Signs of The Times [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, September 25, 2012

We are in the times when illiteracy has become comedy...the times when somebody's inadequacy can turn him into a comedian. But despite that, some still innocently display it with the hope that this too shall pass.

Sometimes a trip around town or even the internet would showcase a variety of 'Gbagauns' or 'Tiauns' as Nigerians fondly nickname the art of butchering the English language or someone's mediocre display of what they think is creativity.

   

Like we always say in Naija...idea is need!
I guess you can figure out what they were trying to say here.

I didn't know that Pile was edible...oh wait, was that suppose to be 'Pie' ?
Yels...I tink so!

This is a popular one...from the stables of some false prophet

Its not good enough to hear what people call it
...also know how they spell it!

I don't blame the writer. Seriously...Diesel is not that easy to spell...or is it?

I keep wondering if this teller was accepted. Oh crap...I think it was
- isn't that a red pen writing and a stamp in the corner?

This was a totally heartless idea. Its like a curse on your students

I wonder what the inspiration behind this name was!

This is no doubt the handiwork of an educated illiterate

I thought a hair salon was where they made hair...

LOL...How would D'banj feel if he saw this?

Which grass?

Which kain name be dis?
INTERCRAP??

I just couldn't resist adding this. Each time I see this headline,
I just burst into laughter. So this time its not the work of the devil abi?
See how person dey frame Holy Spirit!

The Unquenchable Wrath of Islamic Faithfuls

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, September 24, 2012

When Boko Haram began their idiotic bombing campaign, a lot of Muslims condemned the acts and Clerics voiced here and there that Islam was a peaceful religion and did not condone such violence. Many Islamic faithfuls even disassociated themselves from the beliefs of the sect.

Nigeria is a nation that had managed co-existence with different tribes and religions for some time but there have been hiccups of religious uprising at one time or the other. Still it seems some voices are clamoring for peaceful co-existence while others just want Islam to be the only religion for the nation.  

I used to have a close Muslim buddy way back.  We did a lot of things together and were close right from secondary school into the University. But at one time he began to get too radical as a Muslim and started supporting some very dangerous ideals that made me instantly distance myself from him; he was turning into the type that could butcher his best friend if need be in order that some fanatic Islamic ideals be enforced.

Nowadays I’m finding it hard to believe that Islam is a peaceful religion because of the world wide rampage that’s taking place across the world.

I’m not saying its right for some cretin to be bashing the religion but for goodness sake even Christianity has suffered all manner of abominable bashings, blasphemous pronouncements of all sorts yet there was no uprising, protest and burning or attack of people and buildings.

Source

I was dumbfounded when I even heard the news that somewhere in Kano State Muslims were also protesting the Blasphemous movie that was produced to mock Islam in the US.

Seriously…was that all worth it?

I was listening to an Islamic Cleric on radio this morning, Alhaji Shettima Yerima who was expressing his disappointment with people who are giving the religion a bad name. One thing that he mentioned that caught my attention was the fact that Christians don’t go rampaging when such a thing happens to their own religion; he also stated that they need to leave the wrath to God. This is very true in the sense that  Muslims who go rampaging about some blasphemous production end up making it look like their God is helpless and requires humans to fight for him!

Christianity itself has suffered a lot with all manner of blasphemous movies that ridicule the Lord Jesus Christ, yet the only thing that follow are condemnations and bans from all quarters concerned. You won’t see a violent uprising take place as a result.

I came across an article on the site www.albawaba.com which attempts to answer the question:

                  Why is the Arab/Muslim world so easily offended?

 Modernity requires the willingness to be offended. And as anti-American violence across the Middle East and beyond shows, that willingness is something the Arab world, the heartland of Islam, still lacks.

Sounds plausible…but I just hope it’s not that bad because it seems this phenomenon also involves Nigerian Muslims in the north. Muslims in the south seem way more peaceful.

Movie: Mr & Mrs - When Marriage Goes Wrong

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, September 21, 2012

I’ve always noticed that the movie industry has a way of trending on certain themes from time to time. This is something that happens both in foreign movies as well as Nigerian movies. Currently it seems the superhero/superhuman theme is what is currently trending in Hollywood with the release of movies that border on superhero figures we once knew as comic characters in our childhood days.

