Denrele Claims He's a Bad Role Model

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Denrele

You might have heard him say it but not realize that he's saying so but that's what he definitely implies.

Denrele Edun, the prince of weirdness and showbiz personality appeared on a TV Ad for Music Africa's Azonto Fiesta show coming up in November. He did a cameo for the intro and ended it with this funny statement:

'If you're not there, all your children will look like me!'

That does sound funny but when you look carefully at that statement, you can see it implies that he doesn't consider himself a good role model for kids. I like his honesty.

But I do remember him being featured on a children's program as a special guest.
Hmm...maybe he hadn't considering himself a negative influence on kids by then.

As for me, I won't be going to any Azonto fiesta...and my children will never look like him IJN...lol!

Aki & Pawpaw Become Motivational Speakers

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The thought of the famous diminutive pair Chinedu Ikedieze (Aki) and Osita Iheme (Pawpaw) becoming motivational speakers seriously made me laugh. I have seen some bad thinking that involved them as role model for kids by using them to sell the OK sweet lollipop brand in the past but when I heard of them as motivational speakers, it just sounded like another comedy unfolding.

But hey, it doesn't sound like a bad idea when you look at it from another angle.

Okay let me get serious and let you in on the real story.

Delta State Governor Emmanuel Uduaghan, was actually the one who got these guys to come and serve as a source of motivation for the flood victims.

Here's an excerpt from Channels news:

The governor said he invited the duo after he visited the Institute of Continuing Education, where some flood victims’ were camped on a certain day and discovered that the displaced person, who were watching a Nollywood movie, were so engrossed that they barely gave him attention when he walked in.


“As I walked in, half of the population were watching television; you know we provided a giant television for them,” he said.
“I tried to attract their attention. Some looked at me and greeted me, but they turned to continue watching the television. When I looked at the television, I saw it was Aki, Paw Paw and Ibu that they were watching.

“You see, because they were watching Aki, Paw Paw and Ibu, they forgot their pains. For them, these Nollywood actors were helping them to ease their pains. That was why I invited them to go to the different camps as motivational speakers because the victims require a lot of motivation, while they are preparing to go back home,” the governor added.

He said the victims needed psychological support, adding that he was optimistic that Aki and Paw Paw would provide it for them.

“That is why they are here as motivational speakers. I believe that the few minutes they will spend will ease the pains of our IDPs. Those who have ability to ease those in pains, please help, it is not about food alone for the victims – that will not ease their pains.”

Okay...so now you know the kind of motivational speaking the duo would be doing...before you go thinking that it has to do with organizing seminars for unfortunate folks who are looking for corporate breakthrough.

Gabriel's Awesome 'Kokoro Ife' (Love Bug)

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I usually don't do this on my blog but I think I'm going to start because I can't just ignore originality, creativity and good use of talent.

I've always seen Gabriel Afolayan as a fine young actor. The first time I ever saw him was on one of the series of Wale Adenuga's Super Story where he convincingly played a passionate lover boy of an older woman. His role there was so powerfully convincing that I marked him as a talent to watch out for.

And I wasn't disappointed.

Gabriel

In fact, if there was a Nigerian movie that had Gabriel featuring in it, I'm compelled to watch it. The guy definitely has his father's blood running strongly through him (His Dad was the late ace film maker Ade Afolayan aka 'Ade Love').

Now, we've seen as Nigerian actors and actresses dabbled into music and ended up disappointing us or just ended up making an azz out of themselves; something many of them shouldn't have gone anywhere near in the first place.

But Gabriel did not disappoint at all. His single titled 'Kokoro Ife' (Love Bug), is a beautiful soulful R&B love ballad rendered in both English and Yoruba (released sometime in April or March). From the song's lyrics one can deduce that it was carefully composed; it's rich and poetic. Gabriel renders the song in this soulful haunting voice that is reminiscent of originality akin to artistes like Asa and 9ice but still with its own identity. I never knew the dude had a voice that powerful.  

I also noticed that the song was sung all through in Gabriel's voice without the intrusion of the infamous auto-tuning effect that many 'fake' artistes use to hide the fact that they actually don't have good singing voice. This allowed the song to haunt its listeners strongly. Coming up with the tune for the song was no doubt real work because its not just linear singing; it plays out stretching out the melody creatively.

