global warming dey cause am?

While boxers and briefs don’t seem to have changed much through history, it seems women’s underwear is seriously disappearing.  It used to be knickers way back and gradually it got smaller. Then it gradually became a combination of ropes called thongs or G-strings. (I can’t fathom how comfortable women are in these things sef!).  My wife has a pair and I always laugh looking at it. I keep wondering how she manages to settle her big butt between those ropes. My amusement would probably be like this joke I saw on twitter:

A prostitute died of AIDS. Her grandma went to pack her things and saw her G-strings. 

She was shocked and said. ‘This AIDS bad oh! See as e chop her pant!’

Many Grandmas will never understand
that weird undergarment called  G-string.

So what’s the next evolving stage of the female underwear after the thong or G-string? Would it be just no underwear? From the current trending habit of not wearing panties, it seems we have reached that stage!

On info that I gathered around, I discovered that there are a lot of people who don’t see anything wrong with a woman not wearing panties.

Wow...have the female undies finished evolving and gone into extinction?

To make matters worse, we have revealing outfits which in the name of fashion and being sexy, end up doing ‘amebo’ to everybody that its wearer has nothing underneath.

Thank goodness there are still a lot of women out there helping to preserve the ‘underwear species’. The disappearance of the underwear is becoming somewhat scary, not to talk of the funny revealing outfits all over the place in the name of fashion.

Nowadays I get scared of passing in front of any lady in short skirt. I don’t want to end up accidentally seeing places where the sun don’t shine!

Gawat's Disappearance: Stupid Rumors Abounding

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 27, 2012

When the disappearance of popular TV show host, Alhaji Rasaq Gawat (who went missing since Tuesday 10^th July) was announced, there were all sorts of speculations as to what may have really happened.  The most paramount of all these speculations was that he might have been kidnapped.

Alhaji Rasaq Gawat

Our CEO who happened to be a close friend of the family along with other friends helped to mobilize the public announcement for the search across different mediums. One of our staff also happened to be a niece to Alhaji Gawat and was very close to the family. This afforded me the opportunity to inside info on what’s going on with the family; I was able to experience the pain first hand.

Then I was flabbergasted when the rumour began spreading that Alhaji Gawat was actually killed by his wife.

Haba!! Where did such story spring from?

A colleague of mine overheard women in her hair salon discussing the matter. The story flying about the place is that Alhaji Gawat was seeing another woman and was intending to marry her. In order to placate his current wife, he gave her some huge amount of money as a gift. The woman in return used the money to hire assassins to take out her husband!

The rumour further goes to say that the suspicion of the wife was further heightened that she doesn’t seem sober or sorrowful about the disappearance of her husband.

I was totally pissed when I heard this.

Who are the knuckleheads coming up with such conclusions? So what should the woman be doing – crying all over the place?

I heard that this was also discussed on some radio program too.

In a discussion with Gawat’s niece, she informed me that the wife had become a ghost of herself. She has been in a tight corner of what to feel…she’s still hopeful that her husband would be found, even when it seems bleak. So, because a woman is just trying to stay strong, she’s a suspect?

Come on!

Na where dem get the proof say na the woman do am?

The rumour had escalated to such an alarming degree that I got a brief from the CEO to commission another radio production for a public service announcement to bring to the awareness of people that the rumours are untrue.

Unless the police comes out with a statement out of their investigation, or some proof has cropped up, nobody should be mouthing off on a helpless woman who’s calling for help in the search of her missing husband.

Enough of the rumours!