I’m not sure what’s trending in Bollywood for now since I’m not an avid watcher of Bollywood movies. My wife would probably have an idea what’s trending; that woman watches Indian movies like she breathes air.

As for Nollywood its becoming apparent that movies that focus on marriage is the growing trend now. It’s as if there’s a wave to explore the theme sweeping across the Nigerian movie landscape with movies like ‘Two brides and a baby’, ‘Married But Living Single’, ‘Single and Married’…the list goes on.

Mr & Mrs Abah

While I’ve not gotten to watch some of these movies, I happen to come across one titled ‘Mr & Mrs’ which was actually impressive in terms of content, production, storyline and plot. The producers of this movie showcased a level of professionalism that Nollywood  used to lack in the past.

The story is about a married couple, Kenneth (Joseph Benjamin) and Susan Abah (Nse Ikpe Etim) who are also blessed with kids (though throughout the movie, we don’t get to see the kids).  Ken comes from a wealthy and successful family while Susan comes from a family with a struggling background. Despite her being a law graduate, Ken keeps her at home as a housewife. Susan cooks good food for him, takes good care of the home, is totally submissive yet her husband, Ken, takes her for granted and disregards her; she’s like a slave in her own home – he bickers about her cooking at times, is more concerned about his welfare and satisfaction and treats her with disdain. The toll of being kept at home and not allowed to leave the house plus the way Ken treats her takes its toll on Susan making her look haggard.

Susan confronts Ken's lover

Eventually when Ken begins to cheat on Susan, she loses it and in her anger he offers her a divorce. But it’s not easy as Ken’s father (Babajide Bolarinwa), who’s a politician is about campaigning for upcoming elections and a scandal on the family is the last things needed. An agreement that would require the couple to still be living together masquerading as a couple though divorced was reached. The plan was that the divorce would be made public and they could eventually separate after the elections.

Linda & Charles 

Linda, Susan’s friend (Thelma Okodua), has it differently with her own family. She’s a career woman who practically has no time for her children (whom we don’t get to see also) and Charles, her husband (Paul Apel). She has a maid that helps see to all that. Everything seems perfect until she discovers that all is not as it really seems.

Ken eavesdrop on Susan after the separation

The story which delves between the two couples carries a weight of suspense as you are made to wonder what actually would become of Susan and her kids but in a beautiful twist Ken would eventually be humbled. The circumstance of Linda and Charles was however predictable and inevitable. The movie is very realistic in portraying a situation that’s prevalent in many homes. Its storyline is didactic and we find some scriptural reference being quoted from time to time and quite appropriately.

The movie had its sad moments where you felt the depth of Susan’s sadness and neglect by her husband. There are also hilarious moments like the instance when Ken becomes jealous after discovering that a dildo has taken his place, and the time when he’s pissed at the meal cooked for him by a maid after Susan stops cooking for him.

Ken can't stand competition with a dildo

The picture quality is good though there were few glitches in camera focus which when zoomed in on a subject seemed to blur too often. This is one movie that everywoman would love to watch. The characters are real and convincing; Nse Ikpe Etim was amazing in her performance as Susan. Joseph Benjamin was as cold hearted and abusive as ever as the self-centered Ken. Barbara Sokey was good in her portrayal as Ken’s Mum.

Missing Susan's cooking

I also couldn’t help but notice that there were no useless and unnecessary prolonged scenes in the movie which is a plus as Nollywood is notorious for prolonged scenes that aim to eat into movie time. I also noticed that unnecessary ‘waka-pass’ was avoided.

Most of the movie was shot indoors and we never got to see the kids. The producers seemed to have cleverly avoided showing them for some reason, maybe funding. Production may have been on a controlled budget and still managed to make an interesting though not too fantastic film.

Irrespective of the stereotyping, the movie leaves valid and true lessons for all, the most poignant being the one that you do not know the value of something until you lose it.

If you ain’t seen this movie, check it out, it’s worth the watch!