Even the video managed to capture the haunting nature of the song. Gabriel practically acted out the song in it; you could see his passionate lover boy skills at work in there.

Now I know that Dimeji Ajibola made a very good choice in starring him the recently premiered Nollywood musical thriller Hoodrush (This is a movie I might write about someday on this blog due to its attempt to explore something totally different in Nollywood)

I found my self playing the music repeatedly...and it's not easy to get me playing a song repeatedly!

This post is a tribute to Gabriel's originality. I'm proud of you man!

Area Boys: Hustlers of Ignorance

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 29, 2012

Image by George Oshodi

 I was on my way home with the family from church in a friend’s Toyota Tundra two Sundays ago when the vehicle’s towing hook got us stuck along a bad road deep inside the rural town of Alagbado. Within minutes neighborhood guys and some area boys had surrounded the truck trying to push, carry and prompt the it out of the crevice that had caught the hook.

The scenario was noisy and skirmished as everyone was shouting different stupid solutions to the problem. They pushed and it got worse, they told my friend to reverse and it didn’t work.  Someone asked for the jack to lift the car and only ended up spoiling it.

Eventually one smart guy who hadn't been arguing just took a piece of rod lying somewhere, placed it under the hook and with effort from another person lifted the hook as the jeep was throttled and we were instantly free.

Simple solution!

Toyota Tundra

Then the scruffy knucklehead who spoilt our jack had the guts to come ask to be paid for his effort. I felt like socking him in the jaw but I didn’t want to lose the blessings I had received in church. So I just asked him ‘For what? For spoiling the jack?’

By the time we (my friend, wifey, and I along with some elderly baba from the neighbourhood) faced him, he mellowed and took off. Even the guy who had pried us loose didn’t come a-begging.

Then just yesterday, on our way back from church we stopped at a petrol station to re-fuel. There was this area boy who would want to help direct whenever anybody needed to re-park or reposition his car. His help was actually not necessary but he did it and expected to get paid.

I laughed.

Na work be that? Well…at least it’s better than stealing, but he can do better if people with one arm can hawk goods at Maryland Traffic light junction.

I’ve noticed that Lagos seems to have factors that push these area boys to get a bit creative a bit unlike their Ogun State counterparts.

Area boys in Lagos always attempt to be creative with their hustling. Some are smart to come up with money making strategies – like removing the divider on a highway where there’s traffic so that cars can turn into the opposite lane, and collect toll fare for it or simply collect toll from you for passing through their neighborhood as a shortcut. Some also attempt to crudely fill potholes in roads with sand or debris for easy passage of cars and stop you to pay them before you pass.

Meanwhile, the area boys in Abeokuta, Ogun State happen to be a bunch of lazy goons. They only thing they ever do is surround you, hail you to death with unmerited accolades and praises, and expect to get tipped. I experienced this bunch full hand at my Grandmother’s burial. What got me in their trap was the fact that I was wearing traditional attire. That alone qualified me as capable of doling out cash at the event. I managed to give a little cash to a couple of them and told them to share it. I hadn't gone far when another bunch that had been lazying around and saw what happen hurried up to me hailing me and expecting to receive their share!

As if I was sharing national cake!

There are so many area miscreants out there who don’t want to engage hard work but want to get paid.   They actually don’t have an excuse; unfortunately they are also ignorant about the fact that they don’t have excuse.

I wish I could help keep them off the streets and make them an asset to society, unfortunately, that's not my calling.

God help us...God help them!

The Okada Ban Song

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Now, with the most recent happenstance being the ban on Okada, some creative artiste gathered some On Air personalities and comedians and came up with this hilarious and melodious song about the Lagos State ban on Okada. 

For those who don't know, 'Okada' is the nickname given to Commercial Motorcycles in Nigeria.

The song 'Okada Ban' was sung by EmmaOhMaGod, featuring Nedu, Matse, N6, Do2dtun, Yaw and Alibaba. You can download the song here

 Nigerians are smart. All around us we can find situations to turn into music. Sometimes the music may have a message, sometimes it may be a clarion call or a song of lamentation. A very good example was the number of quick singles and even videos that came out during the Fuel Subsidy protests in January.

What other time than now to churn out a lovely song on the Okada ban.

Nice one EmmaOhMaGod....(lol...which kain name be dat sef?)

Trending: Brainless Aluu-Minded People

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Wednesday, October 24, 2012

They are everywhere.