Wunmi Adebayo’s Death – Who’s telling the truth?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 20, 2012

The news was agog last week on the merciless killing of a 21 year old undergraduate, Wunmi Adebayo. All over the net and on tabloids, the news was vividly reported. However, there are anomalies springing up on the death of this young lady making me wonder if there’s some conspiracy brewing somewhere or this was just a case of bad reporting or journalism.

What really happened on the night Wunmi Adebayo was killed?

According to some tabloids, she was killed on Sunday 9^th of September, by robbers on who invaded the house where she was staying the night with a male friend; she was shot when she refused to part with some jewelry that had been given to her by her mother. As of the 19^th of September, PM news still referred to the same incident just as narrated in a recently posted article.

Then in a twist that made a mess of the whole thing, news again spreads across blogs and gist sites that Wunmi was actually murdered by the said friend who was actually a member of an armed robbery gang. Wunmi was said to have walked in on them while they were celebrating over the loot and recent operation . She had seen what she was never meant to see, thus they raped and silenced her.

Here we have two differing stories and I’m wondering, which is one to believe?

Is somebody hiding something? Or is there more to it that we don’t know about this girl’s murder?

Both stories seem to give all manner of details such that they seem like something that really happened. But what really happened?

Who’s telling the truth?

Myne Whitman on The Heart of The Matter

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 20, 2012

I was seated at my desk working on a TV Ad presentation for one of our clients this morning when one of my subordinates called my attention to the TV in our office.

"Afro! Check it out...your friend, the owner of Naija Stories is on TV!"

And sure enough there was Myne Whitman, the brain behind Naija Stories (the site that helped ressurect the sleeping writer in me back to life) on air on a TV show titled The Heart of The Matter, being interviewed by the host Pastor Wale Adefarasin. I was able to catch and record a clip from the show where she talked about how she came about Naija Stories. 



The Heart of the Matter is a show that interviews and gives us opportunities to hear and know of people who are making a positive impact in the Nigerian society. I'm not surprised that Myne got to be interviewed; she really is an impacting individual and I'm proud of her...even if no be my mama born am...lol.

Image courtesy  www.mynewhitmanwrites.com

Well done Myne...more power to your elbow, thanks for inspiring so many talents out there and God bless you for all your efforts!

Microwaved Childhood

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, September 17, 2012

Have you noticed how rampant pedophilia crimes have escalated in the last few months? It’s rather a disturbing trend that calls for serious and drastic attention. Little kids as young as 3 to 4 years old are getting violated by far older and insane adults; it’s always almost part of what you hear in the news nowadays. I would probably have said it’s as a result of the nature of crap we see on TV today but from my critical observations, it’s more than that.

I also wouldn’t have written this article if it had happened in the United States or some other foreign country. Unfortunately, the rampant abuse of under-aged kids is happening right here in Nigeria! When something like this begins to happen I question the motive behind it. It seems as if it’s one of the latest diabolic means of getting rich through the instruction of some native doctor or babalawo. I mean, it’s not new when you hear of someone being told to go and have sex with a roaming lunatic on the streets so that a ritual exercise that will ensure wealth is fulfilled. It seems suspiciously so in a lot of cases.

But then there is the disturbing fact that a lot of parents are equally encouraging the despicable crime of pedophilia.

With all the nasty outfits out there that barely cover our women all in the name of fashion or trends plus all the societal vices we carelessly expose them to, the society should be prepared for the worst. I see the kind of body-baring fashion our little baby girls are being made to wear all in the name of following trends. When you couple this with some of today's filthy music and odd reality shows, you get an explosive combination. I like the way Atary puts it on an entry on her blog; she calls it the act of turning our kids into ‘miniature adults’. Bad enough that there are some evil individuals lurking about ready to attack on little innocent ones (they may even be within the family) but donning our kids in clothes that seem to enhance their little baby body parts is like passing Suya under the nose of a very hungry dog.

I was watched a documentary on the life of a particular abused 6 year old who as a result of her abuse was beginning to develop homicidal tendencies. This was a little girl who had masturbated and occasionally threatened to kill her younger brother…and made attempts to do it. She became homicidal due to the nature of the abuse she faced from her unknown parents (she lived with foster parents). Fortunately, she was rehabilitated and recovered with time.

My little 3 year old, Timi, during
a traditional fashion parade

Protecting our kids is a given but I believe parents also have the responsibility of championing what they expose their kids to. I’m careful what I let my little girl wear. She may be three years old but she has an intelligence that I refuse to underestimate. I take time to listen and study her. I may not be around her all the time but I’m ready to erase any bad things she might have picked up accidentally from any place.

Apart from some smart clothes which retain her childhood, her Mum and I have also gone to the extent of sewing a variety of Ankara outfits that make her look smart and traditional; I remember her liking one so much she was begging to be taken on an outing for the sake of wearing her outfit.

Children of today are being made to grow way too fast, no thanks to the pressures and evils of today’s society; it’s the duty of parents to slow things down so that they actually live out their childhood in full and not micro-waved.

God help us!

When Nigerians Improvise [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, September 14, 2012

I love my fellow Nigerians. They just never say never; no situation weighs them down, they always find a way round anything. That's why we had the evolution of bikes into Taxi's called Okada, that's why we've got people bringing market (street hawkers) to you on the streets when you don't have time to go to the market, that's why we have drinking water now cheaply available in nylon sachets...the list of how we manage to adapt, evolve things around us to survive is endless. Today's photos are a hilarious representation of our improvising spirit taken to the extreme.

Anything to hear that music!

Man must brush teeth no matter what!

Create your own fashion if you can'y afford it.

Improvised balance diet...Wharreva...sebi na food?

Security measures to ensure your roomates don't steal meat from  your pot of soup.

LOL!...These pics look like scenarios you find happening on Nigerian campuses.

All Pictures Courtesy www.twitter.com

1 Year Old Robbery Victim Needs Your Help

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 13, 2012

I was moved when I heard of one year old Taiwo Lawal's story. The little boy got hit by a stray bullet from armed robbers who invaded a GT Bank at Gbagada on Sunday September 9th. He was hit in the head while playing in his Dad's compound.

I have a one year old (A.Y) and cannot bear the idea of anything of such happening to him. The fact that Taiwo's just a year old is enough to break one's heart; a little innocent boy put in a painful state by a bunch of idiots who took it up to rob a bank.

That's why I'm also putting up this plea for Taiwo; I don't know him, never met his family, nor was ever asked to do this. I'm just doing it because I know what it feels to be a parent with a child in pains.

Taiwo is on admission in LUTH and needs N500,000 for treatment. If you're able to help or get help in any way, please contact his Dad on 08028416683  or his Aunt on 08121118895. His Aunt's Account details are as follows: Lawal Mariam Oyenike. GTBank. Acct no: 2087293311590. 

God bless you as you help.

Woman Delivers Strange Creature in Church - True or False?

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 13, 2012

Okay, I don't know what to make of this story that's going round presently.

The story follows an occurrence at World Liberation Ministry Church in Benin-City, Edo State where a  woman during a serious prayer session delivered the creature in the above photo which looks like a baby horse.

According to the news gathered, the General overseer, Evangelist Silva Wealth said that he got a revelation during the prayers that there was a woman with an issue of which something was blocking her womb. As the prayers intensified the woman began screaming and she delivered this strange creature.

Another version of the story which I heard on radio during a talk show yesterday evening was that the Pastor had told her she would deliver at that moment in the church; the woman went into labour and the Pastor told the men to stand back while women covered her with wrappers as she delivered.

From the nature of the photo, it looks quite believable; the creature still bears blood stains that may have come from the woman, the floor is equally stained with blood. I even found another picture of the creature taken from another angle. Well, I guess the fact that its not a major story is why there's not much to say about it.

While details are still quite sketchy, this is not the first time such strange occurrences have happened. Last month there was the story of Rasheedat Raimi who gave birth to a baby girl and a tortoise in Lagos. Then last year there was the story of an Ado-Ekiti woman who gave birth to a creature with bulging eyes, few strands of hair and no brain.

On the radio talk show I spoke about earlier, the hostess was talking about how impossible it was for a baby horse to survive or breed in a human according to research; it was gathered that the sperm of a horse could never survive in a human so the lady couldn't have been involved in beastiality.