They are ready to pounce and exact jungle justice for any petty crime of which they are capable of doing worse.

They are opportunists, fake sympathizers, perverts and thieves in disguise.

And they usually enjoy the overrated excuse that they are a product of the poverty-stricken situation of the country.

They are the Brainless Aluu-minded people.

I call them ‘brainless’ because they are an insult to humanity, choosing to not to use their brains but degrade themselves to animalistic tendencies. I’ve always disagreed with those scientists that made the assertion that humans are ‘higher animals’ because I felt it was a debasement of God’s intelligent creation but in this case I think I agree that some humans are just animals…their possession of a brain is a waste and an insult to mankind. There are better things to use a brain for than to attack or molest your fellow human being.

I call them ‘Aluu-Minded’ with the allusion to the Aluu people who heartlessly killed four UniPort students in the most brutal manner. The Aluu mentally determines that jungle justice be meted to anybody who is suspected or accused of a crime (notice that I said ‘suspected’ or ‘accused’ and not ‘convicted’) without any standing proof, even when the suspect’s profile does not in any way look like a criminal.

Not long after the Aluu killings, a video circulated the web on a girl who was said to have been caught at some shopping mall for stealing God-knows-what.  Though there was nothing to prove that this actually happened in Nigeria, you could see clearly that the Brainless Aluu-minded spirit doth rested upon these shameless infidels; they assaulted the girl by stripping her naked and shoving stuff into her private part.

The girl holding onto her ripped clothes before she was sexually assaulted

Then I read of the nasty incident that happened to Sugabelly on a night out with friends. Their driver had accidentally hit a taxi while reversing and ruined part of the cab. They had hurried over to access the situation but then a mob began to gather shouting at them and raising a ruckus as if they had just killed someone. Sugabelly and her friends had to hide in the car which the mob began to attack and push against. It took police intervention to quell the situation. They had to drive away from the scenario with the cops and taxi driver to settle the issue elsewhere. Thank goodness the police did not run this time.

Sugabelly managed to bravely capture some of the incident on camera

It was an event that was just unwarranted.

In the words of Sugabelly, "How the *bleep* did this happen? I came to buy shawarma. How did I get from shawarma to this?"

Once again, the Brainless Aluu-minded spirit had rested upon a bunch of jobless Neanderthals. Read the rest of the story on her blog.

Brainless Aluu-minded people have been around for a long time. It’s just that after the Aluu incident, a proper nomenclature could now be ascribed to them.

See how badly a name could be spoilt.

I’m so glad I’m not from that region. Imagine someone asking you which state, local government or hometown you’re from…and you say Rivers State, Aluu local government….boy, you’re finished be that!

Images courtesy

www.sugabellyrocks.com
www.cleverleydoesit.blogspot.com

I Can Do All Things [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sorry for the brief hiatus...it was due to internet palava.

Nothing is impossible - most especially when we involve God. But many of us have been empowered to achieve that which others deem impossible. Ask the these ones in the photos below.

I can finish it!

I can DJ!

I can sell market at Alaba.

I can vulganize!

I can do Copper shun!

I can back the twins!

I can wash it all *sob!*

I can finish all the amala!

I can carry it with my teeth!

I can protest!

Eniola Badmus can finish a basin of Eba!

I can suck soup with straw.

I can supahero!

I can ping with a broken leg!

I can pose for foto in water.

We can push caterpillar!

Lol...Nothing is impossible. If you put your back into it, you can achieve a lot, but if you do it with God you can do wonders!

13 Suspects of the Aluu Murders Paraded

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, October 16, 2012

 

 

Just saw this on the news a few minutes ago. The 13 suspects connected with the death of the four Uniport undergraduates are seen here being paraded by the police.

Channels TV carried the news this evening. The dude in red and white shirt was questioned in the report. The video should probably be up on Channels youtube station by tomorrow.

The suspects are: Ozioma Abajuo 23 years, Chigozie Evans Samuel 22 years, Endurance Edet, 27 years, Uwem Sampson Akpabio 30 years, David Chinasa Ugbaje 30 years, Cynthia Chinwo 24-year-old female, Lawal Segun 28years, Lucky Orji 43 years, Ekpe Daniel 30 years, George Nwadei 30 years, Gabriel Oche 33 years and the Aluu Community Chief, Alhaji Hassan Welewa.