This looks like nothing but a spiritual thing because I can't fathom what manner of explanation science would give to such phenomenon; its like something straight out of a nollywood horror flick.

I just hope this is not another prank where someone shot the picture of the dead still-born of a goat and faked the news....

When School is in...and the Fees are Killing!

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Courtesy www.myowndp.com

As I approached the gate that led to the estate where my office was situated, I noticed a small hold-up was already building. Initially it looked unusual then it suddenly occurred to me that the hold-up was caused by one of those expensive private schools where all the children had to be dropped by drivers in their different rides. In all my lifetime of going to and fro from the office, I have never for once met any kid from that school going home on barefoot or catching a commercial bus home from school; definitely a school for well-to-do families. 

I laughed as I had a flashback of my own childhood days when I always had to go home from school with my five siblings…and we had to always board those notorious vehicles known as Molue buses. I always hated going to school because of the thought of how I was going to cruise those smelly monstrous molue buses. Life wasn’t a bed of roses.

Then the fact also hit me that schools had started resuming.

I suddenly remembered the challenges I was having with the expensive private school my daughter, Timi, was attending. The fees were breaking my neck and we were struggling to meet up.  Eventually when we did a review of expenses and debts incurred after a session ended in the school and I was not smiling at all!

Thus the decision to change my baby girl’s school came up.

Wifey did not dig the idea at first but on seeing the extent of damage the fees would do to us, she grudgingly agreed. She’ll be starting at another private school which is cheaper and still good…I don’t care what anybody says…our decision is final!

It was not easy making this decision but thank God for an article I read on Simply Mee’s blog which did a proper breakdown on this phenomenon that many parents go through. If you’re a parent with a kid that’s in an expensive school I’ll highly recommend you read this post; its wrought with truth and food for thought on an issue that’s affecting many homes and putting a strain on marriages.

So check it out on Simply Mee’s blog…it’s worth the read!  

The Mystery Serpent of Olumo Rock [Photos]

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Monday, September 10, 2012

If you’ve ever toured the ancient city of Abeokuta in Ogun State, Nigeria, and happened to visit the famous Olumo Rock which stands towering majestically over the town, it’s likely that you’ve met the Rock guides who would have told you the history and the Myths of Olumo Rock.

Olumo Rock
Source

According to history, the massive edifice of nature which was named ‘Olumo’ – meaning ‘God molded this’, was a safe haven for Egba indigenes during war times in the 19^th century.  The Rock perfectly hid the people such that the enemy - warriors from Dahomey (now present day Republic of Benin), could never get to locate them. For a long time, they lived within the confines of the rock, they were able to farm and feed and shelter themselves. There was even the discovery of water that dripped within the rock which was said to be highly medicinal. Some eventually saw the rock as a deity that protected the Egba people till this day. Somewhere on the mid-base of the rock is a shrine where priests came to honor the deity of the rock.

Hide-out of the indigenes situated under the rock

Rock guide in front of the entrance to the Olumo deity shrine under the rock

The part of the rock that drips medicinal water

Reference to the medicinal water
(Click to enlarge and read)

Holes in the rock where the indigenes ground or pounded their food

From the top of the rock, you can view almost the entirety of Ogun State; landmarks such as the Ogun river, the first TV mast and old secondary schools and family buildings where popular Nigerians grew up could be seen from the top. It is indeed an awesome sight and a wonderful work of nature’s art.

A view of the Abeokuta from the rock

But in all these the one aspect of Olumo Rock which till today still baffles me is the Myth behind the Serpent that turned into stone.

I had heard the story a number of times since my younger years but I wanted to validate it. According to what I heard, the snake had somehow crawled onto the rock which was somewhat a taboo or an offence for such an animal and so the deity of the rock in anger turned the snake into stone. Another version said it was some powerful enemy of the indigenes who turned into a snake and climbed the rock with the hope of discovering where the people were hiding. The Rock deity in defense of the people then struck the snake with lightening and the snake turned into stone.

Close up view of the Mystery Serpent

On visiting the Olumo Rock, I asked about the snake and was shown where it was. It laid stiff on top a round rock in an obvious attempt to slither its way across the rock surface.  From a distance it looked like some thick root of a tree sticking out but on closer view I noticed that it actually was a snake with its mouth partially opened. A part of the mouth seemed to have broken probably due to long time exposure. 

A view of the Serpent from afar. Far below are local art carvings

The guides didn’t seem to be able to tell a viable story about the snake. I was later to learn that the Rock used to have some elderly individuals who were guardians of the rock but had passed on with time. One of them still had her grave situated under the rock and her house still stood opposite the grave. The guardians were the ones who would know the true story behind the snake. But I fear the story may have been lost in time as this generation passed on and left nothing much for the younger generation to comprehend. 

The grave site of the last elderly guardian situated under the rock.

I questioned the believability of this phenomenon. If this was just a dead snake, it should have decomposed totally but that was not the case. It was also hard to just say it’s a carving because of its positioning; it would have been hard if not impossible to carve it the way it appeared on the rock. Yet it was stiff and carried the same grey color as the rock. Further down the rock formation was a carving done by local artistes, which was totally different from what the snake looked like. The area was out of bounds, otherwise I would have moved closer to investigate very well. I could only snap a picture with my phone.

The mystery intrigued me. I wondered wether there was any way in which nature could turn a living entity into stone. I’m still not sure there is. I searched through the internet, eager to find any stories behind this myth but found nothing.

And so the mystery of the stone snake remains hanging…a question I’m dead curious about finding its answer. Does anyone know anything about this stone serpent? 

Holla back let’s hear!

Photo of the day - Extreme Autograph

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Friday, September 07, 2012

At first I thought the guy was a celebrity dropping his autograph but looking closely, you can see that the dude also has his own shirt adorned with autographs. The lady's shirt happen to have other autographs as well. So from my deduction I'd say these are probably youth corps members signing off on the service year and collecting each other's signature.

Okay...if that is the case I now understand the look on her face...

The Lady That Rocks The Truth - Stella Damasus

Chronicled by Afronuts @ Thursday, September 06, 2012

You’ll never hear me say I’m a fan of some celebrity or well known personality. This is simply because I see them as human beings and not some deity that some obsessed fans unknowingly end up turning them into. Aside that, I do admire celebrities that are original, real and true to themselves; because I believe this is something that makes them stand out in their own unique and positive way.

For a long time, I’ve found it hard to really admire Nollywood stars simply because the only thing that one seemed to know them for was just gracing our screens with fabulous or mediocre performances for movies with awkward plots and cliché storylines.

So you can imagine how stunned I was when I came to discover that Stella Damasus actually writes; and that she features her write-ups in some newspapers, on-line magazines and journals. It wasn’t only the fact that she wrote that impressed me but the depth of her writings.

From my own experience and training as a writer, I know a writer’s nature from the way they write. My analysis of Stella Damasus’ writings revealed that she is a woman of depth; a thinker who took time to dissect the status quo and paint reality in its true color. This is something you don’t come across easily in Nollywood stars, at least from all I’ve come across so far.

After reading one of Stella’s articles where she critically analyzed the wanton deception and backwardness of red carpet events and of a particular movie premiere, my curiosity was ignited and I wanted to know more about this pretty actress and mother of two.

For somebody who writes like that, I was sure she’d have a blog.

I was right. She had one.

And just as I guessed, she had a recent update.

This says a lot about the writer in her; she always has the drive to write something. Also she had inspiring write-ups lined up on her blog. In her personal experiences she comes across openly and with simplicity. You get positively counseled or provoked into thinking by her articles.

I didn’t stop there. I went looking for her twitter page.

Most times when you come across the twitter pages of celebrities, you see titles, awards and achievements displayed on their profile but all you see on Stella’s twitter page is just her name, her twitter handle, the link to her blog, a few digits and the slogan ‘God Pikin’.  That’s a profile that’s plain humble and not screaming out for recognition.

All I found from my search was a humble, simple, honest and down to earth woman who did not let the fame get into her head and thwart her perspective to life.

In a society where values are being corrupted everyday on screen by so-called celebrities and there is scarcity of role models for our kids, I can whole heartedly say that Stella Damasus is a breath of fresh air.