Ufuoma Ejenobor & Hubby Welcome First Child

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 15, 2012

 

 

 

I couldn't resist putting up a congratulatory post for Ufuoma Ejenobor and her hubby, Steve Mcdermott on the arrival of their first child. Ufuoma is a rising nollywood actress while Steve is a Advertising practitioner who I once worked with (now you see why I had to put this up!).

 

 

Ufuoma

 

 

 

Steve

The couple was blessed with a baby boy on wednesday 10th of October. Congrats to the couple and most especially Steve who was my Creative Director way back. Then he was still single. He later got married to Ufuoma nearing his final days with the company in April 2010.

You'd hardly see a pic of Steve online but I happen to be in possession of some.
Oh...and that's not his new son in the pic for those of you gossip bloggers who'd want to copy it and start lying about the net that you got a pic of Steve and his son!

Kids Do The Darndest Things

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, October 15, 2012

 

Timi shows off her honor badge.

 

Kids have always been known to say the most amusing things in their cute little lives of innocence. I get a daily dosage of that from Timi, my little 3 year old. I’ve always taken time to study her mannerisms as she grew in order to understand her personality, her hobbies, her strengths and gifts. Her baby brother at 1 year and five months also has his own amusing mannerisms – this was even further amplified ever since he started walking.

 

 

Timi has this amusing habit of always asking for permission to always do almost anything even if it’s to pee or poop. (She can actually do it by herself without supervision). Timi would ask permission to drink the water you placed in front of her meal; she’d ask permission to wash her hands after eating; she’d ask permission to play with her toys which she’s free to play with anytime; she’d ask permission to even go to sleep! At some point I would always try to tell her that she needn’t ask me permission to do some of these things but as we know, small pikin no dey too hear word. She’d do it again and again. Wifey explained it off as Timi just being extra-careful not to overstep her bounds (Ha! She gets that from me!).

 

 

My Babygirl's Virtue Honor Badge

 

 

Then she came home today sporting a Virtue honors badge from school on her uniform. The honors badge is a periodical badge of honor given to pupils who excel in some aspect or behavior in the course of the week in school. Timi’s habit of not overstepping her bounds was obviously very noticeable in school; she turned out to be a well-behaved as a result thus earning her a Virtue badge.

 

I was so proud of her.

 

And I decided to stop trying to get her not to ask permission for the things that didn’t really require asking permission.

 

Raising up kids in today’s corrupted society with the magnitude of filth around and in the media is not so easy for any parent. You don’t know what your kids are learning and who they are mixing with when you’re not there. But whatever bit of positive behavior you notice surfacing in your child, it’s good to celebrate it and let them know you appreciate it. We try our best to expose Timi and her brother to only positive stuff and leave the rest to God when we’re not there. And we make sure that we appreciate her when she does something good.

We should never underestimate kids from the ages of 1 upwards; you’ll be surprised how these kids soak in stuff around you.

 

So when that kid does something cool, make a big deal of it. The aftermath can be very rewarding.

The 'Gbagauns' of Yoruba Nollywood

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, October 11, 2012

Did I once mention that the inability to construct correct English is fast becoming comedy in Naija entertainment? Oh yes it is. In fact comedians like Funke Akindele and Princess have suceeded in creating characters whose laughter inducing prowess lies in the ability to butcher the English language.

 

But that is comedy based on deliberate shotguns of English and it is quite understandable.

 

Meanwhile there is undeliberate destruction of the English language that is rampant in Yoruba Nollywood  movies. You find yourself watching scenarios which are meant to be serious or suspenseful but just can't help laughing when you read the crazy 'gbagauns' in the subtitles. ('Gbagaun' is a Naija slang that refers to gramatical errors or lexicon typos).

 

I'm forced to wonder...with all the so-said development taking place in Nollywood, is getting someone who can actually translate properly a hard thing?

 

Though I will still credit some other Yoruba movies which have proper subtitling and even do an accurate job but the ones that don't are numerous. You might have seen some of these on the internet...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can always catch some of these ridiculous subtitling on Africa Magic Yoruba on DSTV or any other means by which you can watch yoruba movies. The first few scenes in some cases should tell you whether its a properly subtitled movie or not.

 

I still laugh when I read the gbagauns above. How can it be this bad? Is this not a way of letting the International viewership know that some of our movie makers no sabi English?

 

Which one do you find most hilarious of them all?